When talking to applicants, potential employers evaluate their communication skills. The ability to communicate in many ways affects personal life, relationships in family. In fact, this is the main skill on which everything depends: work, career, marriage, having friends. We learn good manners, but sometimes make unforgivable mistakes in communication that push people away and ruin our plans. How do we create barriers to successful communication? Can get rid of bad communication habits?
- Mistakes in communication: TOP 7 bad communication habits
- The main thing about communication mistakes that push people away
Mistakes in communication: TOP 7 bad communication habits
Do you know that in the last century alone, 126 wars took place on Earth, of which two are recognized as world wars? What makes people conflict? Lack of mutual understanding, inability to productively discuss problems, find compromises, i.e. large-scale errors in communication. We do all of them but not all bad communication habits lead to such tragic consequences.
It is important to realize that we create barriers in communication with other people, often without even suspecting it. If we moderate our conceit and get rid of at least a few communication shortcomings, we will be able to create a much more pleasant social environment for ourselves, get more benefits and pleasure.
Error 1. Verbal opposition of oneself to the interlocutor
We we are so accustomed to treating communication like a tug-of-war that we don t even think about changing our attitudes. And every conversation should be useful. We ourselves make this impossible by constantly focusing the attention of the interlocutors, using the pronoun "I", building any communication in the form of a dispute.
Psychologist's advice: use the word "we" more often. This will help emphasize common interests, verbally unite everyone who participates in the conversation into a team. Your task — create a holistic space for cooperation, and not win .
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Error 2. Complete or partial lack of eye contact
This is an important point. Eye contact tells the interlocutor that he is interesting. Remember how you yourself feel when the listener doesn look at you at all or often looks away.
Get in the habit of looking at the person during a conversation (not necessarily directly into the eyes). TV, smartphone or laptop will wait.
Error 3. Kill — show disdain for the interlocutor
We interrupt most often "not out malice, but out thought» — from excitement, from the desire to say something quickly, so as not to forget later. But everything that we communicate to the interlocutor with such an action: «I is more important than you, my thoughts mean more to me than yours». We can explain our mistake in communication however we like, but other read it as neglect.
Error 4. Different forms of demonstrating one's dominance
Watch you during communication: what distance do you keep, how your head is tilted. If you with all your appearance show how uninteresting you are, distance yourself from the interlocutor, don surprise that he does not want to communicate. Body language is stronger than words. If he conveys that only you are important, it doesn't promote healthy communication.
Tip: when talking, try to move away less, choose a position in which the head and body will be slightly tilted towards the interlocutor. To reinforce the impression of interest in what was said, answer by paraphrasing your counterpart's remarks. This will emphasize that you listened attentively and accepted what was said.
Read also: How to calculate a manipulator: recognizing by actions and methods of influence
Error 5. Assumptions about what the interlocutor wanted to say
How do you feel if you are interrupted and finished your sentence? It must be unpleasant. You immediately want to challenge what was said, even if it is 100% consistent with your thoughts. This is because people prefer attention to themselves, and not your person. Let me finish, don show that the interlocutor is predictable, uninteresting, and you know all his thoughts without him.
Error 6. Getting personal instead of criticizing what was said
Nobody says that you must agree with everything that is said, but you also need to be able to criticize. If you evaluate and condemn the personality of the interlocutor, and not his phrases, rest assured, he will consider you an unpleasant person. This is a fatal error that can cause a complete cessation of communication with a person.
Tip: try to criticize as little as possible. Accept that people may have different opinions. If you nevertheless enter into a controversy, never evaluate the interlocutor himself. Criticize only what he said, and very gently. It is advisable to use the same vocabulary as the speaker. So you emphasize that you do not agree only with words, but the person himself is important to you, pleasant.
Error 7. No leading questions — no mutual interest
How do we show interest in story? Most often in the form of approving or surprised interjections, short remarks. The person understands that you are interested, but he would like to fully capture your attention. Make it clear to the interlocutor that his story is extremely important, — ask a couple of leading questions. So your counterpart will be sure that he is being listened to, understood correctly. He will consider you the best conversationalist of all times and peoples.
Read also: How to please other people: 5 effective tricks
The main thing about mistakes in communication that push people away
Bad communication habits limit the circle of our communication, prevent us from achieving our goals and working productively. They should be tracked, analyzed and eliminated:
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Don't turn any communication into an argument, use the pronoun "we" more often.
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Look at the interlocutor during communication, put away gadgets.
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Don't interrupt people, listen to the sentries until the end.
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Ask leading questions.
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Try to make your body language emphasize the importance of the interlocutor.
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Don't play a telepath and guess better listen.
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Criticism of the interlocutor — taboo. Discuss only what has been said, but not the person himself.
Productive communication has a positive effect on the quality of life. Falling in love with others is so easy. Be attentive to people, and they will be drawn to you.
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