Слышать, а не только слушать: как стать лучшим собеседником

If you are used to throwing smart advice and imposing your attention, interrupting and dominating conversations, try to shut up for a while and try to listen normally to the interlocutor, think about his words and understand his point of view. The time during which your counterpart pronounces his remark is not at all given to you to think over the next beautiful phrase.

Communication – this is the interaction of interlocutors equally, so you should listen to what the person you are communicating with says, show interest in his thoughts. Find out in this article how to learn to listen and have a meaningful, fruitful conversation.

One of the reasons that smart and pleasant conversationalists are so rare is the habit of most people to respond not to other people's opinions, but to their own thoughts.

François de La Rochefoucauld

How to learn to listen to the interlocutor: 8 tips

  1. Decide how you want to behave. Imagine what kind of partner/friend/parent/family member you want to be. If you are still far from ideal – still immerse yourself in thinking about what kind of person you would like to become and behave in such a way that you become the best friend/husband/wife/parent, etc.
  2. To learn to listen, use synesthesia. This phenomenon refers to the combination of various channels through which information flows. That is, while listening, try to connect other senses, especially vision. Thus, the more channels are connected to one goal, the better your hearing, attention, understanding and general knowledge will be.
  3. Listen longer. No wonder they say that a wise man speaks little, but listens a lot. Do not prematurely sum up until you have listened to the end of the interlocutor – only then can you understand his point of view. It is also important to show the person that you are listening – from time to time say "yes", "exactly", nod your head, etc. In no case do not interrupt the interlocutor, after he finishes the phrase, take a short pause and start speaking.
  4. Remember to maintain eye contact. Forget at least for a while about your smartphone and completely surrender to the conversation, because it is much more pleasant to communicate with a person who looks at you, and not at the screen of the gadget. Otherwise, the interlocutor will simply decide that you are indifferent to his words and decide not to say anything at all.
  5. Train your ears. Start practicing "analytical listening" which will bring you back to the "natural state" in which the brain and ears are tuned to perceive all the sounds of the environment, while concentrating on the most important thing.
  6. Listen critically. Even in the most boring conversation, you can learn useful moments for yourself. To do this, instead of blindly discarding information that is not interesting for you personally, try to find interesting points in it that you will need in the future.
  7. To learn to listen, you should delve into the content, and not how a person presents information. During the conversation, try to get rid of the superiority complex by focusing on errors in speech. You must completely immerse yourself in the essence of what the interlocutor is trying to convey to you.
  8. Sit in a comfortable position. When talking, you should be in a comfortable position in order to feel completely comfortable. If the posture is uncomfortable and tense, the quality of auditory perception will automatically decrease.

The ability to listen will open up new horizons for you in communication, which will help to significantly improve relationships with family and friends, and will also expand your circle of acquaintances.

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