In social psychology, there are quite a few theories that explain the principles of choosing a partner. We will consider one of them – Moorstein's complex theory. According to this theory, the choice of a partner is carried out according to 3 factors: motivation, dignity and role.

In the phase of motivation, the attractiveness of the partner and the manner of his behavior play a significant role. We choose a person we like, but at the same time we rely on public opinion about certain qualities

In the phase of dignity, the focus of both partners is the similarity of interests, basic life values. At this stage, partners get to know each other, correlate their values ​​and attitudes with the interests of the other. If discrepancies are found at this stage, differences that are not compensated by any advantages, most often the partners disperse. It is believed that they did not suit each other.

In the third phase, partners try on roles, weigh whether it is possible in this union to realize complementary roles, thanks to which they will be able to satisfy their needs. This includes the similarity of characters, temperament (extrovert-introvert, sanguine-phlegmatic-choleric-melancholic, sexual temperament (the same need for sexual intercourse). The opposite of complementary traits is also evaluated, for example, the need for dominance and subordination, the desire of one to take care of the other and the ability of the latter to take this care.

It is very important that this exchange in a pair of lovers  be equal for both partners. For example, an unattractive woman may attract a handsome man with her care, ability to admire him, perhaps sexual activity. In turn, an ugly man can give a more attractive woman a stable financial position in return.

If there is no equivalent exchange in a pair of lovers, then problems inevitably arise. So, for example, if both are the first children in their families, then, most likely, problems will arise in the competition for power, for dominance. Or if the wife is a romantically sensitive person, and husband – asthenic-cold, he will not be satisfied with his wife's need for attention and affection. And the husband will not understand why all of a sudden claims arose against him.

So, you need to choose your partner consciously (not prudently, but consciously), then it is possible to avoid many problems, and create a strong, happy union two hearts.

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