Exclusively for estet-portal.com practicing psychologist Orest Shupenyuk shared practical recommendations on creating a happy family, as well as the reasons for the development of incompatibility and highlighted the problem of codependence.
Orest Shupenyuk graduated from the Kyiv National University named after. T. Shevchenko, Faculty of Psychology. He received a more in-depth education at the International Academy of Psychotherapy in Wiesbaden, Germany. In 2017, he completed the course of the Higher School of Psychology "Psychotherapy of sexual dysfunctions and marital disharmony".
Working methods used by Orest Shupenyuk include positive psychotherapy, Gestalt approach, cognitive behavioral therapy.
Principles of a happy family life
O.Sh.: Relations between a man and a woman are based on a simple principle: I want – do, don't want – don't.
Love, want and do – the basic principles of a happy family life.
In some cases, the situation “I don’t want to, but I do it” arises. You must check yourself whether the desire to be with a person remains. The man and woman in a relationship are not Siamese twins. If you question this fact – you need the help of a qualified psychologist.
If you can't deny yourself being with someone, then you need help.
Are there any partner incompatibilities
F.N.: Indeed, there are two types of incompatibility:
1. physiological
The main attraction to a person, sympathy, love is based on bodily sensation, sexual attraction and desire. Therefore, the physiology of the attraction of people to each other cannot be denied.
2. mental.
Mental incompatibility develops in a situation where partners have completely different values and outlooks on life.
When there are such reasons for incompatibility, it is extremely problematic to create a happy family, this task is almost impossible.
Actually, choosing a couple is very simple.
When a person enters the energy field of a potential partner at arm's length, he begins to clearly realize whether their compatibility is possible.
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Codependency – helper trap
O.Sh.: This problem occurs automatically if a person has certain psycho-physiological tendencies. The origins of the problem are connected with the primary desire to help, which subsequently transforms into codependency.
In such circumstances, a person tries to solve the problems of a truly addicted person from, for example, drugs, alcohol, games, etc. However, all attempts to help only worsen the pathological attachment and cultivate more problems.
This condition requires the help of a psychologist at the earliest possible stage. At a certain point, the victim of codependency becomes aware of his role and then an extremely destructive state of guilt appears.
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