Self-esteem – is a very important factor that affects the life of every person, his perception of the world around him, his attitude to life, success in his career and in his personal life. Low self-esteem can significantly harm a person and even lead to various mental illnesses. In this regard, Estet-portal recommends that you familiarize yourself with the information on how to increase self-esteem. So sit back, focus, and start building your self-esteem.
Low self-esteem can negatively affect all aspects of your life: relationships, work, health. Fortunately, steps can be taken to nurture it. Even if you have a low opinion of yourself since childhood, our 4 simple steps will help you improve your life.
Step 1: Identify difficult conditions or situations
Think about exactly what conditions or situations in life strike at your self-esteem. These typically include:
- failures at work;
- lack of satisfying relationships;
- family crisis;
- change in personal circumstances such as job loss, parental leave, etc.;
- tense relationships with people in the close social environment (friends, co-workers, relatives).
Step 2: Become aware of your own thoughts and beliefs
When analyzing difficult life situations, listen to your own thoughts about them. What matters is what exactly this situation means to you, and what place you occupy in it. What do you feel about yourself? Your thoughts and feelings can be positive, negative, or neutral. And also rational, that is, based on reasons and facts, or irrational, based on false ideas. All this affects your self-esteem.
Step 3: Challenge negative and destructive thoughts
What are your first thoughts – not necessarily the only correct view of the situation. Therefore, check the accuracy of your judgments. Ask yourself: “Are my ideas consistent with facts and logic? Are other explanations for this situation plausible?
Keep in mind that sometimes it's hard to admit inaccuracies in your way of thinking. Most people think stereotypically. It is these stereotypes that allow you to act automatically, without wasting energy on analyzing repetitive situations. Therefore, we often use established ideas about life and about ourselves. They can be quite adequate and correspond to the facts. But often these ideas are based on hardened opinions and misperceptions.
Pay special attention to the following points that destroy your self-esteem:
Mindset: "All or nothing." You see things in black and white, only good and only bad. For example: “I failed this task. So I – total loser!"
Mental filtering. You see only the negative and focus on it, distorting your opinion about a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake in the report, and now everyone will definitely understand that I'm not good enough for this job!"
Turning pluses into minuses. You reject your own achievements and all your positive experiences, crossing them out. Example: "I only wrote this test well because it was very simple."
"Jump" into a negative belief. You come to a negative belief with few or no reasons for it. For example: “My friend did not reply to my message. Most likely, I did something, and he is angry with me for it.
Mistaking feelings for facts. You are confusing feelings or beliefs with facts. “I feel like a failure. I must be the loser!
Self-deprecation. You underestimate, belittle yourself and use self-deprecating humor. This can happen as a result of an overreaction to a traumatic situation, such as a mistake. "I don't deserve anything better."
If you are thinking about how to increase your self-esteem, re-read the above points and try to delete them from your life forever.
Step 4. Adjust your own thoughts and perceptions
Now, replace the negative and destructive thoughts with correct and constructive ones. Apply the following strategies to boost your low self-esteem:
Encouraging statements. Treat yourself to kindness and self-encouragement. You know, thoughts are material. Your pessimism may invite trouble. For example, if you are afraid that your presentation will not go completely smoothly, you really run the risk of running into difficulties. Try to comfort yourself with something like "even if I make a mistake somewhere, I can still do it."
Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes. But – it is not a permanent characteristic of your personality, but only something that happens to everyone from time to time. Mentally "separate" yourself from error. Say to yourself, "Yes, I made a mistake, but that doesn't make me a bad person."
If you find yourself thinking "must" and "should" means that you have inflated demands on yourself or others. Remove these words from your thoughts and your expectations will become more realistic.
Concentrate on the positive.Think about the good things in your life. Remind yourself of what you've been up to lately. Take into account your skills that allow you to cope with life's difficulties. Change the labels on negative thoughts. No need to react negatively to negative thoughts. On the contrary, take them as signals for self-improvement.
Inspire yourself.Give yourself credit for creating positive change. For example, “My presentation may not have been perfect, but my colleagues asked questions and stayed engaged. So I have achieved my goal. These steps may seem a little awkward at first, but with practice they will become easier for you. Once you begin to recognize the impact your negative thoughts and beliefs have on your self-esteem, you will begin to not only take them into account, but actively resist them. And it will help you to accept yourself and your own importance as a person. As self-esteem increases, your self-confidence and subjective sense of well-being will increase. Estet-portal hopes that all people who are thinking about how to raise self-esteem will be able to cope with all the difficulties on the way to healthy self-esteem. Be successful and love yourself with Estet-portal!
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