10 глупых ошибок, которые мешают женщинам строить счастливые отношения

Any woman wants to be happy, and an integral part of female happiness is the presence of a beloved man nearby, who will always be support and support for her chosen one. Sometimes the fair sex does not act at the behest of the heart, afraid to be alone forever and fearing to appear miserable in the eyes of others. Others are too worried that a man will one day decide to leave, and such thoughts make them make stupid mistakes that kill relationships. Today estet-portal will tell you about what women's mistakes are an obstacle to the formation of a happy relationship.

Psychologist Laura Schlesinger hosts her own radio show. People call her to ask for advice, to ask a question, or to weep into her vest. After analyzing the complaints of her listeners, Laura described her impressions and thoughts on this topic in the book "Ten Stupid Mistakes Women Make to Ruin Their Lives".

We decided to briefly review each of them. As they say, forewarned – means armed. So let's go!

The first female mistake – stupid attachment to a person

It's unfortunate, but the success of any woman is still judged by the factor "does she have anyone". Of course, the opposite sex. As a result, poor women see themselves and their role in this life only through the prism of a relationship with a man. What this man will be usually doesn't matter.

This is all wrong! Wrong are those who live through force with a jealous, tyrant, alcoholic, drug addict, walking reproach – those who constantly betray, lie, behave impudently or indifferently. Often women, trying to prove their usefulness to society, marry the first person they meet precisely because of the fear that they will not be able to find anyone else.


The absence of a man is not an inferiority. Those who are "unlucky" in love or marriage have a hand in it. Therefore, learn to increase self-esteem and not humiliate yourself with unworthy relationships. It's time to learn from men courage, perseverance and self-confidence.

The second female mistake – stupid courtship

How many Cinderellas all over the world look sadly into the dirty windows of their closets in anticipation of a handsome prince, who, the trouble is, is still not there… They do, however, spot a handsome, grubby gardener uprooting stumps in a nearby garden.

If you have:

  • there is no confirmation of the correctness of your behavior;
  • has a tendency to say "thank you" to anyone who pays attention to you;
  • there is a habit to be content with what is offered to you, and not to choose what suits you personally;
  • meeting a man, there is a desire to shout to himself: "Hooray, I'm not alone anymore!" – most likely you are making the wrong choice.

Start a relationship with a man just to not be alone – escape from reality. And the question is not that a woman has too high expectations for her chosen one, but that they do not expect anything from themselves.

You shouldn't assume that a man is so emotionally stupid that he doesn't notice the difference between a situation where you need him and when you are just desperately trying to get in touch with anyone. Therefore, one should not be surprised that after this he begins to think that he was used, turned into a vest for tears, a bandage for a wound or a lightning rod for tantrums. Representatives of the stronger sex come into our lives to share it with us, and not to replace them.


Try to make your own choices about who you date and don't wait for someone else to choose you. You should not settle for what you have come across on the path of life. Try to survive the inevitable period of loneliness in this case, occupy your heart and mind with hobbies, books and meetings with friends until you wait for the only one with whom you can build a truly happy relationship. 

The third female mistake –  over-devotion

When a woman on every corner repeats "I love him!", She usually lies to others. And, of course, to herself. Such representatives of the fair sex refuse to admit that they are in a situation of obvious defeat. They gratefully (!) endure treatment that no man would tolerate for even 5 minutes.

Surprisingly, for most women, love is something beyond the bounds of reason. It is this model of behavior that is imposed on us by fairy tales in which clever and beautiful women fall in love with monsters and, pinching their noses, look for fleas in their tangled fur.

Have you noticed the disgusting double standards of modern society? The woman agrees not to notice the balding head, “beer” belly, a plaid shirt with a polka-dot tie from his chosen one… At the same time, each man, sharing his impression of a new acquaintance, will not miss the opportunity to blurt out to a friend: "She herself is fine, but her legs are a bit thick." Do you know why we put up with this, instead of making our own choices and being equally critical of men, without calling everything love? Because until now they have not gained self-confidence, in the absence of which it is impossible to build a happy relationship with a man.

While ranting "I love him" around every corner, you think to yourself:

  • I will never find anyone else who will tolerate me.
  • I don't want to be alone.
  • Better than nothing.
  • But it's better than before.
  • I'm already 19 (29, 39, 49, 59).
  • I don't think I'll find a better one.
  • It's not always bad.
  • I have no choice.
  • I know he needs me.
  • Facing the unknown terrifies me.
  • It's not as bad as people think.
  • Finding someone with whom it will be joyful and easy is very difficult.


Remember: when you kiss a toad, there is no guarantee that it will turn into a prince. But you are guaranteed to get a disgusting taste in your mouth and nasty memories in your memory. Do not confuse the feelings associated with a happy relationship with book promises or your own fantasies, sex – with love. Any feelings only distort reality. When evaluating a man, always use your mind. After all, until you learn to love yourself, true love will not exist. Take action and remember that you deserve the best!

The fourth female mistake – unjustified passion

Women and men have different attitudes towards sex. The fair sex perceives it too romantically, believing that "simple movements" impose some obligations on a man, and believe that they are sacrificing themselves, and therefore often demand reciprocal sacrifices.

With everything related to this side of the relationship, it is better to delay than to rush. Intimacy and sexual intimacy – Different things. Proximity – this is when you can talk to your companion about everything. Therefore, never do anything that you will not be able to talk to him about later.


No matter how old you are, sex should not be a measure of your worth and the value of your relationships with men. Hasty sex will lead to the fact that you will start to reproach yourself even more and indulge in even more despair, feeling completely alone.

The fifth female mistake – premature cohabitation

Any of us has repeatedly heard the opinion that "before the wedding you need to live together in order to get to know each other better", and not get a "pig in a poke" after the official marriage. But the cat is still there. According to statistics, the divorce rate among those who cohabited before marriage, compared to those who immediately go down the aisle, is several times higher!

Do you know why a woman agrees to cohabitation before marriage? This is a kind of capitulation: my man is afraid of "official" responsibility, and you need to meet him halfway. The fair sex move to the house of the chosen one not to find out what he really is, but to find some stability in the relationship and keep the man.

He thinks: "I need to see if I'm good with her every day", she thinks: "We need to make sure that he is good with me every day." Of course, such an installation will not be able to work for years, because both the first and second thoughts – utopia.


If you want to make a man respect yourself and build a happy relationship with him, in no case lower the bar of your requirements. If it does not meet the level you need, it is better to part with it.

The sixth female mistake – vain expectations

Are you amenable to reformation in your …twenty years? The same is true of a man. You should not hope that after marriage he will become different thanks to your precious influence. Instead of a fixed idea "I can fix it" you should master "What am I getting myself into?".

It often happens that the qualities that attracted us in the chosen one become disgusting after marriage. The secret is that we unconsciously look for the traits of our father in a man, we want to experience traumatic events from childhood in a different way or protect ourselves from the insults that were once inflicted on us. But he still turns out to be different, and you begin to hate him quietly, although in fact you hate yourself.


If you are getting married to protect yourself from childhood abuse, quit as soon as possible. The past cannot be replayed. If you are already married and at the same time hate your spouse, in search of the source of hatred, you should first of all look inside yourself. If you do not find the cause of your suffering, then you will jump out of marriage, hate and believe that all men without exception are flawed and happy relationships – this is a utopia.

The seventh error – stupid idea

Not love, not "the right moment of my life", not "everyone expects this from me", not proof "that you can too", not "I will force him to marry me", not "what else can I do ", and nothing else should be a reason to have a baby. The only reason – interest, ability and means to provide your child with everything necessary: ​​love, protection, material benefits.

Any other need is irrelevant. Only the needs of the child are important, because it is he who will have to pay for all your mistakes and problems. In this matter, always the main woman. Of course, a certain responsibility also lies with a man, but your body belongs only to you!


The decision of when and with whom to get pregnant should be considered.

The eighth female mistake – accompanying nonsense

When a woman acts contrary to her maternal instinct, it's terrible. Even in the wild, there is no creature more fierce than a female who protects her offspring. And people… Often women can afford to beat their children, to give them up to others, just so that their husband does not run away from them. There is a known case where a couple even sold their "untimely" child to start a business.


Remember: the child will not forgive you for not protecting him. Never allow anyone to harm your children, and even more so do not sacrifice them for the sake of a husband's happiness or an imaginary attachment to a person.

The ninth female mistake – imaginary helplessness

Little girls often get angry when something goes against their wishes. Where does this anger go when they grow up? Women cry, get offended, suffer, become discouraged and depressed just because they are afraid to show anger, do not want to offend or anger others.

Actually depression – this is a passive experience of the situation, while one active and short-term outburst of anger would be quite capable of solving the problem and setting boundaries beyond which your offender has no right to cross. Stop driving anger deep inside yourself, because scientists have proven that this only provokes various diseases.


There are painful moments in life, and overcoming that pain is the price you have to pay to build your character. Like any other person, you have the privilege, the right and the opportunity to be an individual. This does not mean that you need to jump on others, clattering your hooves. This means that you need to include yourself in the equation, but not as a remainder of an integer or a by-product of the calculus! Is it worth continuing to build a relationship with a man who is abusing you?

The tenth female mistake – angelic patience and forgiveness

The most patient creatures on earth are women. They are able to find a million reasons, just not to break off relations with a man unworthy of them. Have you often thought that a familiar swamp is still better than a swamp you know nothing about? Stop repeating "If I leave, I will be miserable." Of course, this is not out of the question. But at least you will have the opportunity to build your own happy future, which you are deprived of in "your swamp".


It's not worth living by the principle "How can I change this without touching it?". Look within yourself and find courage, independence and initiative. Be realistic! You always have a choice!

If you do not feel happy in a relationship with a man, feel free to break off such a connection, because trying to fix something that can no longer be restored – a stupid idea. Often women cannot decide to part because of an imaginary attachment to a person who, in fact, has long become a stranger or has always been like that. Listen to your heart, it knows exactly who you will be happy with, and the mind will tell you how to save this precious happiness. 

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