It can be difficult for women to understand what makes a man shy away from pronouncing the cherished words with a marriage proposal, which sometimes have to wait for years. Why don't even a few years spent together or special feelings and shared experiences bring you closer to the white dress and Mendelssohn's march? Girls often look for reasons in their imperfection or try to force things. Meanwhile, the reasons for this behavior of many members of the stronger sex lie in the characteristics of male psychology. Together with estet-portal.com, we offer to understand the main reasons that keep men from starting a family.
Bad childhood memories: problems in the family
Psychologists put forward this reason for unwillingness to bind oneself with family ties to one of the leading places. Difficult relationships between parents, frequent quarrels, painful atmosphere in the home can form a rather negative image of the family in the mind. Perhaps your chosen one brought far from rosy ideas about family life from his childhood. It is quite logical that he does not want to repeat the situation in his own family.
Of course, assurances that everything will be just fine in your family will not help the cause. Psychologists recommend in such cases to choose happy family for communication. couples. In this case, someone else's example will be more convincing than any words.
His own negative experience hinders him
Sometimes you can hear that a divorced man — an enviable groom, because he already has some experience in family relationships. Actually, the presence of such an experience often only indicates the infantilism of your chosen one, who may have initiated a divorce, failing to achieve success in creating a strong family union. Very often, it is these men who are in no hurry to propose a hand and heart. And their male psychology is easier to understand: who wants to repeat the same mistakes? And the likelihood of problems in a new family remains quite high, since men tend to choose women of the same type.
If he's just unsure of the choice
It is generally accepted that many machos value their independence too much, and that is why they do not aspire to marry. In reality, everything is a little more complicated. Perhaps before you is not an inveterate bachelor at all, but a normal representative of the stronger sex, who has a characteristic, purely masculine mindset and perception of the surrounding reality. Usually, lovely ladies literally in a few minutes after they meet can understand whether they are interested in a man, whether it is possible to build a relationship with him, or the “object” is categorically not suitable for this. And this is quite understandable: mother nature does not have much time left for a woman to create a family. And therefore, most girls who strive to create a family hearth have a well-developed intuition that allows them to quickly assess how a man matches their idea of \u200b\u200ba worthy life partner. The intuitive component of the male intellect is less pronounced, they do not have enough vague sensations. Their male psychology is such that in order to make a responsible decision, you need good reasons and enough time to clearly articulate them to yourself. And they definitely have nowhere to rush to get married, their biological clock runs at a different pace: a man, even after 40, can be "in demand" for a long time to come.
Male psychology: everything is wonderful, why do we need a registry office
This argument is increasingly heard by modern young women who, having despaired of waiting for an offer to register a relationship, decide on their own to have an important conversation. In response to a question about marriage, many men are sincerely perplexed: why all this fuss, because we are already very good together! & nbsp; Indeed, they have already received all the bonuses of a stable family life: care, attention, and — importantly — regular sex without the risk of catching some dangerous disease.
To be fair, we note that many men still agree to register a relationship if the girl becomes pregnant. But does the expectant mother need the wedding fuss associated with the inevitable stress?
Another reason to postpone registration of relations may be the closest circle of friends of your chosen one. If he is surrounded only by bachelors, quite satisfied with their lives, he now and then has to hear that there is absolutely nowhere to rush, there is still a lot of time ahead. Young men who are surrounded by married people are much more likely to marry.
Suddenly a more worthy bride will meet
Of course, a man will never say this directly, however, if he is looking for new meetings again and again, you can only thank fate for not linking your life with such a lover of diversity. Male psychology and the desire for polygamy inherent in men manifests itself especially clearly in this case, forcing them to rush in search of new relationships. What if a new acquaintance turns out to be an amazing lover or owns her grandmother's secret of making borscht?
Girls should know that committing their lives to such an adventurer only makes sense if they are willing to turn a blind eye to the highly likely adultery. So, you should carefully weigh the dubious prospect of endlessly sharing your spouse with his temporary hobbies.
Male infantilism: and at forty they are still boys
Did you pay attention to how old our grandparents were in their 20s — 25 years? It is enough to look through the album with old, yellowed photographs. It is impossible to believe that this young man with a stern and purposeful face — your grandfather's graduation. Modern men have the opportunity to postpone for much longer the need to take on serious responsibility, financially provide for their wife and children, and become the real head of the family. The immaturity of potential suitors is well known to most girls from personal experience.
To the credit of men, we note that they often postpone marriage precisely because they take this issue very seriously and are not entirely sure that they can become a real support for a future family or that they intend to create an appropriate base for this. Just listen to his reasoning, maybe he knows what he's talking about?
What if she is with me because of the apartment
The notorious "housing problem" spoiled not only Muscovites and male psychology has nothing to do with it. The problem with housing is pushing many girls from the provinces to find a husband with an apartment as soon as possible. This means that men who own the cherished square meters have an additional reason for doubt and distrust. If this is your case, then you certainly should not rush things. Lack of trust in relationships — more than a serious reason to think about their continuation. And you certainly shouldn't stoop to make excuses. Perhaps his feelings are not so strong if he is inclined to suspect his future spouse of such materialistic considerations.
Read also: How to understand that he is ready to marry
If his feelings are not strong enough
Perhaps, in our time it seems incredible, but many men really dream of real feelings, for which the size of the salary, the make of the car or the number of rooms in his apartment is not important. If your partner is thinking about finding a new life partner, it means that his feelings for you have faded away without flaring up. Don't get depressed or spend hours in front of the mirror trying to figure out what's wrong with you. Just let go of the situation (and, at the same time, the groom), perhaps very soon you will meet a man for whom your snub nose (freckles or naughty curls) will seem like just a charming highlight of your personality.
So, is your partner still in no hurry to take you down the aisle? Trust me, you are not alone in your problem. Modern girls increasingly have to take the initiative in this delicate matter. There can be many reasons, and some of them are quite worthy of respect. In any case, it makes sense to speak frankly, because omissions only complicate the situation. However, before looking for reasons in male psychology or asking a question about the date of marriage, it is worth considering whether there is true love between you? If the answer is negative, then you do not need the coveted entry in your passport yet. More interesting information about harmonious relationships in a couple can be found on the website estet-portal.com.
Read also: The life of a bachelor: how to understand that it's time to quit loneliness
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