It is not customary to talk about how those who seek medical help behave. Meanwhile, the inadequacy and rudeness of patients – the second most important reason (after high workload) forcing doctors to change jobs.
The object of psychological aggression is most often young professionals – it is they who have to hear the epithet "pigalitsa" addressed to them, doubts about the level of qualifications and statements like "I know better how to treat me." The fact is that boors have well-developed intuition and observation. They choose victims based on a position of strength: they feel with whom it is better not to mess with, and where they can prove themselves "in all their glory." That is why they primarily offend people who do not have sufficient self-confidence, with low self-esteem, a high level of upbringing and low tolerance for conflict situations.
However, sometimes even experienced and reputable specialists are attacked by unbalanced and aggressive patients, feeling unable to maintain their composure and relying solely on intuition and experience.
Conditions for successful rudeness
In order for rudeness to "take place", the boor must hurt something valuable and significant for the "victim" – appearance, intelligence, dignity. Otherwise, failing to push a person to the expected reaction, without causing indignation and resentment, the boor finds himself in a stupid position.
To gain the ability to rise above the situation, and not react to it "from the inside", you need to learn to look not at the inappropriate behavior of the boor itself, but at the reasons behind it. For example, do not respond directly to rudeness, but ask in a calm tone whether the offender felt better because he behaved in this way. The highest skill in communicating with a boor – give him the opportunity to free himself from feelings bursting from within without harming his own personality.
Rules against rudeness
1. Keep calm. Your confusion, tears, raising your voice or any other vivid emotional reaction – this is exactly what the abuser wants. Remember: the best thing you can do in response to an insult – it is to deny the boor the opportunity to see the manifestations of resentment and pain that he expects. Thus, you will devalue the insult and prevent the aggressor from achieving the goal: to feed on your energy.
Try to answer the boor calmly and confidently. State your point of view firmly and clearly. Do not shout over the boor and answer him in his own manner. Most often, the technique "the louder and faster the patient is rude, the slower and quieter I answer" turns out to be really effective.
2. Separate cause from cause. What gnaws at the boor from the inside and makes him behave in a certain way does not always lie on the surface and is realized even by him. Try to keep the possible causes of the patient's rudeness in focus.
Don't take his aggression personally. After all, the true reason for inadequate behavior may lie not in your incompetence or incompetence, but in the many difficulties and troubles that this unfortunate person faced in life – from mother's dislike in early childhood to a button just torn off in a minibus.
If you suspect that you're just being pissed off, your best weapon is a detached courtesy.
- Listen to the boor without interrupting;
- specify the essence of his claims; find out
- What actions do you think he needs to take to resolve the problem?
- thank you for participating;
- describe your own vision of solving the problem.
3. State the fact of rudeness. Sometimes, in general, normal people are situationally rude when, under the influence of circumstances, they deviate from generally accepted behavioral norms. On such a statement of fact "You are being boorish" acts like a cold shower.
Let the aggressor let off steam and tell him in a flat voice that what you have now had to listen to is outright rudeness and you do not intend to continue communication in this vein. Politely suggest that the boor change his tone or contact the management of the medical institution with a complaint about your refusal to work with a rude patient. Usually arrogance gets lost on the way to the office of the head of the department.
4. Call on a sense of humor to help. Do not take the attitude of a boor to yourself seriously. Treat the episode as an element of the comedy of the absurd. An ironic smile on your lips – really unexpected for a boor. She will mess up his plans.
If you are sure that the patient has the rudimentary sense of humor, you can respond to rudeness with a harmless but funny joke. Sometimes this allows you to defuse the situation. However, be careful – a bad joke can make things worse.
5. Early diagnosis of psychosis. It is important to distinguish a sane boor from an insane one. Patients in a state of alcoholic intoxication, insolent, psychopaths, persons with a highly excitable nervous system – are extremely difficult opponents, but, nevertheless, they are sane and must be held accountable for their actions.
It is worth distinguishing them from patients in a state of psychosis. These are not only persons registered in a psychiatric dispensary. Sometimes acute conditions develop rapidly, and the doctor should recognize the first signs of psychosis and urgently call a psychiatrist. Confused speech, unfocused actions, loss of orientation in time, space and self, an unhealthy gleam in the eyes should alert you. Try to calm the patient, leave the office under a plausible pretext and call a psychiatric emergency.
6. Be aware of the possibility of resorting to legal protection. Despite the fact that insults and rudeness towards doctors – a common phenomenon, they rarely bring the case to court. However, you have the opportunity to exercise your own constitutional right to protect your professional reputation. If you are ready to go through to protect your professional reputation:
- invite witnesses to the office (it is better to include other patients among them);
- turn on the recorder (by turning on the recorder, you need to properly record “I, Dr. Ivanov, am recording a conversation with the patient Petrov in order to protect my own rights”
- call law enforcement.
Having evidence of the offense committed against you, you can apply to the prosecutor's office.
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