Family life has a negative impact on many women — they stop caring for themselves, visiting all of themselves cleaning, washing, cooking and taking care of children. As a result, the once sweet little girl, fluttering like a butterfly in flowing dresses and miniature heeled shoes, turns into a wrapped woman in hooded gray outfits, who does not at all look like herself before marriage and the birth of babies. As a result, such changes negatively affect both the relationship with the spouse and the mental balance of the wife and mother. This phenomenon is called the "aunt" syndrome, which you can learn more about in the article.
Psychologist Anastasia Krasovskaya about the "aunt" syndrome and methods of dealing with this age-related disease
What is "aunt" syndrome
You will not read about the "aunt" syndrome in any medical reference book. Although in life it denotes a very real phenomenon: a state of despondency, grumbling, fatigue, multiplied by an extinct look, asexuality and unwillingness to dream. A kind of cocktail of negativity. And suffering from this disease, alas, there are a lot of us…
Somehow an "aunt" started up in me. Not right away. At first she "ran in just for a minute" to my light, reckless, but at the same time strong, confident "inner girl". This happened in the form of “out of nowhere” influxes of housekeeping, the desire for cleaning and washing. But most importantly — in the form of grumbling at the household, "that no one but me needs anything in this house." But the "inner girl" quickly expelled the overstayed guest. And it became easy and fun for everyone again.
However, after the birth of my son, the uninvited guest began to look at me more and more often, hiding under socially encouraged masks of a sense of duty and responsibility. After the birth of my daughter, the "aunt" moved in with me permanently. Rude and cynical. With all the belongings — sadness, blues, boredom, homeliness and excess weight.
She conducted an audit in the house and with a hard hand put the girl's wardrobe out the door and completely forbade wearing high-heeled shoes in a Peleven style. When I timidly offered to go to the lingerie store, the "aunt" was inexorable: "Where ?! My son has no overalls!".
Every day, she more and more boldly disposed of in the house, from which the children began to laugh less often, friends — to visit, and the husband to whisper all sorts of tenderness in your ear. But somehow, on a sunny spring day, something skipped a beat in my "inner girl": life became simply unbearable. Having bought high-heeled boots and dyed a fiery red color, I threw out of my house a vicious fat household "aunt" with her borscht, grumbling, fatigue and sense of duty.
And I wrote commandments for myself to combat the "aunt" syndrome:
Commandment 1: Do everything with ease and love
As the philosophers say, what's inside is outside. If you rejoice in the world, enjoy every minute of life, then outwardly you become beautiful, attractive: both for others and for good luck. Your good mood, like circles on the water, spreads to everyone who is nearby. Only "aunts" forget that happy mothers — happy children, happy wives — happy husbands.
Commandment 2: Elevate a woman's pleasures to the rank of life's essentials
Remember the song from the movie "Midshipmen Go!". "It's not a tricky secret to be born smart, A masculine mind — either exists or it doesn't. A woman's charm — is different, It's a matter of gain.." Chanel perfume, rhinestone thongs and a one-year subscription to Natalie? Femininity! Charm! Flirtatiousness! The power to drive you crazy! No "auntyness."
Commandment 3: I don't owe anything to anyone
The sense of duty ("I must", "I must") should be devoted to a whole series of psychiatry. A classic of the genre: I hate to cook (wash, clean), but I have to. And instead of simply giving up unloved things, we force ourselves, getting annoyed at everyone, turning into an embittered "aunt". Although “everyone” has nothing to do with it: they didn’t ask me to spend three hours in the kitchen to please them with a five-course dinner, did they? You need to get rid of the belief instilled in childhood that without a hearty borscht, the husband will run away, and the children will die of hunger! The heroine of the film “You never even dreamed of” to the tediousness of the class teacher: “My girl, when you grow up, you will have a husband. You will understand how good it is when a person has a sense of duty.” love knows how to manage everything."
Commandment 4: I don't care what people say. Main — what do i think of myself
And one should only think well of oneself. And if someone thinks otherwise — this is his problems. Only those who suffer from the “aunt” syndrome are worried about “what people say”. "Girls", like Kastanedov's warriors, "seek perfection only in their own eyes." Straight back, easy gait, raised chin: does anyone doubt that you — goddess, prosperous, flawless, happy woman? Not! And, by the way, they will gossip less later.
Commandment 5: High heels and sexy outfits even with babies — Yes! String bags and shapeless clothes, even in the absence of a husband — no!
Did you know that the largest number of lipsticks are… don't guess! Women of the Arab Emirates. For a long time I could not understand — why? They are wearing a veil! It turns out that everything is simple! Our women put themselves in order when they go out into the street, to work, to visit. With her husband, they go in dressing gowns, without hair, without makeup — in general, we know. And they have the opposite. For people, oriental ladies may not preen so much, but at home — with her husband and relatives — look like queens. Golden rule, right? Only women with the "aunt" syndrome say "no strength", "tired", "busy", "don't feel like it". "Girls" turn on fantasy, leaf through "Kama Sutra", engage in Tantra, Taoist sexual practices, Arabic dances.< Commandment 6: Women's Destiny — not to serve, but to inspire a man!My father used to say that husbands never leave wives who cook well and wash shirts well. He had three (!) spouses. Everyone cooked and washed well… He never understood a simple thing: a housewife and wife — it's not the same thing. First — preoccupied with housekeeping, with a ladle and in an apron. The second — knows how to "ennoble" life, become a muse, a source of inspiration, a family think tank, in the end — anything — only not "aunt"!
Commandment 7: I am, and that is enough for joy!There is no other like it, and there never will be! Agree, it is criminal to feel unhappy, to kill a unique individuality in yourself with everyday, often far-fetched problems and turn into a bore!
Having kicked out the uninvited guest, I began to love and rejoice again, sometimes doing crazy things and shopping. I can spend my last money in a beauty salon — without remorse for a half-empty refrigerator. The husband only said with feigned reproach: "Oh, these women!" and lovingly stroked my luxurious red curls. I go down the children's slide in white jeans with my son and draw with chalk on the pavement. Who said that adult women can't? "Aunt"?! I mentally stick my tongue out at her and go… rollerblading!
Based on cluber.com.ua
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