You expected that your husband would give you a diamond ring for the birth of your son, but he limited himself to a cheap cosmetic set. You've been postponing finances for a whole year to spend a well-deserved vacation in the Maldives (or at least in Turkey), and as a result, you were forced to limit yourself to a house in the country.
In a word, your man saves on you as much as he can, and is not at all going to give you expensive gifts.
But this situation can be radically changed, says the host of the cult training show "Actually, I'm smart, but I live like a fool", the author of the book "The Fool Wants to Meet the Two Higher Ones" Pavel RAKOV.
Everyone's Cash Deal: Fighting Attitudes and Calculating the Miser
So, why do men give some women gifts, while others forget to congratulate even happy birthday?
Reciprocal Use Rules. Many women explain this in a very mercantile way, believing that it is unprofitable for a man to give gifts. Vice versa! One of the human needs — be useful. We all use each other. Bee — flower, and that — bee. And there are many such examples in nature.
We all need each other for mutual use. And the more a man invests in a woman of effort, time, money, the more he gets in return.
Over the years, I have been tracking the stories of stingy men — all ended badly. It is surprising that those men who gave women more than 10% of their earnings seemed to buy themselves a fortune.
The more a man invests in gifts for women, the more he earns.
Programming laws. But sometimes a woman herself does not want to receive gifts. And the reasons for such psychological attitudes should be sought in childhood.
Some parents instilled in their children: "I give a gift, and you do something for it." When a girl becomes an adult, she does not want to receive gifts, because they will have to be worked off.
Or the gift is accompanied by a reproach: "I gave you, and you are so ungrateful." And she has a delay: it’s better not to receive anything, so that later you won’t be “ungrateful.”
It happens when simple ridicule discourages the desire to receive gifts. “Here, you can’t live without this gift, like some kind of flawed one.” And in childhood, everyone goes through a period of contradiction: “Is this something I can’t do without a gift? I don't need your handouts. And one more negative program remains for life.
Sometimes there are several such settings, which can be very difficult to remove.
Pathological greedy people. They are found among all social strata. But most often men are stingy with gifts due to a simple lack of money. Even if there is cash today, he is not sure that it will be tomorrow. That is, the point is not at all in female commercialism, but in male financial insolvency.
On the other hand, it's easy to be generous when you have nothing to spare. Such a gentleman can promise to throw the whole world at your feet. Do not fall for this bait, most likely he is just cheating on you.
How to spot a miser:
• sets financial goals, spins, but cannot reach a higher level of income;
• often complains about others, blaming them for his financial failures, that he was robbed, framed, etc .;
• unsure of the future.
Test your partner for greed. During the walk, say that you need to go to the store (but not to the pharmacy, otherwise he will think that you need hygiene products). A normal man will be waiting for you at the checkout to pay for your purchase, and a greedy person will defiantly talk on the phone, supposedly answering an urgent call.
Guess the wish: specific requests will help you get a gift
Gift giving — this is a manifestation of a man's love, and its receipt — willingness to accept it. A gift helps a woman to tune in to a romantic mood. And for a man, to completely strengthen his health: at the moments of realization, his testosterone increases and his tone rises. Tell him: "Your gifts — it's proof of love, because "I love you" everyone can say, but not everyone can prove their love.
Know how to ask.Speak the request several times to reinforce this skill. If you are generally uncomfortable with such questions, do the following. Go outside and ask any man you meet to give you, for example, a bouquet of flowers. It doesn't matter if he rushes to the flower stall or just twirls at his temple, — it is important that you were able to say it.
How to ask for gifts properly:• use special words pleasing to the male ear (please, you know best what I need, etc.);
• ask only in a good mood with a happy smile on your lips. Otherwise, your request will turn into a demand or a cry of despair;
Happy relationships and important feminine qualities • look straight into your eyes. It is very difficult for a person to refuse visual contact. It's easy to do it over the phone, but it's hard to make eye contact;
• be sexy and feminine — these are the main arguments that work effectively;
• come up with a reason. Many gifts are associated with holidays: if you explain that you have a holiday today or tomorrow, then the likelihood of receiving a gift will be higher.
Insinuate correctly.As you pass a shoe store, ask them to stop by for a minute and help you evaluate a pair of shoes you like. Further — a matter of technology. Your task is to try on shoes so feminine and erotic that he wants to look at it forever. Spin in front of him, then thank him and say that, of course, you like the shoes, but now you don’t have money to buy them — and leave the store so as not to create awkward pauses. The same evening you will have a new thing.
The more clearly you formulate your request, the easier it is to implement. To do this, you yourself need to clearly know what you want and not rely on the fantasy of a man. Especially wealthy, business people who value their time have no time to think about your needs. • Tell the man clearly what item you want and where it is sold.
• If a man does not have free time to look for the gift you want, tell him how much money you need for happiness, go to the store, return with the purchase and demonstrate it with a happy look, not forgetting to thank your loved one.
Refuse in advance… from a gift.Hack on your pretty nose: a man is not obliged to buy you anything at all. Ask him in such a mood that if he does not give you what you want, then nothing terrible will happen. Then he will not feel your dependence on gifts. And it will raise your rating in his eyes. • You can not demand, humiliate and beg. Exude calmness and confidence. They said calmly — and then let him worry.
Pin the result.Sometimes — the man sincerely agrees, but the next day he forgets everything. To prevent this from happening, as soon as the cherished “yes” has flown from his lips, gently take him by the arm and, looking into his eyes, lead him towards the window. Gifts Bringers: How to get a scarlet flower, not a thistle
Let's say the request is voiced and even heard by a man. But how do you tune him to the right wave so that he buys you a bag from Chanel, and not from a hardware store? It also requires a whole science.
Start small. Never refuse small presents.
Moreover, encourage men to make them and show your admiration in every possible way. For example, ask him to buy a chocolate bar. Having received it, be sure to admire his gallantry, let him taste the first piece. Do not forget to look erotically in the eyes.
If the man was satisfied, then next time you can ask for something more valuable.
Save the first movie ticket you went to together, or a rose petal given in the cold of winter. A photo taken during a trip together, or the same check from a restaurant can bring back fond memories and become the trigger that will lead to the purchase of new things.
Create difficulties.Remember how in the fairy tale about the scarlet flower, the merchant had to bring expensive gifts to his eldest daughters and a flower — junior. As a result, the difficulty of the location of the latter contributed to the brightness of his father's feelings. • The more a man overcomes difficulties, the more reverently he treats a woman.
• Ask him to get the "scarlet flower". These can be inexpensive items made to order from materials brought from another corner of our planet.
Work on raising your status.The more expensive you look, the more worthy gifts men will give you. You'll have to ditch cheap jeans and sweaters from your wardrobe so you don't get stuffed bunnies for your birthday. Gifts will match your status only if your image matches your behavior.
Women's task — learn how to spend a man's money beautifully
Any successful man can buy anything, but a woman is called to help him do it beautifully and unusually. Her task — spend money so that a man gets pleasure from it. And here you should remember about technical issues.Benefit.
Explain that the intended gift has a direct or indirect benefit. For example, a mink coat that you dream of getting for your birthday, on summer days, when the festival is supposed to be, costs half as much as in severe frosts, when it will be worn.
Serving his values may not be the easiest way to ask for gifts, but it promotes spiritual togetherness. So, say buying a suburban lot would be a good investment. By building a house on it, you can not only lead a healthy lifestyle, but also partially rent it out, which will allow you to recover the costs.
A man will always share your views if you are ready to serve his goals.
Ask generously. For example, explain that you always have a delicious dinner on the table by the time your loved one arrives, you need a slow cooker. Perhaps, during the conversation, he will suggest that you limit yourself to a food processor, but this will obviously be more than a whisk for whipping proteins that he himself purchased.
Accept credit cards. Remember a little psychological trick: it is easier for a man to part with a credit card than with cash. Therefore, do not exclude such a form of calculation.
Exchange Fund: thanks and compliments are accepted as a gift
Every rule implies an exception.Regarding gifts, the following applies: no gifts bought with your own hard-earned money can be given to men. You do not want to become his mother, or what is worse to turn into a gigolo? The most you can do for him is to give him a song, a dance, a romantic adventure. Handmade items are allowed.
Let's compliment each other.Learn to compliment. It happens that men, after exquisite compliments in their address, want to thank.
How to Compliment Professionally:• give compliments based on real facts, and for this, notice even the smallest achievements of your partner;
• admire the qualities of a man (successful, charismatic, strong, etc.).
• celebrate his merits;
• sincerely admire his loved ones, while remembering: for one compliment to a friend, make eight to your man so as not to cause jealousy. Compliment his parents more often;
• admire accessories that emphasize masculinity. Compliment his car, apartment, house.
Be grateful.This is — the most important thing to learn in order to receive gifts. When you experience gratitude, biochemical processes take place that have the strongest attractive effect. And feel grateful before receiving a gift — this is the main task for you to receive them always throughout your life.
Gratitude can be compared to charity.Give thanks to every man just like that, free of charge, without expecting anything in return. And then your life will be filled with even brighter colors.
Exercise.Call all your ex-boyfriends and thank everyone for the nice moments you spent with them. Give thanks for the life lessons they taught you. And you will feel how your body is filled with vitality. This is gratitude.