Meeting new people is sometimes terrifying and gives rise to a bunch of thoughts in my head: “Will this person like me?”, “What if I say or do something wrong?” How to have a conversation, "How to make a good impression" etc. Any person will like the skill – An invaluable skill that helps build the relationships you need in every area of your life. Robin Dreek, head of the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Program, has been studying interpersonal relationships for 27 years. Estet-portal.com will share with readers the advice of an experienced expert, thanks to which you will learn how to please any person.
The first thing to do to please any person
To please any person with whom you communicate for the first time, you must learn to listen to his thoughts and point of view without judging the interlocutor. Ask questions, listen, but don't judge – no one likes this, including you.
It is not at all necessary to agree with the opinion of the opponent. What to do if the latter starts to talk nonsense? Do not rush to condemn, emphasize wrongness, say that you are interested in the opinion of the interlocutor, that you hear about this for the first time and ask to explain to you how the person came to such a conclusion.
So you will show interest and give the person the opportunity to talk about their favorite topic, that is, about yourself, your beloved. Is it difficult for you to endure such a monologue? Then proceed to tip #2.
Put your ego out of the way to please anyone
If you are one of those who simply cannot remain silent, having calculated an error in words, judgments, conclusions of any nature, you will have to work on yourself. Do you want to shine with your mind or learn how to please any person? Take your pick because the two are overwhelmingly incompatible.
To quiet the ego means to put your desires, needs and opinions aside. Learn to consciously suppress the desire to correct the mistake of the interlocutor. When people hear something that contradicts their beliefs, the logical part of the brain shuts down to give way to the fight-or-flight part of the brain. The person automatically enters "fight mode".
Be a good listener – be able to please anyone
Tip: stop thinking about what you will say next and focus on what the other person is saying to you. Be careful, ask the person.
- Listen to the person, do not interrupt him, do not express your disagreement.
- Nod your head, show your attention briefly: "yes", "uh-huh".
- Repeat the essence of what was said from the point of view of the interlocutor.
- Ask – this confirms that you are really listening to the interlocutor, develop the conversation.
Not all people and topics are equally interesting, but try to find at least a grain of information that interests you.
What are the best questions to ask to please any person?
Each of us in life faces certain difficulties. And to please any person, ask him about the difficulties that are encountered on his life path. Ask the other person about difficulties at work, raising children, etc.
However, the most powerful way to influence a person – ask him for advice. Not pressure, not service, namely advice. And the sincerely you want to get advice, the more chances for success. If you fail to convince your opponent of the sincerity of your intentions, it will be very difficult to rehabilitate yourself.
To please any person, let him feel free
To make the person relax, tell him that you are going to leave soon. Knowing that an unfamiliar interlocutor will soon leave, a person relaxes. The answer to the question "How long will this conversation last?" he receives without having time to ask it. It will also be useful to ask the interlocutor if he has time to talk with you. No one wants to be stuck talking to a stranger. Many people are friendly, but they need to feel safe and in control. It is much easier to please any person if you make him feel comfortable.
Goal – to please any person, means – body language
It is impossible to please any person if your words and body language are discordant. How to achieve harmony between the language of words and body?
- Smile. A (sincere) smile inspires confidence.
- Chin down, don't look down with your nose up.
- Tilt your head slightly (don't overdo it or you'll look like a paraplegic).
- The body should also not "look" point-blank at the interlocutor. The body in relation to the interlocutor must be at a certain angle.
- Don't put your palms down while talking. They should look up, as if speaking for you: "I accept what you tell me."
- Try to show openness with your whole body: do not purse your lips, do not frown your eyebrows, do not squint your eyes – at the subconscious level, such micro-movements are repulsive.
What should you do if you notice that someone is testing the above and/or other tips, causing distrust?
If you feel that someone is trying to manipulate you, directly ask the interlocutor what he wants from you. You can tell a person something like: “I see that you know how to win over an interlocutor. However, I would like to know what is your ultimate goal? What are you trying to achieve? Perhaps I can help you.
Estet-portal.com considers the above tips to be really useful, but don't forget the main thing: if you want to please any person, focus on trust, and not on psychological tricks and tricks. Be sincere and benevolent!
Add a comment