Even if you are not looking for a serious relationship, the feeling that no one is flirting with you can be depressing. Do you experience a lack of attention and coquetry from the opposite sex? We tried to understand the behaviors that indicate the manifestation of personal interest, and put together recommendations that, following which, will increase your flirting factor.
Are you sure you're not being flirted with?
Sometimes people think that coquetry should be obvious. In fact, flirting is usually a more subtle thing. Consider several behaviors that (especially when combined) indicate a manifestation of personal interest in your person.
Desire for intimacy. A person is standing in your field of vision, closer than 1.5 meters away from you.
Long glances. He/she looks into your eyes for more than half a second and then quickly looks away.
A real smile. He smiles sincerely (with wrinkles at the corners of his eyes), and then again looks away.
Addressing you. He/she leans towards you while speaking, with the toes of both feet "looking" in your direction.
Inappropriate questions. He or she asks you questions inappropriately. For example, when handing you papers, he asks in a soft low voice: "How are you, Masha?", and waits for an answer, looking into your eyes.
Playfulness, banter and teasing.
Physical touch. Including hugs that last longer than standard hello-farewells, touching shoulders, arms, face, brushing non-existent dust particles or wiping cappuccino foam from lips.
Compliment. Praises about appearance ("Beautiful dress!") or personal qualities ("It's a pleasure to communicate with you!").
Of course, such behavior may be due to the characterological features of your interlocutor or be a manifestation of elementary courtesy. However, very often this is an indicator that they are flirting with you. And if you noted a combination of several behavioral patterns listed above, the interlocutor is almost certainly interested in you.
Men and women flirt differently. It is also worth paying attention to the gender characteristics of flirting. A woman most often flirts "passively", demonstrating her own sexuality. She adopts an open pose (shoulders laid back, chest forward), her head tilts slightly to the side. If you are sitting with her, for example, on the same sofa or in chairs arranged in a row, her entire body or at least her knees will be turned in your direction. Twisting strands of hair, demonstrating ankles and wrists, swaying a half-removed shoe on the toe of the foot – clear evidence of sexual interest shown to you by the interlocutor.
Signs of male flirting:
he actively demonstrates his own masculinity: he puts his hands in his pockets or behind his belt, emphasizing the genital area with a pose, speaks in a slightly lower voice;
trying to occupy as much of the surrounding space as possible: standing in a wide position, stretching out his arms on a neighboring chair, etc.;
at the table shows a healthy appetite;
is active – teases and makes fun of you a little;
becomes a gentleman: opens the door for a lady, helps put on a coat, etc.
Rules for successful flirting.
1. Clothing. Wear moderately alluring clothing. Not too frank or flashy – vulgarity looks cheap and rather repels the opposite sex. A fitted silhouette in most cases looks more attractive than a hoodie dress, and high-heeled shoes are more attractive than rough boots. Dress neatly or deliberately casually – but in any case, your clothes should emphasize the dignity of your appearance, reflect your personality and fit the occasion.
2. "Reflection". Staying in the zone of natural, comfortable behavior for you, try to be on the same wavelength with the interlocutor, reflecting his/her energy level and mirroring postures and gestures. Do not go beyond the seriousness and intellectuality of your conversation – you should not philosophize if you are spoken to in a light joking manner, or vice versa - inappropriately joke during an intellectual conversation.
3. emotional distance. The art of "little small talk" is by no means of little importance. Everyone knows that the first phrase about the weather or about the event you just attended lets the interlocutor know that you are interested in communicating with him. Trying to get close too quickly can turn most people off. Even those who crave intimacy.
4. Voice. Strive for moderation in the volume and tone in which you speak. Vary the pitch, volume, and pace of speech just to keep your companion's interest. Both theatricality and dullness should be avoided. Inexpressive and slurred, or vice versa - too fast or too loud speech disappoints the interlocutor.
5. The manner of speaking. Conversation is like a game of ping pong with each person talking half the time. Try to keep your statements no longer than one minute. This will maximize the involvement of both of you in the conversation.
6. The ability to listen. Learn the technique of active listening. Pay attention to what and how your interlocutor says. Nod, repeat certain phrases, clarify. Let's get some feedback – Don't be afraid to smile and frown when necessary. The interlocutor should feel: You care about what he/she says.
7. The practice of mutual disclosure. Encourage the interlocutor to have a confidential conversation. If he/she opens up to you about something personal, tell him/her your secret as well. By doing this, you "equalize the score", make it clear that you can be trusted, which will lead to an increase in the degree of intimacy between you. The only clarification – do not rush (see point 3) and do not try to open something very deep and emotional. After all, revealing our deep personal thoughts and feelings to a person, we become emotionally attached to him. You should not fall in love before you realize that the counterpart is not indifferent (not indifferent) to you.
8. Positivity. Demonstrate a positive attitude to life, to the world and to the interlocutor. Excessive criticality harms nascent relationships. If half of your statements – complaints or criticisms – communication with you will most likely disappoint the interlocutor.
9. Pause. If you're interested in taking the relationship beyond meaningless flirting, there's no need to invent something incredible. Just invite him or her somewhere within a few days of your communication. "This movie was recommended to me. Would you like to join me on Friday?" Don't do it immediately. Otherwise, your chosen one (chosen one) will decide that he is too good for you, you are knocked down by his (her) magnificence or are in a state of despair. A couple of days of "respite" is very sobering.
Of course, people don't always behave predictably. And our recommendations do not automatically guarantee the achievement of results, they will simply significantly increase your chances of being successful in communicating with the opposite sex. And although it is impossible to exclude the possibility of disappointment, the fear of failure – no reason to give up flirting in your life. After all, as you know, who does not take risks...
Source estet-portal.com
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