We all know very well that self-esteem plays an important role in our lives. How objectively and, accordingly, correctly we can evaluate ourselves can help us get rid of shortcomings or, on the contrary, – become a deterrent to self-development.
In order to properly evaluate yourself, you must use the right criteria. The basis on which our self-esteem is formed is as important as choosing the right means of measuring length, volume or weight.
That's why we decided to tell you about the typical erroneous criteria for evaluating yourself. Check – perhaps the reason for your low or high self-esteem lies in the wrong approach to its formation.
So, what should not be taken into account when evaluating yourself?
1. Your surroundings
There are two different types of people depending on the evaluation of others. One category of people tend to think that their value depends on the amount of praise they receive from other people. People of the other category feel good only when they are in a relationship.
And there are people who increase their self-esteem by surrounding themselves with people of high social status. They are overly proud of being able to communicate with the "important" personas. A minute-by-minute social calendar and an endless list of personal contacts help them feel valued.
However, if you form your self-esteem based on what others think of you, – it's like chasing a moving target. You can't control other people, and it's impossible to please everyone. Therefore, if your self-esteem is based entirely on how others perceive you, you will never be able to get enough praise or positive reinforcement to feel good about yourself.
2. Your official position
It is a career that often helps many people feel their worth. A person simply bursts with pride when he says "I am a co-owner of such and such a company" or “I – lawyer”. However, she bursts him not because of what a person does, but because of what position he occupies.
Evaluate oneself according to one's official position – it's a big risk. Why? Because health problems, an economic crisis or an unexpected change in the job market can ruin your career and lead to an identity crisis. Even a planned retirement can suddenly lower your self-esteem if your self-awareness is closely related to your official position. In the absence of a prestigious career, your self-esteem will no longer be the same.
3. Amount of money
You must have met a person at least once in your life whose self-esteem directly depended on the amount in his bank account. Sometimes people think they just can't get the amount they need to feel valued enough. In a desperate attempt to prove their worth, they create the appearance of wealth by going into debt to buy themselves an expensive car or a luxury home. And then they feel successful.
Although setting the monetary value of goods and services – this is logical, for determining one's value as a person, such an approach is absolutely wrong. The amount of money you earn or the wealth you own will never be enough to satisfy your need to feel worthy.
4. Your achievements
Sometimes people want to be famous for their accomplishments. However, a person who uses this criterion for self-assessment feels good only when he talks about his successes. The danger of this approach to self-esteem also lies in the fact that failure is very hard on their self-esteem.
Of course, it's okay if you feel good about your accomplishments, but measuring self-esteem by such accomplishments – completely wrong. It's like building a house on a dilapidated foundation. In this case, you will have to be constantly successful in order not to feel like a failure. And this is simply impossible.
5. Your appearance
The numbers on the scales and the ability to attract members of the opposite sex due to their appearance – a typical mistake in self-assessment. The media is pushing into our minds the false truth that the appearance – this is perhaps the most important thing on which our success depends. Marketing strategies are often based on our self-doubt, they exploit any weakness – from the first wrinkles to extra pounds.
If nature has rewarded you with an attractive appearance, this can serve as an advantage in life. However, remember that beauty is not eternal. And gray hair, wrinkles, hair loss and other signs of aging in the first place will be devastating for those whose self-esteem was built on external beauty.
What you base your self-assessment on as a person will be a major factor influencing the decisions you make, the thoughts that pop into your head, and how you feel about yourself.
Therefore, remember that the use of external factors that are beyond your control to form self-esteem – this is the wrong approach. It is important to know who you really are. This will help you act in accordance with your personal values instead of succumbing to a changing world.
Source estet-portal.com
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