Psychology – the science is not exact: psychologists are still debating the role of the mind-body connection in emotional reactions, have not compiled a complete taxonomy of emotions, and cannot reach a consensus on whether emotions are the cause or the result of the perception of the world.
However, in terms of understanding the concept of managing emotions – the process of influencing the perception and expression of emotions – psychologists were able to develop a certain strategy.
James Gross – a psychologist at Stanford University proposed a model for managing the sequence of events that occur when emotions are stimulated. According to this modal model, the situation attracts our attention, as a result of which we evaluate the current situation.
Our emotional reaction depends on the outcome of this assessment.
Emotional reaction to situations
Some emotional reactions are normal and do not require some control. If the emotion fits the situation and makes you feel better, don't worry.
It's not always easy to calm down when you're angry. If you are one of those people who can't control themselves when irritated, your emotions can cost you important relationships, work, and even health.
The inability to manage emotions, according to Gross and his colleague Hooria Jazaieri, is a major cause of mental disorders such as depression and borderline personality disorder.
Fortunately, you can handle most of the work of managing your emotions before an unpleasant situation arises. If you prepare in advance, you will see that the problematic emotion will disappear before it can harm your life.
1. Choosing a situation. Avoid situations that make you feel unwanted emotions. If you become irritable (irritable) when in a hurry, try to do everything in advance. If you are annoyed by any person, try to keep your communication to a minimum.
2. Changing the situation. Let's take disappointment as an example. If you constantly want to achieve the best results in anything, and do not cope with the task properly, you are disappointed in yourself. The reason for this disappointment is the excessive demands. Of course, some people are hardened and spurred on by failure, but if you are not one of those people, try to move towards success in small steps and focus on what you do best.
3. Switching attention. If you tend to focus your attention on people, comparing yourself to whom you feel inferior (inferior), this can negatively affect your mood and self-esteem. Try not to waste your energy and nerves on envy and thoughts that you will never be able to be equal to such people. Better focus on what you are doing, and over time you will be able to improve in the desired area.
4. Changing thoughts. At the bottom of our deepest emotions lie the beliefs that cause them to arise. You feel sad when you lose something, you get angry if you don't achieve an important goal, and you feel happy (happy) when something good happens. If you think differently about a particular situation, you will be able to influence how such a situation affects you.
During cognitive reappraisal, you replace thoughts that make you unhappy (unhappy) with thoughts that make you feel happy and satisfied.
5. Changing your reaction. If you can't avoid a certain situation, change it, switch your attention or change the thoughts that arise about it, and an emotion you don't need breaks out, try to control your reaction. Your heart may simply jump out of discomfort when you are worried or angry. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and try to calm down. Gather all your strength into a fist and try to change your mood.
The five methods above help control emotions in different ways, depending on the specific problem situation. Knowing the causes of certain emotions will help you avoid problems. The ability to change your thoughts and emotional response will help you believe that you can take control of yourself. Of course, not everything is so simple and the first time you may not be able to control your emotions, but over time you will succeed.
Source estet-portal.com
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