Have you met a passive-aggressive person in your life? It is difficult to communicate with such people, especially if they are your relatives, family members, etc. How should you behave when communicating with a passive-aggressive person, build a personal relationship with him? In fact, there are several actionable recommendations about this. You just have to choose an effective method and use it in everyday life.
The first thing to do is:
1. Recognize passive-aggressive behavior in time
It's actually very easy to overlook signs of passive aggression if you've been interacting with the person for a relatively short time. Yet we often give people a chance to show their best side. However, it is necessary to pay attention to the following signs characteristic of passive-aggressive people who are prone to:
- insert sarcastic remarks;
- don't keep promises;
- seek all sorts of excuses for yourself;
- avoid conflicts by any means;
- do not express your feelings and desires;
- agree with others, just to avoid upsetting them;
- constantly late;
- to be afraid of competition;
- to be afraid of addiction;
- sabotage unpleasant work;
- create chaotic situations.
While giving people a second chance is the right thing to do most of the time, it's important to take a closer look at the person if they show signs of passive-aggressive behavior that bothers you.
2. Learn the story of a passive-aggressive man
In order to understand the causes of passive-aggressive behavior, it is necessary to know such a person. Most likely, you will not be able to change such people, because this is part of the scope of the tasks of the relevant specialist.
In normal friendly conversations, ask clear, nonjudgmental questions about the passive-aggressive person's life to learn about possible (repressed) sources of their anger, hostility, or resentment. Passive-aggressive behavior often occurs when a person feels powerless in a challenging environment. In the case of a strong negative experience, a passive-aggressive person is afraid to get into a problem situation again and uses a number of coping and resistance strategies in order not to fall victim to such situations or people.
It is also worth noting that that some passive-aggressive people show their negative behavior more at home, and some more at work. Some may show their repressed anger towards everyone around them, and some towards the opposite sex, bosses, etc. Since the true causes of pathological passive aggression are complex, it is likely that it will not be possible to fully understand them, but even a partial understanding can be beneficial.
3. Don't be the cause of passive aggression
Many passive-aggressive people often choose a partner with whom they can re-experience past power struggles based on a subconscious desire to win in situations in which they have failed in the past. This means that if you are the partner of a passive-aggressive person, it is important to avoid behavior that can activate the passive-aggressive person's worst instincts.
Ask yourself if you encourage passive-aggressive behavior in the other person? Are you acting in the relationship as:
A) passive sufferer: if you do not set clear boundaries of behavior and silently tolerate a passive-aggressive person;
B) babysitter/savior: if you constantly correct your partner's mistakes, pull him out of unpleasant situations and solve his problems;
C) Mentor and Judge: You become a critic of your partner, constantly reminding him of the need to change for the better and setting requirements that he can never meet.
4. Use your sense of humor
Humor is a powerful communication tool. When used correctly, humor can shed light on the truth, disarm a difficult interlocutor, and demonstrate your exceptional self-control.
5. Give the passive-aggressive person the opportunity to help solve the problem
Many passive-aggressive people behave this way because they think they don't have a voice or that they are not being listened to. If appropriate, include this person in the discussions or problem-solving process. Ask how the person himself would behave in such a situation. In any case, listen to the person and say that you will have their point of view in mind.
6. Push the person to cooperate
Because passive-aggressive people are covert, they will almost always resist attempts to control their behavior. Regardless of what they say, announce what you are going to do next. It is important that you provide some compelling examples of consequences to encourage the passive-aggressive person to reconsider their behavior.
The ability to identify and articulate consequences is one of the most useful skills to help counter passive-aggressive behavior. Awareness of the consequences causes a passive-aggressive person to change the opposition to cooperation.
Although relationships with a passive aggressive person are difficult and not always pleasant, there are many effective skills and strategies you can use to achieve cooperation with a passive aggressive person.
Estet-portal wishes you to find a common language with any people!
Source estet-portal.com
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