Parental mistakes in raising children eventually affect many aspects of a child's life. Of course, everyone has their own methods of upbringing: some parents take the advice of their mothers and fathers as the basis for educational work, some prefer to follow the advice of psychologists, there are those who believe that they do not need the advice of outsiders. However, no parent is immune from mistakes in education. Estet-portal.com presents to your attention a list of the most common mistakes that mothers and / or fathers make.
Common parenting mistakes and their consequences
Problems of a psychological nature that manifest themselves in adulthood often begin in childhood – all psychologists agree with this. The common mistakes of parents described below are often the source of serious problems for an adult child. To get acquainted with the above information will be useful not only for future fathers and mothers, but also for every person – perhaps it was one of these errors that caused the existing problems. Accordingly, understanding the reason – the key to their solution.
- Threats
Parents often resort to intimidation, threats and accusations against their child, mistakenly believing that this method of education will serve as an incentive to achieve success. But is it? Not every kid succeeds in getting rid of the fear of punishment and failure. Therefore, children often carry the fear of failure into adulthood. As a result, as an adult, the child doubts his abilities, does not show initiative, and is generally afraid to act independently. Naturally, this does not mean that the baby should get away with everything – not at all. It is necessary to explain what the child’s fault is, and direct him on the true path, excluding violence (both physical and psychological).
- Inconsistency
If in a good mood the parent allows the child more, but in a bad mood – less, it will at least confuse the child. How can a kid navigate what is allowed for him and what – no, if the mood of the caregivers changes three times a day? Try to control yourself and be consistent in your beliefs.
- Inconsistency
If mom allows and dad forbids (or vice versa), the maximum you can achieve – the child will learn to manipulate family members and get what he wants. And the parents themselves will constantly quarrel.
- Unreasonable bans
This mistake of the parents is fraught with the fact that the child will begin to hide his actions, not understanding why he still cannot do this. It is important that each prohibition be supported by a logical explanation – so the baby will understand that his actions can harm him or others.
- Overprotection
Caring about the safety and well-being of the child, parents sometimes cross the line of reason and literally do not let the child set foot on his own. The consequences of such a mistake in adulthood can be catastrophic – difficulties in communicating with people, lack of personal opinion, neurosis, inability to live independently. It is important to teach the child to cope with difficulties (whether it is tying shoelaces, drawing or other activities) from an early age, listen to his opinion, push him to make decisions, gently guiding him in the right direction.
- Extremes
Excessive demands or pampering, according to psychologists, is not the best method of education. In the first case, such a parental mistake is fraught with stubbornness, insecurity and irritability; in the second – selfishness and inability of the child to life. The best option – the golden mean: you need to be able to explain to the baby why he did wrong; punishment for serious misconduct must be justified; petty pranks or errors can be forgiven; the fulfillment of every whim of the child is also unacceptable.
- Lack of caress
A child needs to know that he is loved. Do not be afraid to show affection for the baby, but do not turn it into a duty, forcing you to kiss or hug yourself forcibly. Everything should come from the heart.
- Implementation of your plans
Very often, parents who failed to realize their dream in life force their child to do it instead of them: dancing, football, knitting, music lessons, etc. up to the choice of profession. The child may be small, but he has his own dreams and desires – These are the ones you should be focusing on. Otherwise, the child may hate what he does for the rest of his life.
- Lack of attention
To support a family nowadays, in most cases both parents have to work. However, shrugging off money from a child is wrong. In order for a child not to feel unwanted and unloved by anyone, it is imperative to spend time with him, listen to his problems and help in solving them.
- No personal example
One of the main mistakes of parents is that they try to teach their child one thing, while they themselves do something completely different. Remember that parents – number one authority for any kid. If you want to teach your child good things, try to match your words with your actions.
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