An effective conversation is good because it helps two people in the process of communication to solve certain problems, misunderstandings and eliminate other inconsistencies. However, not everyone has the ability to communicate effectively. What are the most common mistakes that prevent people (including loved ones) from communicating with each other and understanding their problems, as well as how to make a conversation with an interlocutor as useful as possible – the main topics of this article, which contains tips for improving the effectiveness of the conversation.
If you notice that your conversations with the interlocutor, especially with your partner, are increasingly starting to turn into screams and scandals, and instead of calmly solving the problem, you stop talking to each other altogether, it's time to think about what needs to be done to make your dialogue more efficient and less stressful.
Rob Kendall, author of "Blamestorming: Why Conversations Go Wrong and How to Fix Them" provides five valuable tips that will be helpful those people who have problems in communicating with the interlocutor.
5 steps to effective conversation
Step One – think before you speak. There is no doubt about the banality of the first step. However, as practice shows, theoretical knowledge of this truth is not enough for the conversation to succeed. Often people answer the first thing that comes to their mind, and the essence of what was said and how the interlocutor perceives it, reaches them only after, when it is no longer necessary.
Step Two – Focus on problem solving, not blaming. If you are just "drawn to make a scandal" to throw out emotions, this is one thing. However, if the purpose of your conversation is still to solve the problem, remember that you and the interlocutor – one team whose efforts must be directed towards achieving a common result, and not on meaningless quarrels and disputes that will not solve anything.
Third step – try to avoid the phrase "yes, but…". By itself, the phrase "yes, but & hellip;" beloved by many sets the interlocutor to the fact that you ignore his point of view and impose your own. In this case, "yes" means that you want to make your opponent believe that you take into account his needs, however, the particle "but" indicates that in fact you absolutely do not care about his offer, because you will do it anyway -to his own.
Step four – rely on real facts. Like it or not, strong emotions can twist the facts in our heads. Therefore, generalizing the situation in a conversation and simply saying that everything is bad is not worth it. It is better to think about whether the scale of the problem in question is so great. If something does not suit you, justify why, try to reasonably explain what the problem is and what needs to be done to fix it.
Step Five – take breaks. You probably know that often the detailed debriefing that you conduct during three-hour conversations can exhaust anyone. Therefore, the longer the conversation lasts, the more irritable both participants become. Therefore, do not forget to go out into the fresh air, drink some water or just clear your head. This does not mean that you are moving away from the conversation, just that in order to continue the discussion more rationally, you need to collect your thoughts.
Estet-portal hopes that the above tips will help you ensure that you have the necessary conditions for an effective conversation with an interlocutor who will help you solve the problem without being sprayed into unnecessary quarrels and accusations.
Source estet-portal.com
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