According to psychologists, many people have a paradoxical desire to feel unhappy, and many of the fair sex simply love to suffer. This is how they manage to feel safe, to be inside their comfort zone. In a conversation, they certainly complain about life, unconsciously trying to evoke a feeling of pity and compassion, they talk about events and circumstances as if they were a continuous series of misfortunes and hardships. The destructive mania to consider yourself an unfortunate victim can become a significant obstacle to becoming a real mistress of your life. Together with estet-portal.com, we propose to study the signs that indicate that you love to savor suffering too much and it’s time for you to stop.
Why do you seek to evoke feelings of pity: positioning yourself as a victim
None of us can foresee all the problems, sorrows and troubles that lie in wait for us on the path of life. But how we react to difficulties and hardships – it is entirely up to us. If you are deeply convinced that only external circumstances are to blame for all your problems, which you cannot resist, this, of course, is your choice. Such a position is indeed very convenient, because by voluntarily agreeing to the role of a victim, you refuse more or less effective actions and actions that could help you solve your problems. It does not occur to a girl who considers herself a victim and is trying to arouse a feeling of pity, to calmly and objectively rethink problem situations, to conduct an internal "debriefing",
Plunging into our negative emotions and blaming others for our hardships, we voluntarily lay down our arms and refuse to make constructive decisions.The need to evoke a feeling of pity directly depends on the state of constant anxiety
At first glance, it may seem that the habit of living in a state of permanent anxiety – it is just an attempt to control the circumstances of one's life and anticipate possible problems that may arise in the future. However, in reality, this approach to life rarely leads to a positive result. But the habit of seeing everything exclusively in gloomy colors and waiting for new troubles can seriously ruin your life. Living in constant fear of unsolvable problems that may not arise, you deprive many of the joys of life. Psychologists strongly recommend tackling real problems as they come, instead of tormenting yourself with unfounded fears. It should be remembered that the state of Feelings of Pity: You feel sad when you compare yourself to others
This problem affects a huge number of people, because we always, consciously or not, compare ourselves with other people. We notice a neighbor with a new, insanely expensive fashion handbag and are upset if we cannot afford one or experience a lot of negative emotions when someone enthusiastically talks about how wonderful the vacation was by the sea. Alas, for many of us, someone else's success – this is an additional reason to consider your life a failure. It begins to seem to you that everyone except you is living some kind of special life filled with wonderful bright events and this makes you feel sorry for yourself.
Modern technologies allow us to communicate our successes and achievements to the whole world. However, looking at photos published on social networks, we see only what their authors want to show us, successfully hiding not the most pleasant moments of their lives. Have you ever thought that expensive jewelry can be donated as a sign of reconciliation after adultery, and a recently received prestigious position makes your colleague devote much more time and energy to work, forgetting about rest and entertainment?
The habit of comparing yourself to others will not help you in life: there will always be someone who lives better, but there are also those who live worse than you. Compare your own achievements yesterday and today, instead of feeling sorry for yourself, learn to praise and reward yourself for success.
You don't know how to block your inner critic and it makes you feel sorry
Almost always we have a silent mental dialogue with ourselves. Often the voice of your inner skeptic starts to sound louder. Perhaps phrases like "You won't succeed again" or “He won’t call again anyway, there are a lot of beautiful girls around.” increasingly sound in your head, making you feel miserable. However, you should not be afraid, such skepticism is characteristic of all people, it is generated by our negative life experience, thanks to it, we learn not to repeat our previous mistakes. However, at times the voice of our inner critic sounds too intrusive, preventing you from positively perceiving the events and phenomena of your life. Try not to give too much will to your inner critic, block the negative voice of your subconscious –
Getting rid of the feeling of pity: learning to let go of our past easily
Of course, we all tend to rethink our experience sometimes, but if you want to feel truly happy, learn to let go of the past, no matter how attractive or terrible it didn't seem to you. Keeping the best in your soul is more interesting.
We remove the feeling of pity from life: we develop the ability to enjoy life
Fill your life with everything you love, reward yourself for any success achieved, try to communicate with people who charge you with positive, and most importantly, learn to see joy in the everyday little things of your life and then the feeling of self-pity will no longer bother you.
We have brought to your attention only a small list of signs , which indicate that you like to suffer, feel sorry for yourself and make others feel sorry. More interesting information onself-improvement
can be found at estet-portal.com.
which indicate that you like to suffer, feel sorry for yourself and make others feel sorry. More interesting information on self-improvement can be found at estet-portal.com.
self-improvement can be found at estet-portal.com.
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