There are people who believe that without them the world will collapse, the apocalypse will come and everything will be bad. Their only desire — control everything. Such behavior can lead to success, but most often it negatively affects the person and his environment. People with control mania most often become manipulators and tyrants, with whom it is very uncomfortable to communicate.
The editorial staff of estet-portal.com tells who control freaks are, why endless control leads to failures and moral exhaustion.
- Why there is a desire to control everything
- What an inconvenience brings endless control
- How to chat with control freaks
Why there is a desire to control everything
Although the official concept of "control freak" not in psychology, but experts don deny this problem. Psychologists identify two main reasons why people cannot get rid of the desire to keep everything under control:
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Increased anxiety. People prepare in advance for failure and try to prevent it by taking the solution of imaginary problems into their own hands.
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Thirst for power. Even if a person says that he is indifferent to management positions and leadership, then at a subconscious level, he wills this. With endless control, he is trying to achieve significance and respect from the others.
There is also a hypothesis that control freaks were overprotective in childhood, so this behavior pattern is habitual for them. They just don understand how it can be otherwise.
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What is the inconvenience of endless control
The desire to control everything brings a lot of inconvenience in all spheres of life: at work, in relationships and in life. Let's see why.
Control in household
You make sure that everything is in its place, the handles of the cups are turned to north, and the spoons are one in one. If you live on your own, this may be the norm. But if you supervise family members when they place cups and stack spoons, then you cause them discomfort. Every little thing that isn't done the way you want turns into a problem. Such far-fetched problems sow quarrels with relatives, and your experiences each time turn into a small personal tragedy. You spend your emotions on their decision, at the time would be happy that someone did the dishes for you.
This is a very exaggerated example, but this happens. In order not to get upset over little things, people take them into their own hands and do what they think is right. The in fact, the world won collapse if something isn not perfect. The picture of ideality is different for everyone. Therefore, it is worth "letting go" situation, and give others the opportunity to free up your time for more pleasant things.
Control at work
Control freaks very often fill out reports, correspond with clients, do sales, write texts for the website, booklets and banners. Meanwhile, entire departments are sitting idle. The controllers believe that the rest will not cope, and rush to & nbsp; help. As a result, neurosis, overwork and burnout come.
If you want to move up the career ladder, learn how to delegate tasks. Otherwise, there is a chance to get not only poor health, but and dismissal — there may not be enough energy for your direct duties.
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Control in relationships
Maniacal controllers constantly call their partner and ask: “Where are you? With who are you? What did have today? When will you be home? Have you been to the doctor? Did you call your mother? Such relationships usually end quickly because adults do not like constant control. They regard it as distrust, and without trust it is difficult to build strong healthy relationships.
Remember that if a person has not died of starvation or a cold before meeting you, then he is able to make decisions on his own.
How to chat with control freaks
Total control over you — this is a direct violation of personal boundaries and individual space. This behavior is always uncomfortable, and it can be difficult to get rid of control freaks. But you need to learn to refuse.
Refuse politely and persuasively, don don't be afraid to offend the person. Be sure to explain why you shouldn't get involved. If you found your own habits of control freaks, then think about it. It is worth relaxing a little and trusting others. You will see that many things can work without your intervention. At the same time, you will have more strength, time and inspiration for yourself and your interests.
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