"No"– a word that is not subject to all people. There is a large percentage of people who they cannot refuse others in response to a request without a feeling of regret, depression, grief. & nbsp; Most often, such emotions are inherent in individuals with low self-esteem. Such problems can drag on from childhood – parents, without knowing it themselves, taught their child to agree with everything and never contradict the elders. The ability to refuse others politely and correctly comes with experience. For many, rejection is an unpleasant way out of the comfort zone, when it is customary since childhood to fulfill the requests of parents unconditionally. Let's look at 8 actionable tips to learn how to politely refuse and justify your behavior correctly.
How to Learn to Say No: 8 Tips to Remember
- It is impossible to please everyone and be a good person for everyone
The fear of refusing a person comes from the fact that we are afraid of conflict, offending our neighbor, being left alone. Therefore, the constant desire to be a good person for others can simply become a habit, which will invariably lead to internal burnout. If we strive to please everyone, others will begin to enjoy reliability and constantly ask for something. It is at such moments that the question arises of how to teach to say "no" in order to correctly explain your decision.
And it often happens that when we help others, we put our dreams, ideas and needs on the back burner.
It is impossible to please everyone and please everyone – this is the biggest mistake. Try to be yourself, a unique and unique person. Only then you will like yourself and others.
Read also: Tactful Refusal: Saying "No" and Maintaining Good Relationships
- Keep your interests in mind
Each of us sooner or later found ourselves in a situation where relatives or friends needed help (financial, moral). But there are times when the requests of the surrounding people threaten to lose orientation in life. If we constantly fulfill the requests and instructions of other people, we will forget about our interests. You need to learn to set priorities and take into account both your own desires and remember the interests of other people.
- Never make excuses
Learn to make it clear to the person that you do not intend to follow orders. In no case do not make excuses, the longer the conversation lasts, the more you subconsciously agree, and at the end of the conversation, say "Yes." A clear and specific wording of the refusal will free you from justification. But in order to smooth out the unpleasant aftertaste of disagreement, it is better to justify the reason for your behavior.
- Be ready to refuse a person at any time
Willingness to refuse in any situation, be it "borrow money" or "sit with my children" – does not come immediately, it needs to be learned. Depending on the situation, you should consider a clear strategy for your behavior: support a loved one, because there is an opportunity, or refuse, because there is no real opportunity. If you have already decided to say "no", speak with confidence, but without harsh expressions and accusations.
Also read: Private space: No entry to unauthorized persons
- Think about how other people have influenced your decision in the past
Mom or dad, wife or husband, other people around you constantly influence your decision making. For example: the wife wanted the tenth pair of shoes, or the mother asks to come for a month, colleagues at the robot ask to finalize their project, because they themselves do not have time. There can be many such situations. You should always set limits when you can change your decisions, and when your decision remains unshakable.
- Don't resort to replacing the word "no"
Are you in the habit of not using the categorical word "no"? It can be replaced with synonyms or phrases: we'll discuss this later, I'm a little busy/t, I don't even know what to tell you, I need to think.
But remember that replacing the word "no" with the opposite meanings of – it is an urgent need to mitigate refusal, not consent. Only if the person doesn't accept rejection should you use a clear "no". Beautiful substitutes for this word can confuse others.
- Try to suggest an alternative instead of a definitive "no"
If you decide to compromise, then you should clearly explain what you will help with, and what you will have to do yourself.
– I understand that you have an urgent matter, but today I can not help. Tomorrow I will have free time, and we will have time to finish everything.
– I can't finish your work during my working hours, but I can help you tomorrow afternoon.
- Avoid apologies
Never apologize for your refusal. You don’t owe anything to anyone, and if you refused, then you had your own reasons.
Read also: How to get out of your comfort zone to expand your consciousness
There may be times when the question of how to learn to say no becomes relevant. Follow the above 8 tips to properly refuse a person and not lose your disposition and trust. It is better to accompany any refusal with justified reasons, self-confidence and your decision.
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