It seemed to humanity has enough tools for effective communication: language, facial expressions, gestures, Google translator in after all. And & nbsp; all the same, the question "how to understand another person?" remains relevant, because sometimes there is simply a shocking difference between what was said and & nbsp; heard. How to develop effective communication skills and learn to understand people from a half-word? Let's understand mechanisms of communication and consider the recommendations of psychologists in this article.
- How to understand you or why we don't hear each other
- How to understand another person: methods of psychologists
- Non-Verbal Interaction: Reading Hidden Signs
How to understand you or why we can't hear each other
In fact, the problem of misunderstanding is very difficult. Even what seems to be the most ordinary words do not always accurately convey what we want to say. Moreover, in communications, tone, intonation, facial expressions are very important, and they do not always correspond to what was said. Bark «fetch water» or say it quietly and softly — not at all the the same right? And after all, many conflicts arise just because of such trifles.
Problem in communication — it's not always the problem of one. Someone poorly formulates thoughts, someone lacks vocabulary, and someone is just too lazy to explain something clearly. In addition, there always remains the question of competence, the conversation between a specialist and a "teapot" it's more of a waste of time. In addition, according to the observations of psychologists, most often problems with understanding each other arise between representatives of different social groups, for example, a boss + a subordinate, a pensioner + a teenager, a resident of a metropolis + a representative of the outback.
So if everything is so complicated, how can you understand another person? To do this, you need to develop in yourself the ability to properly listen and hear the interlocutor. It isn difficult and will allow you to extract maximum useful information from any dialogue.
Read also: 5 tips to get along with anyone
How to understand another person: methods of psychologists
If you want to better understand the other, you need to try to communicate as much as possible, without this there is nothing. In order for communication to be as effective as possible, you need to win over yourself, and it is actually very simple to do this. People, alas, are selfish and most of all they like to talk about themselves and about their problems. What Dale Carnegie taught us works, even though he only framed the simple truth "everyone needs attention." Try using these techniques in conversation.
Verbatim repetition
A single phrase or several words must be repeated verbatim, you can connect an emotion that is appropriate. For example, "Discount" 20% for each customer? Seriously? Excellent! or “You say „to Egypt no more foot“ well and correct». The main thing is to repeat verbatim — this is the best confirmation that you listen attentively and even empathize. Usually, after such a repetition, the interlocutor confirms what was said, also adding some details that he immediately kept silent.
Paraphrasing
The reception is similar to the first, but you need to repeat the thesis in your own words. For example, "I" correctly understand ... "," You mean to say that ... ". This way you can make sure that you understand everything correctly and confirm what was said. This works especially well when the interlocutor wriggles and does not finish, "mirroring" his speech you demonstrate the flimsiness of his arguments and forcing him to give more information.
Summary
Highlighting the main idea in the speech of the interlocutor, and also the ability to smoothly bring the conversation to completion. This is especially appropriate when communicating with verbose people or if the conversation has gone in the second circle. The main thing is not to start with the words "In short" or "In general», it is better to say «OK, I understood everything: let's go there, do this and that», «That agreed, so I...» ;. Stirlitz did not say in vain that the last phrase is remembered, therefore, summing up, we fix and pronounce what we needed to extract from the conversation.
Such techniques help to bring out the maximum of useful information, to "talk" interlocutor. And they work not only in business communication, but and with the closest people. After all, how to understand another person without learning how to listen to him correctly? Try it and your communication will become more productive.
Read also: Words and phrases to resolve conflicts at work
Non-Verbal Interaction: Reading Hidden Signs
Even before the appearance of words and speech, primitive people communicated with gestures and facial expressions. Now the transfer of information has become simpler, but the habit of confirming / refuting what was said non-verbally, and also expressing one's attitude to what is happening in this way has remained. It is the posture, movements, involuntary gestures that convey the true meaning to us. So, what you need to pay attention to:
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Jerky phrases, wandering eyes, erratic or compulsive movements (tapping fingers, twitching legs). Generally speaking, it means "not" before you. The interlocutor is either upset, or deep in his thoughts. Perfect — leave it alone, if you communicate, then minimum denial, maximum consent.
- Walking back and forth, long pauses.
You either want to tell you something important, but unpleasant, or ask, or lie. In any case, the interlocutor collects his thoughts, chooses the wording. If in the course of a conversation, he more often turns his back to you — conversation is very unpleasant for him. Decrease tension, adopt a relaxed posture, nod or smile in agreement, but don interrupt.
Slouched shoulders, head thrown back , involuntary smile signal "everything is fine, I'm pleased" with you. -
Body language — busting the myths
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