Personal boundaries are a line drawn between individuals, the people around them, and larger social systems. The purpose of these boundaries is to separate a person from other people, their emotions, thoughts and actions. In addition, the personal boundaries of a person also perform the function of protecting the inner world from encroachments from the outside. Sometimes such invisible borders resemble a stone fence with barbed wire, and sometimes they completely evaporate - it all depends on the place and environment in which the person is located. Find out in this article what personal boundaries are for and how to properly protect them.
What are personal boundaries for?
Their main task is to highlight two important issues:
- What do I consider my property (what will I protect)?
- What am I responsible for (what will I control)?
Personal space boundary: how to define it
For some people, property boundaries are just a convention. That is, such a person essentially does not consider anything his, he has no “binding” to things. It is quite difficult for people of this type to refuse to help someone, both moral and financial. The main thing for them is to appear before everyone as a kind, open and generous person.
The opposite type is people whose personal space is too wide. Everything that surrounds them will certainly become their property - children, wife, employees, apartment, office space. These people ignore other people's boundaries, they are always “too many”, they completely capture the space around them.
There is also a category of people who are not ready to take responsibility not only for others, but also for themselves. These persons do not want to accept criticism, avoid any obligations. Men of this type are not going to fulfill marital or fatherly obligations, because for them this is a violation of their personal boundaries, since for the sake of the family they will have to change their usual way of life.
How to properly protect the border of personal space?
It is possible to determine the method of protecting the boundaries of personal space only on the basis of the current situation. First of all, it is important to be able to say “no” - this is indispensable for those who easily give up before pressure and aggression.
A person learns to create and protect personal boundaries in childhood. However, throughout life, these boundaries can change many more times. For example, teenagers are especially militantly guarding the boundaries of their personal space. This life period is necessary for them in order to become independent and separate from their parents.
Lovers sometimes dissolve so much into each other that only over time they begin to notice that it has become somehow cramped. If the rules of interaction are not reviewed in time, the relationship will either fall into a crisis or fall apart altogether.
A key feature of healthy personal boundaries is their flexibility.
Your relationship will be more pleasant, simple and honest if you:
- know how to emotionally distance yourself from situations that are unpleasant for you;
- consider getting close to the people you choose comfortable and safe;
- take into account both your own interests and the interests of others;
- you know how to give emotionally, and how to give.
It is important to respect both other people's boundaries of personal space and your own, only in this way it is possible to comfortably coexist with people around you, feel inner harmony and not create conflict situations.
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