The daughter of the famous writer Victor Hugo, Adele became famous for her unrequited love for the English officer Pinson. Having met him, she decided that he was the man of her whole life, but the lieutenant did not share the feelings of the girl and avoided her in every possible way. Adele bombarded him with letters, followed him from city to city, followed him on his heels. Mad with love, she was brought to her father at the age of 42, but he could not help her get rid of love addiction. She ended her days in a lunatic asylum, and psychiatrists called her condition the Adele syndrome.
Love dependence or addiction is one of the varieties of addictions along with alcoholism and drug addiction, with the only difference being that it arises not from chemicals, but from a partner in a relationship.
In such a relationship, one of the partners, as it were, dissolves in the other, constantly concentrates on him, depends on his desires and moods. There is no equality here. One dominates and the other obeys. The latter takes full responsibility for the relationship, endures humiliation and forgives, allows himself to be treated as if he would not allow anyone else.
In a dependent relationship, there is often a feeling that “it’s impossible with him, but I can’t live without him either.” A love addict is often in a state of discontent, jealousy, doubt, he is often angry with his partner and annoyed. But at the same time he is very afraid that he will be abandoned, left. In such a relationship, both partners suffer and are destroyed, of course.
I would like to note that dependence of varying degrees is present in any relationship. But if the relationship brings more pain and anguish than pleasure and happiness, when it is impossible to grow and develop in the relationship, then most likely this is a love addiction that needs to be “treated”.
How to get rid of love addiction:
- - acknowledge that there is a problem, that you are in a dependent relationship;
- - share your own experiences with other people, stop hiding and justifying your partner;
- - start to be guided by your own needs and desires in life;
- - do not take responsibility for your partner's life, he is an adult and will not die without you. (do not direct him, do not blame him, do not control him, etc.);
- - ask for help.
Without the help of a qualified specialist, unfortunately, love addiction, like any other, cannot be dealt with. After all, its origins lie in childhood itself. And long, painstaking and deep work on oneself is needed in order to get rid of this addiction and become happy.
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