Women very often, in their irrepressible desires to help, take absolutely wrong and unnecessary steps, which can even harm the subjects "in need" in help. The question is especially acute when women, out of good intentions, help men. We will advise you on how not to get hung up on the desire to provide such assistance to the representatives of the stronger sex, stop taking on all the responsibility, reverse an unpleasant life situation and make it work for you.
How it happens: life situations
Often, women live or meet with such men, whose extraordinary abilities no one but themselves can discern. These talents are hardly recognized by anyone, and therefore are not appreciated. Such undervalued men do not take their women to restaurants, do not give bouquets and gifts, justifying this by saying that they are not working, but are waiting to be appreciated and promoted. Then everything will be great. Meanwhile, their loved ones, waiting for better times, work for two and pay themselves everywhere, thinking that in this way they help their chosen ones. But the wait drags on for years.
Or another situation: a man is in a civil marriage with a woman, and from time to time he buys something for her, takes her somewhere. However, the gentleman is in no hurry to marry, explaining that he is not yet ready for a legal relationship, is not sufficiently provided for, etc. In this case, the woman is also ready to wait, believe and serve her chosen one.
But in none of these and similar situations, no positive changes occur.
Real help for men: how to act correctly?
At consultations with psychologists, women ask themselves questions like: what else can they do for their man, how can they help, or maybe they don’t do enough?
The most important thing in such a protracted situation – stop doing anything for your man at all: don’t curry favor, don’t harness yourself to several jobs at once, etc. While a woman is active, providing a life, and working for two, a man will do little himself. As is often the case, he won't do anything at all – because it's very convenient.
You are not offered to become a wife? Stop serving a man, forgive laziness and irresponsibility, do not waste your energy. You should not even help him, worry about his failures, lisp. Only in this way can a man be made a real Man who is able to solve his own problems and take responsibility for a woman too.
Female Support – three main hypostases
It is necessary to exclude from your vocabulary and thoughts the phrase – "helping a man", you should not humiliate your faithful with it. We can only occasionally support men, and our support must rest on three pillars:
- the main thing is to see only the best features of the chosen one. Your faith in him must be silent: show true admiration only with a glance;
- A calm atmosphere should reign at home, so that a man has confidence in the reliability of the rear, and energy is not wasted on home disassembly;
- good mood despite lingering financial problems.
Don't teach your man about life, don't give advice, don't be sorry and don't help with money – only in this way will he gain courage and strength. Just believe in him!
Even if you're going through hard times, don't be a draft horse working three jobs, respect yourself too. And give the man the opportunity to develop, overcome difficulties, grow on them. So he will begin to respect himself.
Women, first of all, need to learn to value themselves, work on their self-esteem, transform their lives for the better and not think every minute about what else they can provide help to men. You should not compromise and live your life losing self-esteem. Then any man will want to show his best qualities next to such a confident woman and her companion. But if your chosen one does not want to be responsible for you, accept, this is not your man.
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