What lies behind the desire for sex? Not only the intention to conceive offspring or the thirst for physical pleasure. This can express the need for recognition and the fear of loneliness. So we assert ourselves, demand attention and try to bind a partner to ourselves. Let's try to understand the motives that push us to have sex.
Social Approval
It is human nature to want to belong to a group, to be “like everyone else” – it is always calmer and more profitable. Identification is one of the most ancient psychological defense mechanisms. That is why, in response to the fact that the society cultivates male and female temperament, we unconsciously pedal our own feelings, showing hyperactivity in sexual relations. The standards of sexuality are being actively introduced into our consciousness. As a result, when we think we are experiencing sensual desire, perhaps what we really want is social recognition, conformity to the image of a sex symbol or expectations of a partner that we ourselves have invented.
Desire for human intimacy
This is one of the most common motives, especially for women. Human disunity, everyday stress are often the reasons for the appearance of fear of loneliness, a sense of alienation and spiritual emptiness. And then we urgently, at that very moment, it is vital to feel the warm human touch in order to understand that we are not alone on this earth. A few minutes of passion, experienced together with a partner, at least for a short time bring us closer, taking away anxieties and giving a feeling of peace and comfort.
Self-assertion
One of the most important aspects of sex is maintaining a sense of self-worth. Therefore, sometimes behind our desire for intimacy is a thirst for self-affirmation, the desire to feel strength and power, to amuse our pride. Sex is one of the fastest and most effective ways to increase self-esteem. We strongly associate the images of a vamp woman and a male male with success in life. Admiration and desire for a partner keep us confident in our own sexual viability and irresistibility.
Requirement for attention
Often, feeling a lack of attention from a partner, we try to attract him by showing sexual activity. In other words, we often want sex so that our partner just stays with us - mentally and physically. Intimacy is the time when two belong to each other, all sensory analyzers are focused on the perception of each other - "and let the whole world wait."
Desire for touch
We are accustomed to treating our own body as consumers: we exploit its capabilities and rarely indulge. We squeeze our bodies into tight jeans, sit still for eight hours of work, wear us out at the gym, drag us out of bed despite the night's fatigue. And how often do we please him (without resorting to sex)?
Cultural traditions don't allow me to ask my friend to give me a relaxing massage or a pat on my back. But tactile sensations are very important for physical and mental health. It has been scientifically proven that when hugging in the human body, the amount of endorphins increases and immunity increases, and deprivation of tactile sensations leads to disturbances in the work of the nervous and endocrine systems. Thus, sometimes behind our passionate “I want” there is a need for tactile contact - we just want to be stroked on the head.
Desire to bind a partner
This desire is dictated by fear, which is most often characteristic of the fairer sex. Alas, a variety of erotic poses will not protect relationships from boredom and betrayal, because the quality of relationships is not determined by quantitative indicators or the sophistication of technology. The most powerful aphrodisiac is your sincere desire, capricious and free, valuable for its naturalness. You will not be able to deceive a partner, especially if he has known you for a long time - the lie will manifest itself one way or another. In deliberate passion, a man will surely catch fear and uncertainty - and this is fatal for any desire.
Sex for sex
And, of course, we love to have sex as such. Just because it's great. For the fact that our body, opening up and receiving pleasure, returns pleasure to the partner. For the intimacy of the moment of violation of the boundaries of our body. For the amazing energy that fills our entire being. For the infinite richness of emotions and the feeling of the fullness of being.
Source estet-portal.com
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