Relationships in a couple – rather thin matter and many of their signs are often considered natural, although they are not at all. Due to such a distorted perception, feelings slowly but surely leave partners, and an unpleasant aftertaste accumulates like a snowball. If you really value relationships and do not want to realize sooner or later that all the best is in the past – Read this article for 6 signs of an unhealthy relationship that many people look down on.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship in a couple that are often ignored
Insinuations and passive aggression
How does it manifest itself? Instead of openly discussing their desires and problems, the partner tries to push you towards the right decision, in his opinion, and secretly takes revenge on you.
What is the danger? Such situations speak of your closeness when communicating with a partner. Justifications for passive-aggressive behavior are impossible to find – it only promotes insecurity and a false sense of security.
What to do? Always be open about your problems and express your desires.
Game “Who screwed up the hardest”
How does it manifest itself? The couple constantly reminds each other of the mistakes made in the past and keep a virtual score. If the partners fail to move to the next stage, the relationship in a couple turns into an endless game of "Who screwed up the most"; and, of course, no one will like to live in constant tension because of reproaches.
What is the danger? Because of the constant recall of the mistakes of the past, dissatisfaction arises, and not entirely successful attempts are made to make the partner better, but this does not contribute to solving the problem.
What to do? Just stop constantly reminding your partner of his past mistakes. Does it matter what he did 3 years ago now? Every person – the totality of their past actions and the only correct decision – accept each other for who you are (if you really care about this relationship).
Blaming him/her for one's own experiences
How does it manifest itself? Let's assume that your day turned out to be not pleasant – someone stomped on your new shoes in the subway, the rain ruined your hair, and the boss scolded you for a hitch with the project. Often, a loved one falls under a hot hand. But does he deserve it?
What is the danger? Blaming your partner for your own negative emotions is a subtle form of selfishness and is a classic example of the inability to separate the personal from the general. When you blame your partner for your negative feelings, you create a precedent: now you and your partner will have associations between the actions of a loved one and a bad mood, despite the fact that in fact there is no connection. Thus, the life of one of their partners revolves around the mood of the other.
What to do? Be responsible for your own emotions. When people feel guilty, it encourages them to hide their feelings and manipulate each other.
Emotional blackmail
How does it manifest itself? After another quarrel, one of the partners threatens to break off the relationship. Instead of saying, "I don't think you care about me," you say, "I can't be with someone who doesn't have feelings for me."
What is the danger? Such emotional blackmail creates a lot of completely unnecessary problems. As a result, any completely insignificant rubbish is inflated to a real disaster. Relationships in a couple should be built in such a way that everyone has the right and opportunity to express their dissatisfaction without prejudice to the relationship. Otherwise, there is a suppression of feelings, which gives rise to constant distrust and manipulation.
What to do? When a person worries about relationship problems – it's quite normal. But the difference is that people who openly discuss their problems strengthen relationships and increase feelings, and those who use blackmail and reproaches only worsen the situation.
Solving problems with shopping and gifts
How does it manifest itself? After the scandal that you and your partner made the day before, instead of sitting down and calmly discussing problems, but simply trying to forget about what happened. Expensive gifts and shopping are great ways to sideline relationship problems.
What is the danger? This behavior brings commercialism to the relationship. If a guy every time after he made a mistake takes the girl to an expensive restaurant, this will only give her an incentive to make her partner guilty every time. Such relationships in a couple can be called irresponsible, where she – constantly offended by something, and he – live ATM.
What to do? Speak! As soon as something starts to disturb you and not to triple – tell your partner about it. You should give gifts to your loved ones when everything is good, not when everything is bad.
Unhealthy jealousy
How does it manifest itself? You react violently to the fact that a loved one, in your opinion, communicates too closely with another person. This encourages you to turn into a spy and keep an eye on your partner – check his phone, email, social media messages and even rummage through his pockets.
What is the danger? Some people are sure that if there is no jealousy, there are no feelings. On the jelly itself, a jealous person creates a huge problem – he destroys trust in a couple and humiliates his partner.
What to do? You have no other choice but to simply trust your loved one. Minimal jealousy – it's okay, but you need to be able to control yourself and not go too far.
Hushing up problems always leads to the breakup of a relationship, so you need to communicate with your partner as much as possible, even if the conversation is not going to be easy.
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