Marriage problems that lead to divorce can be avoided in most cases. To do this, it is necessary to pay attention to the discontent of the spouse (s) in time and be able to solve problems. Psychotherapy of family relations – common in western countries, but we don't have many willing to share their problems with a consultant. However, the advice of a family psychologist, even if not yours, is worth heeding. Today estet-portal.com will share with you the experience of foreign psychologists who told you what complaints of married men they hear most often.
Complaints of men: what lies behind them
Misunderstandings in the family, left unattended, can cause irreparable harm to the relationship of spouses and marriage in general. To see in your own eye a log that blocks the path to a happy family life can be difficult. This is partly due to the fact that women and men both think and behave differently, respectively, most of the problems arise precisely on this basis.
In an effort to help couples avoid common mistakes and disagreements, psychotherapists have uncovered a list of men's most common complaints about their wives.
The most common complaints men have about their wives
1. "My wife thinks I can read minds."
Men often point out this injustice: wives want their husbands to know what they think and how they feel all the time. Men who are not experts in the field of mind reading, making a tiny mistake in their purely intuitive judgments about the thoughts of the woman they love, feel like real monsters.
Naomi Berger, a psychotherapist, believes that wives need to relax the telepathic requirements they place on their lovers. The best way to get what you want, according to the psychotherapist, is a clear expression of this very desire. If you want to teach your spouse to anticipate your reactions and desires, constantly talk to him about how you feel, when and why such pleasant or unpleasant feelings and desires arise.
2. "Talking before bedtime or in the middle of the night – not the best idea.
Definitely solve problems and communicate with each other – very important to maintaining a relationship. However, not exactly the right timing for such discussions – another complaint of men that psychologists pay attention to.
A woman can be so tormented by a question or an unresolved matter that she will not be able to sleep until she discusses it with her beloved. However, the reality is that for most men, bedtime – worst time to talk. Therefore, it is better to postpone the discussion of issues of any importance to a time when both partners can fully participate in such a discussion – at dinner or during a walk, for example.
3. "She doesn’t appreciate me.".
Yes, it's not just women who complain about this. Ignoring such a complaint from men is highly discouraged – it is she who is the most common cause of male infidelity. Gary Newman, a well-known psychotherapist, emphasizes that it is not the insipidity of a sexual life that most often pushes men to cheat, but the lack of praise from their spouses.
The problem is that many women believe that the more a man is praised, the less he will do pleasant things. However, this is not the case – it is necessary to appreciate men, because it inspires the fair sex to act.
4. "She doesn’t support me in raising my children".
To be an effective team of parents and raise children well, it is necessary to work together: if mom does not allow walking until the child cleans the room, then dad must support her. The gist of the men's complaint above is that their wives do not always support them in raising their children.
Meanwhile, it is very important that the child sees that the parents are acting together – and it will simply not be possible to lure one of them to your side. If behind each other's backs you allow your child candy before dinner, but "only so that mom doesn't find out", as a result you will not only teach your child to manipulate you, but also find a new reason for scandals.
5. "She is not interested in sex.".
Over time, sex becomes not as bright and exciting as it used to be, but it should be. Complaints from men that their wives show no sexual interest in them at all are quite common. In order to avoid such problems, women need to take the initiative, otherwise the man feels that only he needs sex in this marriage, and he completely burdens his wife with his natural desires.
However, as Newman points out, men can also facilitate sex in a marriage. It has been proven that in families where husbands help their spouses around the house and with children, spouses have sex more often.
6. "For her, marriage– not the most important.
Of course, with the conclusion of marriage and the appearance of children for a working woman, the number of worries increases. According to men's complaints, their wives' priorities are anything – children, career, meetings with friends, but not their relationship.
The way to solve this problem, according to the psychotherapist, is extremely simple: you only need to go out on a date once a week, leaving household chores at home.
Remember, working on marriage – the task is responsible and difficult, especially if children are involved in it. But working together and wanting to be happy together can work wonders – pay attention to your spouse's wishes and do everything to understand and solve each other's problems.
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