6 steps to overcome envy

When a person is pursued by endless luck, and you, on the contrary, always get into all sorts of troubles, facing various obstacles, and you can’t achieve what you have been dreaming of for many years, it seems insanely unfair. Yes, everything can go like clockwork for someone, but this is not at all a reason to envy a person, it is better to take other people's successes as motivation and try to do everything possible to improve your skills and become better. Read the article from Estet-portal on how to get rid of envy and start acting.>

Your friend posted gorgeous photos from the Maldives on Facebook, school friends – got married, and the best friend's career is gaining dizzying momentum. It would seem, why not be happy for loved ones? You have been friends for so long and experienced so much together ... But somewhere deep in your soul, a worm of envy settles and begins to undermine your friendship. Why are they doing well and not you? Why are you worse? No, of course you are happy for them and sincerely love them. But how unbearably painful it is to realize one's own inferiority against the bright background of the success of a loved one! Yes, you are experiencing a very ancient in evolutionary terms and undoubtedly destructive emotion: you are jealous. 

Since the time of Cain, there has not been a person on earth who would never envy anyone. In some respects, people's envy can be seen as an element of psychological defense – it arises as a reaction to the success of another, protecting us from a one-on-one confrontation with our own inferiority. Without being "caught" in the bud, envy can grow bushy, climb into every corner of the heart, so that we stop enjoying what we have in life. This emotion can and should be resisted and the energy it generates can be redirected into a productive channel. 

You can get rid of envy in 6 steps:

Step 1. Be aware of your feelings

First, admit that you are jealous. Don't judge yourself – after all, the feeling of guilt, like "psychological weights", makes it difficult to move forward. No one is perfect and cannot experience exclusively positive feelings – therefore, accept your envy as a fact and forgive yourself for it.  

Step 2: Analyze the causes

Then you need to try to figure out the reasons that make you jealous.  Most often it is – lack of unconditional self-love, acceptance of one's own uniqueness with all its virtues and limitations, and faith in one's ability to reach the heights. Stop comparing yourself to others! No matter what top of life we ​​are, there will always be people around who earn more, who have a better figure or a more caring wife. Do you have – your talents, your mission, which you need to realize as efficiently as possible and your path, which you need to go through as beautifully and happily as possible! Therefore, you need to compare yourself with yourself – but in the past – a month, six months, a year ago. This gives you the opportunity to adjust your path, evaluate personal results,

Step 3: Understand the cost of someone else's success

Don't try to achieve the same as the object of your envy. What is good for your friend might be insignificant or even unbearable for you. Also, don't believe everything you see and hear unconditionally. People tend to give their surroundings the perfect picture (just look at the radiant photos on social networks!), And yet nothing comes for free. It is this side that is usually left behind the scenes. Believe me, you would not agree to pay their price for their joys, even if their life seems simple and carefree to you.

Step 4. Talk about how you feel

People's envy goes hand in hand with pride. The envious person raises himself on a "pedestal" so that his own imperfection does not burn so painfully. Meanwhile, the spoken emotion weakens – this is the basis of most psychotherapeutic techniques. Talk openly with a friend about how you feel. Most likely, he will not be offended and will not turn away from you – people are flattered by the recognition of their success by others. Perhaps he will even share with you the secrets of his victories – and you can apply something from his arsenal in your own life and stop envying.

Step 5. Focus on your strengths

Surely you also have something to be grateful for life. Take a look – on what you are lucky and what you are strong in – surely you are also the object of someone's envy.

Step 6: Use Envy as a Motivator

And most importantly – stop "envying silently" and start acting. Our envy – a powerful affect, the energy from which can and should be directed to your own achievements! It is she who can make us squat to exhaustion in the gym, remembering the elastic forms of a friend. It is the luxurious car of a classmate that does not allow to stop and makes you continue to work in spite of fatigue. Transform destructive envy into healthy competition, believe in yourself – and finally do what you didn’t dare to dream about – after all, it happened to the same person as you! Envy, like any phenomenon – two sides. It can plunge a person into an abyss of negative emotions or become an amazing motivator. And how we manage this feeling – to the detriment or benefit of yourself – depends on the degree of our personal maturity – from the ability to be honest with ourselves, to believe in ourselves and to be grateful for what we have. 

Source estet-portal.com