Happiness is very important for every person. Everyone determines personally for himself what makes him happy, and everyone determines for himself the degree of happiness he feels. For many, a prerequisite for a happy life is the presence of a loved one who will always understand, support, come to the rescue in difficult times and in general is an integral part of life. However, relationships are not always perfect. Some people tend to blame only the partner for the collapse of the relationship, not noticing their mistakes, and some try to analyze all possible problems as objectively as possible in order to avoid their occurrence in the future. Both will benefit from learning about fatal mistakes that lead to relationship failure.
Although our happiness is not determined only by the presence or absence of relationships, nevertheless, being in a relationship, we definitely feel happier than single ones. At the same time, consciously or not, we often do things ourselves that destroy the connection that we cherish so much. But you can save love by avoiding these fatal relationship mistakes.
1. “He (she) is not going anywhere!”
The longer our relationship lasts, the more often we take the presence of a partner in our lives for granted. We pay less attention to each other, romantic trifles leave the relationship. This is a sign of a more mature relationship. But the longing for romance overshadows the importance of what they have for many. It seems that without bouquets and evening walks, what remains of a relationship means nothing.
It is at such moments that it is useful to imagine what your life would be like if he (or her) were not in it. How will you live if you really break up. What will you do on the same evening? What will you dream about that will make you happy (oh)?
Such fantasies will awaken sharp feelings – those that have dulled over time: affection, tenderness, warmth, and perhaps jealousy and possessive desire to possess… Listen to yourself. These emotions – Your beacons to help you stay on track. Don't let indifference settle in your home. Notice and appreciate the person next to you. Give him your care and warmth – you both deserve it.
2. “He (she) will leave me!”
Inattention is detrimental to relationships. However, the opposite is even more destructive: painful dependence on a partner. You are in constant anxiety - whether he (she) loves you, and in fear - that you will be abandoned. Most likely, this is how it will happen. People who are dependent on the attention of another person scare their partners away with an unhealthy need for constant confirmation of feelings, the absence of their own core. This is – psychological “koalas”, who need a strong trunk for support. Carry on your shoulders “koala” – an excessive burden for your partner, isn't it? In addition, by constantly demonstrating your own insecurity in the feelings of a partner, you yourself give him doubts that you are worthy of his love.
Therefore, it is not necessary every half an hour, looking into your eyes, wondering in a trembling voice whether your partner really loves you. You yourself can understand this – by whether he is interested in your life, whether he takes into account your needs, whether he is attentive to your wishes. Love yourself in the relationship and show confidence in his feelings. This will enable your partner to love you and be confident in his attitude.
3. “I'll tell you our little secret”
Two people living together always have something intimate that unites them and is not intended for the ears and eyes of strangers. And to protect the integrity of this protected area – sacred duty of both partners. Initiation of outsiders into the details of personal life, no matter how outstanding, funny or insignificant they may seem to you – undermines the partner's trust in us. The situation can be extremely painful for a partner, he will feel humiliated, and you – to be tormented by guilt for being too frank where restraint should have been shown.
4. “He (she) has a nasty streak …”
Neither you nor your partner are perfect. Therefore, the fact that you have a list of “unloved” traits possessed by a loved one – completely normal. Believe me, he has a list no less. A mistake in a relationship is to discuss these shortcomings not with him, but with strangers. In addition to the fact that by initiating strangers into your relationship, you introduce poachers into the protected area (see paragraph 3), you are also winding yourself up for nothing. After all, if you did not tell your partner what exactly is bothering you, he may not be aware of what is an irritant for you. It might not cost him anything to change that in himself. Or vice versa, it is so important for him that you should take this feature of him for granted and not concentrate on it. Concentration on the shortcomings of a partner makes us irritable and picky,
5. “I'm offended, but I won't say anything”Mutual resentment and irritation arise in any relationship. What matters is how we deal with them. The most destructive way – accumulate irritation and pretend that everything is in order. On the one hand, the partner cannot but feel the insincerity of a smile or a shadow of resentment on your face, even if all Hollywood actors are no match for you. On the other hand, even if you consider yourself a peacemaker angel, your dissatisfaction will not go anywhere. It will be pushed into the unconscious and from there it will control your emotions and actions. And having reached a critical mass, at one fine moment it will pour out on your partner in a stormy scene out of the blue. By the way, if you notice something similar in the behavior of your partner – think and talk with him about the possible reasons for what is happening. <
6. “I doubt the prospects of our relationship”
Do you often worry about what will happen to your relationship, how strong and long-term they are? Are you inclined to interpret your partner's fatigue as cooling off towards yourself? Are you always afraid to look the wrong way or do the wrong thing? This kind of anxiety is fraught with two very unpleasant consequences. First of all, you lose confidence and comfort. And also, constantly playing “Plan B” in your thoughts, you deprive the relationship of stability, charge them with anxiety, and tell your partner your unwillingness to go further with him. Such fears often turn out to be self-fulfilling prophecies. Avoid these thoughts, try to think positively and share long-term plans for a joint happy future with your partner in order to ensure this very happiness for both of you.
7. “He (she)– loser(s)”
In the life of each of us there are difficult moments. Illness, grief, dismissal… Difficulties in the life of one of the partners will inevitably affect his other half. The correct behavior seems obvious – accept and support a loved one in difficult times. However, watching a loved one drooping, weak, dull and desperate & nbsp; can sometimes be very difficult. Especially if you are used to seeing your partner as strong and relying on him. Especially if the difficult period continues for a long time. Maintaining optimism in critical situations requires considerable effort on the part of the partner. But these efforts are necessary. Because faith in a loved one – the basis of the relationship itself. Sometimes this is the only thing that can ease suffering and give us strength to move on.
The development of our relations is not always one hundred percent what we expected. However, as long as our weakness, stupidity or pride has not destroyed what is dear to us, we always have a chance to fix everything.
Estet-portal wishes you a strong and happy relationship!
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