Aggressive-minded people are unpleasant to anyone. They have a hostile attitude towards everyone and everything, it doesn’t cost them anything to start a scandal, insult, be rude, they often put pressure on others. The behavior and actions of such people are aimed at causing trouble, harming another person. However, suppressed rage, which is considered less harmful, often brings no less suffering and pain. Yes, and manifestations of such aggression can be very strange. estet-portal.com understands the problem.
How passive aggression manifests itself: features of the phenomenon
It can be difficult to recognize this behavior right away. It is possible to understand this only by determining the difference between a person's thoughts and his actions. Both passive and overt aggression are primarily characterized by hostility. The difference lies only in the way of expression: in the first case, aggressive people express negative feelings indirectly, and in the second – straight.
The surest sign of passive-aggressive behavior, when a person tries not to make eye contact with his interlocutor, looks away.
For example, you are walking down the street and you meet – a former classmate or employee, etc. The last time you saw each other was not 20 or 10 years ago, so as not to recognize you, and it was simply unrealistic not to notice you. But a man passes by, looking in the opposite direction with tension.
Such people are grouchy, love to criticize, sneer roughly, try to express themselves with sarcasm and do not compromise with contempt. They often do not take into account requests, what they promise – do not remember, they prefer to be late for meetings.
Unfortunately, passive-aggressive individuals often have a block (in this case, much comes from education) to showing care for others, love for them and tender feelings.
Much more often than it is commonly thought, representatives of the weaker sex show passive aggression. Women can express it without starting scandals with their husbands, but using other psychological weapons – moral pressure through manipulation and blackmail. For example, in response to the unwillingness of the faithful to buy new boots (and it doesn’t matter for what reasons), such a lady may stop talking to her husband, “blow” sponges, "do" dissatisfied face, while to the question "What happened?", the answer to the husband will be: "Everything is fine."
How to deal with passive aggressive people
Usually, when communicating with a passive-aggressive person, his interlocutor feels the desire to scream and sort things out. It happens that such aggression is splashed out on purpose: in order to cause a scandal. However, it is often directed at those who fail to give a worthy rebuff.
Psychiatrists say: people who show passive aggression do not always understand that they are behaving inappropriately.
Therefore, such individuals do not consider it necessary to undergo treatment. Nevertheless, it is possible and necessary to fight manifestations of passive aggression in everyday life.
First of all, don't be lenient towards such people. Since this behavior is the epitome of a power struggle, do not miss the opportunity to confront it. We'll have to use the usual strategy of struggle. For example, if a person is systematically late, it is worth warning him that you will not wait for him again. If a person does not react in any way to such a statement and the next time everything will happen again, just carry out what was said and leave. In your "counteroffensives" there should be no general words, only specifics: give examples.
The most important – do not allow yourself to be provoked into a scandal, do not lose your temper, do not make it easier for the aggressor, because he achieves this. However, one should not go over to the individual: respect yourself. Speak respectfully, make it clear that you accept the opinion of the opponent, even despite the rejection of his point of view. & nbsp; After all, recognizing a person and his feelings, you are not obliged to agree with him.
estet-portal.com wishes you to meet both passive and obvious aggressors as little as possible on your way, and when faced with them, learn to fight back!
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