How behavior pattern affects life: reactive and proactive behavior

Every day in the life of every person there is a huge number of different situations that are far from always pleasant and joyful. Each of us has a certain model of behavior in these situations: someone gets upset, someone swears, and someone finds a way out and even uses sudden troubles to their advantage. The model of a person's behavior largely determines the quality of her life, and affects all its spheres.

What is the difference between proactive and reactive models of personality behavior, and which one is more preferable for each person – read on estet-portal.com in an exclusive interview with a practical psychologist, coach, business consulting expert, trainer Nesia Ferdman.

What are proactive and reactive models of personality behavior, what are their features?

NF: Every day there are many different events and changes in the world, many of which we cannot influence, but they influence us. For example, weather conditions or fluctuations in the dollar: we cannot change this, but such events affect our lives. And the first reaction of people to such changes – this is often reactive behavior, that is, emotions: I get upset, I'm very sorry, I get angry, I look for who is to blame, blame people and so on. There are many emotions in reactive behavior, but there are no actions that change anything. Proactive behavior – this is when a person asks himself the question, what can I do about it, and how can I influence the situation that has already developed. And the keyword here is – is "to do"

Which model of behavior is more preferable for a person, and why

NF: Of course, when a certain situation arises, each person initially has reactive behavior. We are not robots and we all have emotions.

The question is how long the stage of reactive behavior lasts, because you can get stuck in it, or you can stay for a certain time and realize that reactive behavior does not lead to changes, but, on the contrary, does not allow you to move on.

So it's important to get proactive quickly and start asking yourself what actions I need to take to change this situation. It is important to note that even 5 years ago this question would have been enough, but today, especially in the business environment, just the question of how I can change the situation is no longer enough. Companies that ask themselves the only question, how to survive, most often drown in crises. If you ask yourself how can I

use this situation to my advantage – this is a revolution of consciousness.

The incident seems to be negative, but you ask yourself how you can use it. And it is those people and companies that learn to use unexpected situations to their advantage that become winners. It is also important to understand what we can influence and what – no. One person will say that his salary depends only on the decision of his director, and the other knows that the level of payment for his work depends on him. That is, at the beginning we determine whether we can influence events or not, and if we can, then how, and if we can’t, then how we can use it to our advantage. Thus, we must ask ourselves the right questions, the direct result of which will be targeted and effective actions!

Does a reactive behavior model bring any value and benefit to a person?

NF: Yes, definitely. First, there are a lot of emotions and feelings in reactive behavior, and I think that ignoring them – it is not right. I need to be aware of how I feel in certain situations and learn to manage my emotions. So I don't think there is anything good about reactive behavior. Our emotions are there, and this is what, in my opinion, drives a person in many ways. If I understand that now I am upset, aggressive, something worries me, and I do not want to be in these emotions – I will do something to change that. If I am not well, I do not want to ignore it, but I want to do something to make me feel better. This is the value of the reactive model of behavior.

Why can different people behave differently in the same situation?

NF: Now, of course, I can start talking about the fact that there are different personality types, temperaments, and, of course, this largely affects the model of personality behavior. But I would like to put it a little more simply: the – it's like a muscle that can be pumped up. I do not believe that personality type can justify a person's behavior pattern. If I understand that proactive behavior  will help me to become happier and more successful, and I want this – I will pump up this muscle.

In the beginning I will practice this skill in calmer situations, then I will use it more often, and if this muscle is in good shape all the time – this means that proactive behavior will be more familiar to me, and I will not have to make much effort in order to respond to unexpected situations in this way. Therefore, I believe that proactive behavior can be nurtured in every person.

What should you do to get used to being proactive?

NF: In order to start using proactive behavior in your life, first of all, you need to realize that there is a reactive and proactive behavior, and there is a difference between them. Next, you need to consciously follow your behavior model: how I react to a sudden situation. If my reaction does not help me – this is reactive behavior. How long does it last, and what do I need to do in order to switch to proactive behavior? In fact, the proactive behavior of –  is the conscious control of one's reaction to events.

So first I think you need to understand the difference between reactive and proactive behavior, then understand

what questions you need to ask yourself in order to switch to proactive behavior, and only then learn to see the possibilities that lie hidden in every situation that arises.

What benefits does a person get from using a proactive behavior model?

NF: First, he understands that whatever happens in his life, he can not only cope with it, but receive certain benefits and positive emotions. A person who uses a proactive behavior model experiences less stress.

If a person knows how to proactively respond to various changes around – his life becomes more fulfilling and he begins to see more possibilities in different situations.

Of course, I'm not talking about critical situations, such as natural disasters or catastrophes, where you need to respond not just proactively, but follow a clear algorithm of actions. But I

  I'm talking about many other situations that happen in our lives every day that affect us a lot.

If I missed the tram – how can I use this to my advantage if my flight is delayed – I can't change that, but how can I use the free time? Our whole life consists of such situations, and a huge number of little things or more global things can simply knock us out of the normal feeling of life. And just the ability to proactive behavior – this is a very good quality that helps us to be more efficient in our lives.

 Being proactive means taking action now. Take 5 minutes for yourself and make your stomach perfect:

Read also:

Nessia Ferdman: Self-renewal means stopping and sharpening the saw