Perhaps our time can rightly be called the era of anxiety. There are many reasons for the experiences of a modern person: in addition to the fears traditional at all times for loved ones, health, children, family, there was added the fear of losing a job, living in a world of genetically modified products, a completely defiled environment, a precarious financial situation, an unstable economic situation. Anxiety has entered our lives so much that it is perceived as a normal reaction to troubles. But normality cannot interfere with life, and those about whom the song "I'm restless, calm me down" seem to be composed lose for a meaningless occupation – neither more nor less – 5 years! Our portal will tell you how to stop worrying.
The habit of constantly worrying takes 5 years of life
British scientists, commissioned by a homeopathic medicine company, after conducting research on this addiction, came to amazing conclusions: constant worry threatens to feel unwell, disturbed sleep, ruined relationships with loved ones, even losing your job at times! As a result, seemingly natural experiences shorten life, according to the same Britons – 5 years of commercials!
86% of the volunteers who participated in the experiment admitted that they are well aware of the notorious anxiety. On average, this dubious pleasure takes 110 minutes a day – for a week it runs 12 hours, that is, half a day !!! It turns out that by the age of 64 a person "was worried" for 4 years, 11 months. Think about these figures: almost 5 years have been thrown out of life – taken away from communication with dear people, from rest, pleasures, opportunities for self-development…
In the ranking of the concerns of modern man, the first position is occupied by — relations with superiors, employees, fear of screwing up, being branded as a non-professional, not getting a promotion, losing a job.
Among the causes of anxiety, work occupies the first place. Second – financial problems, the third, oddly enough, – being late. Worries about health take only 4th place. "Worrying Ten" problems with relationships, transport, appearance, family safety and, ironically, with an alarm clock that did not work on time, also filled up.
The last point is simply deadly: is a failed alarm clock worth 5 years of life?! Perhaps this example most clearly proves the uselessness, the failure of unnecessary experiences. But the most interesting thing is that 40% of what we worry about, what we are afraid of, never happens! This, having calculated, was proved by the American psychologist Walter Calvert. It also follows from his research:
- a third of the experience concerns the past – it cannot be changed;
- 12% anxiety – because of someone else's opinion about us, we also have no influence on this;
- one tenth of all experiences – nothing at all, unworthy of attention, for example, what shoes to wear, what bread to buy, whether you closed the door when you left;
- only 8% of concerns – things are really serious, and we cannot influence half of them. These are such terrible events as, for example, the risk of a natural disaster, the death of a loved one.
Dry residue: only 4% of worries are really justified. The rest – waste of time, effort, nerves.
How to Stop Worrying: 4 Simple But Powerful Steps
The danger of anxiety is also in the fact that this feeling has the ability to grow like a snowball: going to bed with the notorious “if only the alarm would ring”, we get up in the morning with the thought “I’ll be late for work”, from which half a step to “me fired" And off we go: a bad parent, because the son brought a deuce yesterday; with such a dubious appearance, marriage is not to be seen; bad report – the bonus will be covered…Most often suffer from excessive anxiety:
- perfectionists,
- pessimists;
- fatalists;
- lovers of unjustified risk;
- maximalists;
- always doubting;
- fearing uncertainty;
- overly responsible.
How to stop worrying, especially over trifles? There are 4 simple, but effective steps that, despite their simplicity, can fill the soul, thoughts with calmness. In this case, the main – change thoughts, giving them the right direction. Simply suppressing restless thoughts will not bring the expected result. After all, the force of action is equal to the force of opposition, and the more actively you suppress anxiety, the more persistently it will climb out of all the cracks. Therefore, we will use a tricky technique under the conditional name "Yes, fuck him!":
Step 1: Look at the anxiety from the outside. Imagine that not you, but the neighbor's aunt Motya is constantly worried. Look carefully at how she does it, what she thinks about. Conduct a clear "inventory-identification" her thoughts, looking from the side. Something like this: “Motya is afraid of embarrassing herself at a meeting with a report. Here's a strange one! So let him check it again, read it aloud at home & hellip; ". Many of Mothina's experiences will seem so unimportant…
Step 2: Allow the worry to return. Experience it yourself, but exclusively actively, drawing black pictures, scary scenarios. At the same time, fix the emerging sensations, feelings. Control emotions without suppressing them – this is extremely important. And feel sorry for yourself. If suddenly it doesn't work – right through the force, evoke sympathy for yourself, your loved one. It will immediately become easier, then you will want to reward yourself for suffering, for example, bake a delicious cake, watch your favorite movie. In general, unrest will be forgotten. Then it will become very good, a thought will arise (the right thought!): “I should have taken care of the cake right away, without preliminary worries.”
Step 3: Freeze. If possible, stop acting to eliminate the negative impact of black thoughts on actions. Any activity while negative emotions are still alive contributes to increased anxiety. If you take the "vacation for emotional settling down" there is no possibility, try to suppress the desire for compulsive actions: for example, at an interview, being unsure of your abilities, do not behave ingratiatingly with a potential employer or, conversely, cheekily, aggressively. Learn to ignore desires to do so.
Step 4: Do it differently. Having clearly realized through the first and second steps how you react to restless thoughts, take an action that is absolutely opposite to the intended reaction. Do you usually hide when you see your boss walking? – Now boldly go to meet him, saying hello first. Postponing a visit to the dentist until the tooth starts to crumble? – Go to the doctor without weighty – in the form of a toothache – reasons, just for inspection (especially since it is useful for everyone to do this once every six months).
An overly worried person often commits compulsive actions, for example, an insecure applicant at an interview behaves either ingratiatingly, or vice versa – aggressively. After that, he worries even more because of his wrong behavior. It turns out a vicious circle.
After taking 4 steps, realizing how to stop worrying, you yourself will be surprised how much easier life turns out to be, and most importantly – brighter, "tastier". After all, we remember that 96% of concerns – empty, useless. Fill their place with ninety-six percent of joyful moments, friendly gatherings, travel, new books, films – what a find! Have you already decided how to fill the freed 5 years of life? Worried about not knowing where to start? Start with 4 steps!
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