Psychology

Negative human emotions: splash out or suppress

Негативные эмоции человека: выплескивать или подавлять

There are many unpleasant situations in our lives. Sometimes we feel like it's like a roller-coaster: good failures, conflicts at home and at work, unexpected force majeure situations, obsessive thoughts and anxiety. Everything causes negative or positive emotions in us.

   negative emotions are more difficult to deal with than positive ones, but     are inseparable from life. We take our hand away from a hot object because it hurts. So negative human emotions — it is a response to external stimuli. But to stay balanced, you need to be able to handle your emotions.

Negative human emotions: 7 steps to deal with them

Usually we understand that anger, irritation, resentment, hostility towards other — these are the feelings that we can splash out on the people around us. We hide      suppress   show     This happens repeatedly, and as a result, negativity accumulates, which never goes away. We become like a full boiling kettle, from which water splashes. So  our feelings break through: they develop into a deep conflict, difficult experiences, uncontrollable behavior.

Read also: People's habits that lead to depression

In order for emotions not to be destructive, we don't need to deny them. You need to learn to accept any feelings and understand what exactly causes negativity. When the reason is clear, we can correct the situation, change our view of it and transform negative feelings into positive experiences.

There is a certain psychological algorithm for this. You may not succeed the first time. But by repeatedly repeating these psychological techniques, you will change your internal state. Your life will become calmer, anxiety and irritability will go away, you will learn to control yourself.

So what to do:

  1. Acknowledge your emotion — this is the first step in  working on feelings. But this does mean you have to express them to anyone. Frankly admit to yourself what you are experiencing: anger, irritation, envy. Step back from the situation, be a dispassionate observer, and evaluate your feelings.

  2. Pay attention to how emotion affects your behavior. For example, if you are angry, talk loudly, use fast language, use hard language, gesticulate vigorously. If you are sad, you listen to minor music, cry or just lie in bed. Understanding how your emotions affect behavior is very important.

  3. Tell yourself that an emotion won't last forever.

    Emotions don't usually "stick" for a long time. Therefore, sometimes it seems that we are on an emotional swing: good is replaced by bad, bad by good. This is what our life is made of. If you feel something negative, remember that it will not last forever, just like physical pain. In the end, "a broken bone will heal." This also applies to negative feelings.

  4. Find out what causes negative emotions.

    Once you named the emotion, noticed how it affects behaviour, and told that anger, blues, or resentment don last forever, the next step  — to determine where this or that emotion came from. Don blame yourself or anyone else for negative feelings, just try to identify the cause.

  5. Accept your emotions.

    Accept — it's not easy to recognize and  name an emotion. You need to tell yourself: “Yes, these are my feelings, I can’t change them, but it doesn’t mean that I are angry all the time. Tell yourself that you feel what you should feel. Even if it's not the best experience. Negative emotions are inherent in absolutely everyone — it is a response to reality. But they are mutable and do do define a person as a person.

  6. Return to the present moment.

    You recognized and named emotions, noticed how it affected your behavior, figured out the cause, and said it won not last forever. Now is the time to calmly continue what you d been doing. If you need a short break after a surge of negative emotions, take it. Go for a walk, exercise, call a friend, listen to your favorite music. Do whatever you can to get out of negative emotions and bring yourself back to the present moment. We live here and now.

  7. Learn from an emotional response.

    There is a reason for every negative feeling. If negative emotions — a normal, healthy reaction to then then take steps to help deal with emotions. Don ignore them, but draw conclusions and get useful information that you will use in the future.

Read also: 

Chronic stress: how to identify and solve the problem Learn to deal with emotions — make your life happy

Now you can handle any negative emotion — sadness, anger, disappointment, anxiety. It's up to you. You will be in control of your life, make informed decisions, determine what you need. Good or bad mood — it is not only a reaction to what is happening, but and a conscious choice to overcome any difficulties.

This kind of inner work will change your life for the better. You, and not emotions, will be in control of the situation. You will achieve peace of mind, inner balance, be able to objectively assess the situation and be a happy and free person.

Read also: 

What is passive aggression and where does it lead

You may be interested in: Memory Test.


  • Comments (1)

    Сергей#10428
    11 марта 2019, 11:44

    Очень жизненная информация. Скину другу ссылку, а то у него с этим беда, и себе в закладки добавлю. Спасибо автору за великолепную статью)


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