Emotions that cause discomfort are usually called sinful (anger, envy), inappropriate (jealousy, grief) or unhealthy (sadness, shame). However, in fact, negative emotions do not deserve such an attitude, because they also have a downside and are of some benefit.
Let's look at the positive role of negative emotions that can be used as tools for self-improvement.
Anger
It may seem that anger – this is an emotion that indicates a loss of control over oneself, because often an angry person does things that are uncharacteristic for himself. However, a person experiencing any strong emotion is capable of such a thing.
Anger arises when a person feels unappreciated. It helps a person to avoid exploitation of himself. If you know what you deserve and the other person's idea of it doesn't match yours, you get angry.
Actually, the anger associated with feeling unappreciated helps you get your way. It can help you get the upper hand in negotiations. Of course, anger that turns into rage can be destructive, but you can’t keep everything in yourself – it is fraught with depression.
Anger pushes us to action. While most negative emotions bind our hands, anger has the opposite effect – it enhances self-confidence and helps to decide on more.
Shame, guilt, embarrassment
Without social interaction, humanity would not be able to survive. Living in society requires us to observe social and moral rules. When we break one of these rules, it is important to get back on the path of sanity in time. It is shame, embarrassment and guilt that help to do this.
The discomfort that comes with these emotions forces us to look for the cause of the discomfort and eliminate it. People learn from their mistakes only if they realize what they did wrong. Guilt makes us apologize to others, be more generous, and even help strangers.
The embarrassed people blush. And you can't fake it. If an embarrassed person blushes, those around them actually see that the person is embarrassed. He seems to be apologizing without saying a word. Therefore, others tend to trust such people more and treat them more gently.
Envy and Jealousy
Success (financial, in personal life, work, etc.) largely depends on our social status and resources. A person evaluates the degree of his happiness by comparing himself with others. We don't have to be the best to feel happy – it is enough just to be better than the people around us (neighbors, acquaintances, colleagues). What a person experiences, being worse than others, can be called a mixture of indignation, resentment and shame, or simply envy.
Envy can be both good and bad. White envy motivates us to self-improvement, awakens the desire to improve our position in society, to become more successful. If we admire some person, we try to be something like him, while being a little jealous.
As far as jealousy is concerned, it is known to arise when a third person appears on the way who poses a threat to the relationship or family. The feeling of jealousy in itself is not so bad, because thanks to it a person can become better, trying to show his partner that he is worthy of love and respect. Jealousy also often helps couples take a critical look at their relationship and improve it.
Fear
Fear has large eyes: a person experiencing fear expands his eyes, nostrils, he seems to tune in to a more effective perception of information with the help of his senses. Fear draws in our imagination the worst scenarios and, accordingly, options for salvation: where to run, how to fight back, where to call, etc. The brain is tuned to find a solution to an urgent problem.
However, threats are different: a threat to life, health, a threat to reputation or relationships. Fear of loneliness, for example, makes us behave in a way that preserves existing relationships and ties in society: be softer, make concessions, etc.
Thus, fear makes it possible to assess risks and plan several moves ahead. People who have a severely blunted sense of fear (for example, due to brain injury or alcohol intoxication) do things that can have dire consequences.
Regret and disappointment
If only I… We regret what happened or didn't happen because of the decisions we made. We are sorry for the capacity for counterfeit thinking – opportunity to consider alternate realities. Regret allows us to learn and plan.
It is regret that most often makes us think about the mistakes we have made, helping us remember the wrong actions. “I’m a fool! Why didn’t I do the work on time? I had to sit at night, now I didn’t get enough sleep and I feel bad. Next time I won’t make such a mistake!”. Research has shown that the more painful our mistakes, the more likely we are not to make them in the future.
People who are good at regret see life as more multifaceted, open to new things, and tend to form closer, more secure relationships. After all, only realizing that a person has lost, he can learn a lesson and learn to appreciate what he has.
Unlike regret, which pushes us towards change, learning, and the desire to correct what we have done, disappointment makes us give up, give up. Frustration occurs when the outcome does not live up to our expectations and we feel powerless. But disappointment also has its advantages – sometimes we just need time to gather our thoughts, enlist the support and / or help of others and move towards the goal with renewed vigor.
Boredom
A person becomes bored if all his labors and efforts do not bring something important or new. And boredom gives rise to a desire to do something new or find yourself some kind of occupation or task: learn a foreign language, sign up for dancing, read an interesting book. All this undoubtedly contributes to self-improvement.
Sadness and depression
Sadness makes a person more rational, and his thinking – more specific. A sad person thinks deeper, he is more sensitive and, unlike a happy person, is not prone to superficial thinking, hypertrophied self-esteem or risks. It is also ironic that by surrendering to the power of sadness, you can get out of depression.
It is worth noting that depression – it is not necessarily a disease. It can occur as a normal reaction to difficult life situations. Depression helps to focus on the problem, while discarding all distractions, and solve it faster and more efficiently.
Based on the foregoing, we can conclude that the role of negative emotions for the personal and social development of a person is very, very large. When you look at sadness, anger, fear, or even depression in the right way, you can achieve more than you think. Therefore, instead of thinking about how to get rid of negative emotions, accept them, direct them in the right direction– and you will see how much easier life will become.
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