In the conditions of modern life in big cities, people are increasingly faced with a sense of loneliness. This experience can reach a person who is among people. Watching the lives of others, there is a comparison of relationships: one's own and other people's. Often people worry about this and think about loneliness, being subject to stereotypes. And if this process is not in our favor, feelings are triggered that can be interpreted as loneliness. In the article we will talk about what a person's loneliness is and how it affects his life.
Personal life and thoughts about human loneliness
Every person feels lonely at certain times. Its social nature encourages to look for like-minded people by interests, occupations, partners for gender relations. However, there are individual differences in the subjective perception of the same feeling by different people. For many people in creative professions, as well as in the presence of frequent contacts, being in solitude becomes a desirable state. More often, those who experience anxiety, fear of losing friends, who have experienced the loss of a loved one or a break in interpersonal ties think about the loneliness of a person more often. Eminent psychotherapist Irvin Yalom believes that facing loss contributes to the experience of loneliness.
Loss or disappointment in close contacts contributes to feelings of loneliness. It is important not to sink into a depressed mood during such periods of life, to look for ways to assert yourself.
In such cases, this feeling can border on anxiety, deep depression and depression. Often also a combination of loneliness with a feeling of uselessness, and then anger and sadness. People rarely turn to a psychologist in such cases, replacing professional help with conversations with someone. And this is an error – a good psychologist will find exactly those reasons that led in a particular case to experiencing this feeling.
Do we all know about human loneliness
Human experiences are largely related to adaptability in social life. Depending on the ideas about this, the experience gained in childhood and socio-cultural stereotypes, the desired level of contacts, social ties is formed. In this context, it is important to distinguish between:
- Social factors leading to this uneasy feeling;
- Relationship stereotypes common in society at the time;
- Inconsistency of subjective motives and motivations;
- Non-differentiation of the idea of one's own "I".
Being in a social environment, a person learns from childhood the impulse to please others. Often this is embodied in reality excessively, a person loses his orientation in relation to the inner world, true desires. Activity in this case will show an escape from existential questions: why do I live and what should I do?
Illusory notions of happiness make many people be active for the sake of being active, just not to look inside themselves and not ask themselves, do I really need this right now?
Often without reflecting on the reasons for what is happening, people get a discrepancy between ideas about the real and desired own "I". Periods of change in the usual environment of communication or the loss of loved ones can lead to a crisis in the desired level and number of social contacts. Following this, a person thinks more actively about loneliness.
Don't give in to loneliness: life loves optimists.
One of the reasons why we are lonely may be the mismatch between beliefs and the dominant cultural environment. The involvement of people in various groups gives strong motivating and inspiring emotions. With a decrease in contacts or a sharp change in the social structure, people may not feel belonging to the cultural environment. In this case, "cultural loneliness" is formed; and "loneliness in the crowd." Such phenomena – a consequence of modern processes of globalization and changes in the social way of life of people. These factors can lead to the true manifestation of this feeling.
How can we overcome this obsessive and unpleasant experience that so painfully seizes us? In any case, it is important to understand its causes: as you can see, they are different. If loneliness is adjacent to depression, you should consult a doctor. This is the first step to forget about human loneliness. It is important during this period not to forget about physical activity to keep fit. Show your emotions, don't keep them to yourself. Look for opportunities to let the world know that you are lonely and want change.
The new phenomena of modern society do not contribute to the unification of people. Appreciate and maintain close relationships, not allowing society to alienate you from full communication.
Fill your life with different impressions, go to theaters, to exhibitions. There will definitely be like-minded people who share your views and needs. If you need a loved one – look for it in different ways. This is possible by doing hobbies, interest groups and many different places where people communicate.
Read also: Cognitive psychotherapy: how to understand your thoughts
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