Harm of self-criticism: 9 ways to get rid of dissatisfaction with yourself

Even the most picky critic from side will not see as many shortcomings in us as we  ourselves. We get out of strength, getting all the best results: more, higher, faster. Should we give up or just stop for a while, make a mistake — and  here the most severe self-criticism is included. We & nbsp; accuse ourselves of & nbsp; laziness, lack of initiative, stupidity. It doesn't improve mood, it doesn't add energy. Everything we receive — depression and low self-esteem. It's time to solve this problem.

• Where does self-criticism come from and why is it harmful
• 9 ways to "shoot" your inner critic
• The main thing about hows to get rid of the habit of self-criticism

Where does self-criticism come from and why is it harmful

Most often, the habit of self-criticism appears in childhood. Initially, the child has no grades. Judgments "what is good, what is bad" instilled by parents. They same criticize if the child does wrong. Feedback — helplessness, fear of being rejected. The older a child gets, the more he turns into "the inner parent" for myself.

Follow us on Instagram

Self-criticism — it is a way of an adult to evaluate his actions, words, actions. One nuance: people treat themselves biasedly, make excessive demands, therefore they criticize harshly, uncompromisingly. Hence the self-abasement, the habit of self-blame, low self-esteem and, as a result, new failures and another flurry of self-criticism. The vicious circle closes.

Read also: A student syndrome: how to allow yourself to be imperfect

9 way to "shoot" your inner critic

Perfectionism and harsh self-criticism affect efficiency and speed of work, relationships with loved ones, children, friends. These are bad habits that poison life.

To free yourself from self-criticism, use the following techniques:

1. Remember, you are valuable regardless of success. Personality is valuable in itself. It is not at all necessary to be an outstanding person, to achieve dizzying success, to conquer peaks. You love, work, create, take care of your loved ones. You — the whole universe, and & nbsp; it is priceless. Remind yourself of this when it hits you with a wave of self-blame.

2. Set realistic expectations. Excessive demands on oneself often grow out of envy of others. Social media is especially helpful in this. After looking at pictures of a beautiful life, a person strives to achieve the same success, and when failure befalls him, the time of self-criticism comes. To prevent this from happening in your life, compare yourself only with yourself in the past, celebrate progress and rejoice in it.

3. Recognize your own successes. People often underestimate their own achievements and overestimate others. Remember your successes and dignities, appreciate  them. Yes, you have flaws, like everyone. This is not a reason to gnaw at every mistake and stubbornly eradicate all "bad".

4. Accept your weaknesses. You are not all-powerful, and that's okay. There are many things that are given to you with difficulty. Recognize and accept your weaknesses. Remember, everyone has them, so self-blame because of flaws is pointless and destructive. Don't dwell on weaknesses and stop being burnt with shame because of them.

5. Forgive yourself. It is often easier to forgive your worst enemy than to forgive yourself. Be kind to yourself, show empathy and understanding. You are imperfect, accept it and silence your angry inner critic if you make a mistake.

6. View failures as new opportunities. History knows many examples where complete failures became new starts. If you fail, analyze the situation, draw conclusions and move on. Do without value judgments about yourself, because the collapse is not the end, but the beginning of something new.

7. Stop looking for approval from others. If your self-esteem depends on the people around you, you will harass yourself with self-criticism every time someone expresses disapproval or does not pay attention to your achievements . Don let others rule your life, value your own opinion.

8. Avoid pessimists and  negatives. Are there people in your environment who poison any undertakings and achievements with criticism? Drive them away! If you are not  respected, downvoted and considered a loser, you should find other acquaintances. Chat with optimists and lovers of life. With them, you will also learn to look at the world positively and weaken the pincers of perfectionism.

9. Don't argue with the inner critic. In the event of a serious setback, a person will severely criticize himself and at the same time look for excuses. It turns out a kind of internal dialogue of the "prosecutor" and "lawyer". Don't trust the "prosecutor" to word. If his negative statements are not confirmed by facts, then you are guided by the judgments laid down in you before. These are the attitudes of parents, teachers, environment. Are they absolutely correct? Check.

Read also: The Victim Syndrome: 5 Steps From Self-Deprecation to Freedom

First Biblical Commandment — love your neighbor as yourself. It implies an even more important requirement — to start loving yourself. Accept this as a zero commandment, if not divine, then personally yours. Let it be the foundation of your self-esteem.

Read also: How to love yourself: working on yourself

The main thing about hows to get rid of the habit of self-criticism

We've been taught from childhood that we need to be kind, sympathetic and come to help people. We follow this set-up strictly when it comes to others, but forget to apply these rules to ourselves. It's time to break the bad habit of self-criticism:

• Always remember your value. If someone in your environment belittles your dignity, leave without regret. You don   go along       critics, pessimists, minusers and rude 

• Adjust your expectations. Don't compare yourself to beautiful fitness ladies and  billionaires from Instagram. The only person against whom comparisons are allowed is — you yourself.

• Identify and accept your strengths and weaknesses. Don't try to be more than perfect. Be kind to your shortcomings and blunders.

Follow us on Telegram

"Shooting" your inner critic, you will become calmer, more balanced. High self-esteem will help you achieve greater success and well-being. That is happiness.

Read also: The truth about social media: is why compare your life with someone else's

You may be interested in: Memory Test.