Pros and cons of partner childbirth: how to determine the readiness of a husband

Partner births – one of the most controversial and discussed topics in society regarding family life. This trendy phenomenon usually has an equal number of supporters and opponents. And each side can bring several weighty arguments in favor or, conversely, against childbirth in the presence of her husband.

How to understand whether it is worth giving birth with your spouse? In this article, we will present the arguments for and against partner childbirth, and also explain how to determine if your other half is ready to go through such a secret sacrament together. After reading this material, it will be easier for readers to decide on the answer to the question of whether it is worth taking a husband with you to childbirth.

Pros and cons of having a husband present at birth

Discussions about whether to take your spouse with you to the delivery room will probably never end. And the arguments of both sides have weight. Read and listen to them carefully before making an important decision.

Pros of partner birth:

1. Practical help for a woman in labor who cannot control anything on her own. When a woman has contractions, she can completely lose her head and stop thinking adequately, so it’s convenient if there is a loved one nearby who can call a doctor in time, help go to the toilet, give a relaxing massage, help take a comfortable position, etc.
2. Control over the medical staff. In our country, alas, the level of trust in doctors and obstetricians is not at a very high level, and the presence of another person next to the woman in labor, who monitors the birth from the side, will serve as a guarantee of quality work and a responsible attitude of the staff towards the woman in labor and the child.
3. Psychological support. A woman in labor experiences pain, fear and anxiety at the same time before the unknown (especially if this is the first-born), and the presence of a loved one undoubtedly inspires confidence and reassures.
4. Assist with the initial care of the newborn. If the birth was difficult, then in the first hours, the mother will need rest and healthy sleep to restore strength (especially if there was a caesarean section). At this time, the father can take the first care of the baby (provided that he has an idea about caring for the child or has been trained for partner birth at a special training, or simply follows the advice of the medical staff).
5. Joint experiences and emotions from the birth of a child bring many couples together and strengthen their union.
6. Partner births stimulate the paternal instinct. If the maternal instinct flourishes even during pregnancy due to hormonal changes in the body, then men often do not imagine until the last what their life will be like after the appearance of heirs, and in the future they do not seek to help their wife in caring for a child, considering it alien to themselves. Active participation in childbirth for a man can be a catalyst for awakening the paternal instinct no worse than hormonal and physiological changes for a woman.

Joint experiences and emotions from the birth of a child bring many couples together and strengthen their union.

It would seem that the advantages of joint childbirth are so solid that few things can overshadow them. However, there are many families whose experience of partner births has become less rosy. Therefore, it is worth remembering about the shortcomings of the presence of a husband in the delivery room.

Cons of partner birth:

1. With a certain sensitivity or, for example, fear of the sight of blood, a man can get psychologically traumatized. Stories about how in the delivery room the representative of the stronger sex fainted, and obstetricians, instead of giving birth, also had to pump him out – these are not jokes or medical stories, but quite a common occurrence in maternity hospitals. Childbirth – this spectacle is not for the faint of heart, and it is worth sensibly assessing the emotional stability of a man. Even if a husband madly loves his soul mate, the sight of a hellishly suffering bloodied beloved woman and the inability to help her can remain in front of a man’s eyes for life, and then he will also have to attend psychoanalyst sessions.
2. While for some couples, joint births seal the union, for others they destroy the marriage. From the point of view of psychology, if there are the slightest cracks in a relationship, then such a tough test and a powerful emotional outburst, like a partner birth, will only increase the gap between the spouses.
3. Loss of sexual interest in wife in the future. A very controversial aspect, however, in life this sometimes happens – some men simply cannot then perceive their beloved as a sexual object, remembering the sight of the birth of a child from her womb.
4. Complexes and psychological discomfort of a woman in labor. It is a paradox, but some women in labor are not reassured by the presence of a loved one, but vice versa. Usually this concerns the complexes of women who are afraid to appear before their husband in an unsightly appearance and are afraid that the attitude of a loved one towards them will change later. And if a woman in labor cannot relax, then childbirth can be complicated and delayed.
5. Excessive fussiness of an outsider in the delivery room can interfere with the medical staff. If a man turns out to be mentally unprepared for childbirth, he may begin to fuss, get nervous, "get in the way"; at doctors and obstetricians, interfering with their work. In this case, the future father can simply be removed from the delivery room.

As you can see, everything is ambiguous – advantages can often turn into disadvantages, like two sides of the same coin. However, no one better than the woman herself, who intuitively knows the nature and character traits of her beloved better than anyone else, will be able to predict how he will behave during childbirth.

With a certain sensitivity or fear of the sight of blood, a man can get psychologically traumatized. Childbirth – the spectacle is not for the faint of heart, and it is worthwhile to reasonably assess the emotional stability of a man.

How can I tell if my husband is ready for a partner birth?

First of all, try to take a sensible and objective look at the character of your husband. After all, if your loved one shudders at the sight of a doctor with a syringe in his hands, or he becomes ill at the sight of a cut finger, then it is clear that the idea of ​​partner childbirth is doomed to failure in advance.

Also evaluate the nature of your family relationships. If you are not used to asking for support from your husband during an illness or appearing with him only in full dress, then it is also better to refuse the idea of ​​​​joint birth.

To make the right decision, make sure that your husband or family relationship does not fall under any of the following:

• Husband has never seen you without makeup and hair.
• Your husband – very impressionable person.
• Your spouse is afraid of the sight of blood.
• A man does not tolerate stress well and does not know how to quickly adapt to unforeseen situations.
• Your husband himself expressed his unwillingness to be present at the birth of his child – it’s better not to insist and not put pressure on accepting his choice.
• Your marriage is on the wane and you think that having a baby together will help mend the cracks. – will not help: such a "strength test" will only hasten the collapse of the relationship (the practical experience of many couples is evidence of this).

If the relationship between the spouses is close and strong, and the husband is morally ready for anything and he himself wished to be present in the delivery room, then we can recommend that the couple go through a special training together in advance to prepare for partner childbirth. So a man will be ready for any unforeseen situations and armed with knowledge of how to act in them.

If a husband is ready for a joint birth, but is afraid of the unpredictability of his reaction, there are compromise options. The partner can be nearby during contractions (this is the longest process), but at the same time go out into the corridor when the birth itself begins. Or during childbirth, stand at the head of the couch so that you can only see the face of your wife and not look into an intimate place.

If your husband is not ready for a joint birth, but you are anxious, panicked and know for sure that the presence of a loved one will calm and cheer you up, then you can ask other close people for support. Partnership childbirth in our time — it is not necessarily the presence of the husband. Upon agreement with the staff and the availability of the necessary medical certificates, any of your loved ones can be in the delivery room – mother, sister or even best friend.

If your marriage is on the wane and you think that having a baby together will help "glue the cracks together", then you are wrong: such a "strength test" will only hasten the collapse of the relationship.

In making a decision on the expediency of partner childbirth, the main role should be played by a deep and comprehensive discussion between the spouses of this topic, a frank mutual expression of points of view and a sensible look at each other's weaknesses. We hope that the advice of our portal will help readers make the right decision for them.