There are many teachings and recommendations on how to learn to manipulate people in order to gain profit. But, not everyone wants to fall under the role of a controlled person in order to follow the orders of another person and be a puppet. The doctrine of yoga teaches how to be in harmony with yourself and your body, complementing each other. Yoga masters have deduced 12 natural rules on how to resist the manipulator and save your Self.
These rules are conveyed to the society by the guru of the teachings of yoga, Ar Santema. And the only condition for the successful following of these laws is harmony with oneself.
How to resist a manipulator: 12 laws
Law #1 – Do you want it – so you do it
It is not new to anyone that there are individuals who are capable of being leaders, but there are people who, by their nature, can only obey, carrying out the instructions of others. That's just the success of communication between these two personalities occurs if management is not likened to manipulation. That is, when there are no orders to carry out assignments that have a clear desire to benefit not in their own direction, but for the common good. It often turns out the opposite, that the manipulator disguises his desire and his benefit under a benevolent tone. Therefore, always at the first signs of management, one should ask the question: Who needs it? For whose benefit am I working? Then it will immediately become clear whose desire is of greater importance.
Law #2 – Keep the promise you made, or don't promise anything
How do you resist a manipulator who first urges you to make a promise you can't keep, and then takes advantage of the guilt of not keeping it? It's best not to promise anything to anyone. Because no one owes anything to anyone. And if it so happened that a promise was snatched from you, then you will have to fulfill it. And next time, do not make vain promises and do not take on additional obligations that will then hang like a sword of Damocles.
Law #3 – Don't go first unless asked
Good intentions can play a cruel joke on those who decide to help someone in need. To help in trouble, first of all ask if the person needs help at all and the hand is from you. It may happen that such a situation becomes piecemeal and a person wants to receive help from another person and you can ruin everything. Helping a person first, without consent, is worth it if life depends on your support.
Take, for example, a lady in the office who needs help to collect literature scattered across the floor. And you rush from the other end of the hall to collect all the documents and reveal the nobility. Think, or rather ask if you need help in this matter. Maybe this behavior is specially rigged so that not you, but another noble gentleman, can help and start a conversation. Simply put, everything is set up to get to know each other, and your help here will be clearly superfluous and may plunge the whole plan into failure.
Law #4 – Never refuse a request from another person
If a person asked for help by doing a favor. Then you can immediately take a promise, repay for the service rendered and also do something useful in return. Giving help when asked involves gratitude, which can play into your hands. Usually, manipulators forget about the services you have provided, do not delay responding to the request for a long time.
Law #5 – Live only in the present, avoid the future and the past
The past has already passed, nothing can be changed or returned, the future is far away, and few people know what will happen tomorrow. Therefore, it is best to live in the present and enjoy its benefits. When the manipulator wants to accuse and evoke feelings of guilt with the words: You have never said or done this before! Then you have the right to answer that the past is already behind you and it is common for everyone to change. And if you are overtaken by a case when they try to control you, sending you to the future. That can be answered with a question: Do you know what will happen? Me not. What exactly are you offering today? Or what is my benefit now? Manipulation will dissipate by itself.
Law #6 – Never get too attached to other people, activities, work
When a person becomes attached to another person with all his soul, or "lives" his work, while burning completely, then the harmony disappears, leaving only a void. Usually people who know how to find your weakness, strong attachment to something, begin to blackmail. So don't let others play on your affection and take advantage of your weakness.
Law #7 – Don't set goals, goal – it's a beacon and nothing more
This law borders on right and wrong and everyone can accept it or not. How to resist the manipulator, while not setting goals? And what about the lighthouse? A person is guided by the lighthouse, but goals can change in the procession of life. If a teenager is told that it is necessary to get a higher education, and only the highest class in a prestigious educational institution? For what purpose? What is the direction here? To succeed, higher education can not always help. You can start your own business without a degree. Just prioritize yourself, yoga guru says.
Law #8 – Don't bother others and yourself
Always try to put yourself in the other person's shoes, and if you decide to intervene in a conversation or task, think about it, would you like to be interrupted? The same applies to yourself. Do not stop yourself from developing and achieving what you want.
Law #9 – Nature always has good weather
It's certainly not about the weather, but about the fact that it's worth learning from everything that happens, even if disappointment or loss overtook. Manipulators will covertly or openly annoy and remind you of failures in order to control you and your mood. Here remember the main rule that there is no bad or good, but there is only an attitude to everything and experience.
Law #10 – Do not judge or criticize other people
Make it a rule for yourself not to criticize or judge anyone. If criticism has been thrown at you, then try not to judge in response. Such behavior will definitely disarm the manipulator, who hopes for a retaliatory strike of criticism. Instead of criticizing, offer to change the situation and ask how it can be done better.
Law #11 – Serve as a source of only verified information
If you are already serving as a distributor of information further, to other people, then always check the authenticity so as not to get into trouble and not become a deceiver or gossip.
Law #12 – Always ask permission
Ask permission to do something, it was said in the law on mutual assistance. Only permission can relate not only to help, but in general to everything: conversation and appeal, behavior and friendship. Thus, a polite aura is created on your part. Just ask with confidence and inner strength, so as not to seem like a person who doubts everything, fearful. Ask in a way that makes it seem like you care about the other person and their reputation first and foremost. Thus, all the rules as a whole create that invisible, but working shield from manipulators.
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