Love is a necessary component in human life. Without it, there is no incentive to live, work, move forward. But very often we confuse the concepts of love and dependence on a person. It can be emotional dependence, psychological or physical. Sometimes, not understanding the situation, we fall into the trap of our feelings for a partner, narrowing our world down to a small space around him. The rest, as it were, ceases to exist, and your whole life is filled only with his dreams, problems and comfort. Such an attitude can extend not only to a loved one, but also to children.
What is love?
To understand at what stage your feelings for your partner are, be sure to be alone. If a person is happy alone with himself, then his feelings for another may well be called love.
True conscious love should inspire respect, maintaining the personal boundaries of your partner. First of all, this feeling should cause the joy of realizing that you yourself love. Pain in this case is already a reason to think about the pathological changes in your feelings.
True feelings involve frankness and trust in each other. No need to try to look your best and hide your emotions, there is always the opportunity to share and “hide” in the care and understanding of a loved one. Do not be afraid to be rejected and condemned for wrong deeds.
Another component of love is physical attraction. Despite all the difficulties and misunderstandings, people are still able to enjoy each other intimately. They do not look for replacements on the side if something does not suit them, but solve problems together and find compromises.
Loyalty to a partner plays the last role in creating a strong and harmonious relationship. Despite the large number of temptations, truly loving people remain faithful to each other in any situation. If there are punctures in this regard, sometimes they are capable of forgiveness and understanding.
Distinctive features of emotional dependence on a partner
What is addiction? How is it different from love? Let's look at her distinctive features and fight together for a healthy relationship that brings only joy:
- When a person obsesses over the needs and needs of his partner, he loses himself. Without an object of adoration, he cannot feel like a full-fledged person. Something is missing all the time. Every minute spent without a loved one (beloved) seems lost and unnecessary.
- A person stops developing on his own, all his energy goes to create benefits and comfort for his soul mate. For which he expects constant praise and recognition of his achievements. Relationships take on a state of painful dependence. It is even physically difficult for you to breathe when your loved ones are not around.
- Emotional dependence is akin to such diseases as: alcoholism, drug addiction and gambling. Without receiving the “next dose”, a person experiences a state of a kind of withdrawal. From here grow legs and all-consuming jealousy. We try to tear our loved ones away from their social circle so that they belong entirely to us. We examine “under the microscope” his (her) reactions to the surrounding people and situations, all the time we are looking for a catch. We start monitoring social networks and digging into the partner’s phone.
- No matter how much you are together, it will always be not enough for you. You can't get enough of your partner's amount of attention. Often you do not listen to yourself, your needs and needs, sacrifice yourself for the sake of “love” and expect the same response from you.
- However, it is a mistake to think that the object of your adoration also needs to be with you 24 hours a day. Perhaps you yourself do not understand that you are “choking” your partner with constant guardianship and attention. From this, conflicts and discontent can arise, constant disagreements that lead to quarrels, and sometimes to parting.
To make your relationship bring you only joy, understand yourself. Start filling yourself with your own interests and accomplishments. Let you have a reason to be proud of yourself, and not sacrifice your own life to your addiction. If the situation gets out of control, seek the help of a psychologist. Professional help will help you get stronger and make the right decision.
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