Ребёнка обижают в школе – что делать родителям

The problem of bullying (bullying) of children by peers is becoming more and more urgent every year. Psychologists, teachers, law enforcement agencies are working, but the situation is changing little. Often, bullying causes injuries or suicides among teenagers. It leaves a deep mark on the psyche and breaks the future of a person. The most annoying thing is that children do not always share their problems. It is important for parents to notice in time that a child is being bullied at school, and stop it.

6 signs your child is being bullied at school

There are families where children openly talk about everything that happens to them during the day. But it is not uncommon for some really important things to be hushed up. There can be many reasons for this behavior, and this is a separate issue. We look at the most obvious signs of conflict:

  1. Child openly says he doesn want to go to school. It makes sense to ask him about the reasons. This usually indicates problems with one of your peers, high school students, or teachers.

  2. Frequently late for lessons. It is possible that the child consciously tries to spend less time with peers and come as late as possible.

  3. Poor academic performance. It is worth talking to the class teacher, and perhaps observe yourself how the child behaves at changes. School programs are not so scary that children do not learn them. Often they study poorly due to psychological discomfort.

  4. Signs of neurosis, aggression or apathy. Depressed or aggressive child — This is cause for concern for parents. It is especially worth paying attention to signs of a nervous tic, sleep disturbances, eating disorders.

  5. Simulation of illnesses. Children don't just invent illnesses for themselves. If you noted that the child is feigning, do not swear, talk to him heart to 

  6. Spoiled things. If a student's notebooks, clothes are torn, things are missing, this may be a sign that he is offended.

If you have noted at least a couple of signs from this list, visit your class teacher, talk to teachers, a school psychologist. Don panic if it turns out that the child occasionally clashes. This is fine. And here are the systematic attacks — alarming symptom.

Read also: How to mentally prepare your child for school: 10 tips for parents

Reasons for bullying: which children "cause fire on" themselves

Children with atypical appearance are often mocked. Fullness, pimples, crooked teeth, or even "wrong" eye slit can cause severe bullying. If a child cannot stand up for himself, win back his "place in the sun", he will have a hard time.

They often bully poorly dressed, slovenly schoolchildren, children from dysfunctional families. Also in the risk group are too quiet, insecure, slow, unbalanced schoolchildren. One or two precedents — and  bullying such a child is already becoming a habit. The rest of the team follows the example.

It is generally accepted that they offend "nerd" children who spend a lot of time reading books, but missing out on social life. Oddly enough, it was the "nerds" who are often the best at repelling ridicule. The reason for their success — erudition. Such children copy the behavior of the characters in the books. They have a rich vocabulary, which allows you to put offenders in a puddle, unless, of course, it comes to fights.

See also: To read or not to read children's private messages on social networks

With what to start spinning a ball of trouble

We, parents, often ourselves provoke conflicts between our children and their peers. From our reaction, actions and words depends on how the child will behave in difficult situations. Finding a balance is difficult. If we are too protective, our child is ridiculed because of lack of independence. If we let conflicts take their course, explaining that it’s not worth worrying about little things, then we form the thought in the child that he does deserve better.

You can neither give up on the relationship of the child with others, nor totally control. How to be? You should be sensitive to  reports of possible bullying, observe unobtrusively, but intervene only when the child is really unable to handle the situation on his own.

We offer some practical advice from a psychologist:

  • Confidential communication. Talk to child, be sincerely interested in his problems — it is archival. Listen to everything, find time for communication. Do not judge, do not criticize, but listen and understand. The child will feel your support and will trust more.

  • Analyze and act constructively. If a child is being bullied because of their appearance, there are things you can do to correct the situation. Problems of acne, excess weight, alignment of teeth are solvable. Don do not hesitate to seek help experts.

  • Make contact with the school psychologist. He will become your reliable ally and will help out more in difficult situations. Quite often, children tell psychologists much more than their parents.

If your child is bullied at school, be careful. Pay more attention to his appearance, psychological state, stay in touch with teachers.

Read also: What not to say to your child: avoid these phrases

What to do if a child is humiliated and beaten

In the case of obvious bullying, you cannot remain an indifferent spectator. It's time to take drastic measures. Here are the specific actions available to parents to resolve the issue:

  • Immediately prepare an alternate airfield. Often, educators and psychologists are aware of problems, but can can or unwill solve         If you encounter such a situation, gather information about nearby schools and choose the most suitable institutions for your child. You must be ready to transfer it at any minute.

  • Do not leave any serious incident unattended. If the same students are bullying, write a statement to the administration asking to protect the child from these students. If you are persuaded to resolve the issue amicably, do not agree. This will not improve the situation, but here the relevant document may have a positive effect.

  • Contact law enforcement agencies. If a child has been beaten to bruises and scratches, immediately contact the sanitary inspection room of the nearest hospital and remove the beatings, contact the police. If they dissuade you from writing a statement, do not agree.  you must have proof of the beating in case things get worse.

  • Meet me from  school. after school, arrange for an adult to accompany him. Meet yourself or ask your relatives for help.

  • Purchase technical protection equipment. Special phone models are now available with panic buttons, tracking functions, instant voice recorder. If your child is threatened, these devices are indispensable.

Your child's safety comes first. Use whatever means are available to ensure it.

The main thing about helping a child if they are being bullied at school

Ordinary children's conflicts need to be monitored, taken into account, but helping a child is necessary only when he cannot handle himself. And & nbsp; here are serious cases of humiliation, beatings, you can’t slow down on the brakes. To keep in information and get help on time, follow these rules:

  • always listen carefully to the child, support, criticize less in order to maintain his trust;

  • keep in touch with teachers and psychologist;

  • be ready to take action at any moment: transfer your child to another school, make an official statement to administration, or contact the police;

  • buy your child technical protective equipment, a dog repeller.

Remember, if your child is an outcast in the  school environment, it may negatively affect his/her future. Don't become a mother, but and don't to be bullied.

Read also: Supporting children: the power of parental support

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