Infantilism in modern society is not a new phenomenon. You probably noticed that more and more people behave like children: they shift the blame for their actions to circumstances and other people, they don’t know how to stand up for themselves, they constantly complain about fate, they don’t develop, and so on. If you are often told that you behave like a child, then you urgently need to rebuild yourself. This may require hellish work, but it's worth it. After all, you acquire special energy and self-confidence, and most importantly - win over people. In this article, we will discuss with you the most effective ways to grow up.
Why do many adults remain children
If an adult behaves infantile, it means that he simply does not want to grow up or does not know how to do it. In the first case, it is so convenient and easier for a person to live. After all, he does not need to think anything, other people decide for him: where to go to study, who to work with, how much to earn. And why take the blame for your mistakes and mistakes? After all, the case, employee, close friend is to blame for everything. An infantile person does not dare to make decisions and tries in every possible way to escape from responsibility.
There is a psychological theory of E. Bern, according to which a child, an adult and a parent live in each of us.
Unfortunately, such childishness will not lead to good. Sooner or later life will give a kick and then the choice is left to the adult “children” - either continue to whine and complain about fate, or else take life into your own hands and embark on the path of growing up.
The world of adults: what it really is
Adult life is not the same as youth and childhood. Everything is much more serious here. After all, the responsibility for you lies not on the shoulders of your parents, relatives or friends, but on your own. If you're wondering, "How to grow up?" first you need to find out what adult life is, how a fully formed person behaves.
A serious individual is not someone who smokes, drinks alcohol and is sexually active with might and main, but someone who lives separately from his parents and does not depend on them financially, that is, a person who fully provides for himself and does everything myself.
An adult can be easily recognized by what and how he says, what actions and deeds he performs. In his life there is no frequent giggling, like a teenager, and in conversation there are no gossip and empty meaningless topics. He values his time, speaks to the point, and jokes only when it is appropriate.
Domestic and Western psychologists have also defined some criteria for psychological maturity:
- responsibility for one's actions and what is happening around;
- understanding people, love and respect for them;
- making rational, informed decisions;
- the ability to properly communicate with the outside world;
- the ability to be realized in terms of the profession;
- the ability to withstand stress and various difficulties encountered on the path of life.
In addition to this, adults have rich life experience, their world is not chaotic, but more structured. They know where to go, what to do, what goals to set.
Effective Ways to Grow Up
Growing up is hard work. After all, here you need to completely transform your personality, lifestyle and relationships with the outside world. Having done this, you will not recognize yourself - instead of a child in front of a mirror, you will see an adult.
One of the quotes of the popular Indian mystic Osho says that, having taken life into his own hands, a person will be filled with energy and feel unprecedented changes.
There are many ways to grow up. But we will consider the five most effective of them.
1. Train yourself to set big goals
If you want to enter adulthood, you just need to learn how to set goals for yourself. They must be big. It can be mastering a new profession, improving your skills and talents, creating a happy family, achieving material well-being, and so on.
2. Be responsible for yourself and your actions
Adult life is not toys. Here, no one will solve your problems for you. Only a child can hide from them and do nothing. You must understand that you must be responsible for yourself, your actions and for what happens to him. Only by becoming responsible can one live a happy and successful life.
3. Be independent
It is very important to be independent. A developed personality can always take care of himself and others. Therefore, starting from the age of 18, you need to rely only on yourself, and not on other people. It is important to make sure that you provide for yourself and do everything on your own, from choosing a university to making plans for the future.
4. Explore your “I”
In adult life, it is extremely important to accept yourself as you are and look inside yourself in order to carefully examine your "I". After all, only a child does not accept himself and does not understand what he really is. Studying your personality is a sober look at yourself, where all the weaknesses and strengths are visible. Seeing his weaknesses, an adult person must destroy them or turn them into pluses.
Expanding your horizons (travelling, a new favorite activity, attending exhibitions and various events), communicating and meeting new people will also help to carefully study yourself.
5. Act like an adult
And another way to grow up is to act like an adult. Like this? First, you need to learn to control your desires and those that are considered childish should be curbed and directed to more mature goals.
It's also very important to say "No". For example, if you were invited to a noisy party, and you plan to complete an urgent project that evening, then choose the second option. After all, it is he who will lead you to success, and not a party until the morning. And adults also take care of their appearance. They eat only wholesome food, go in for sports, take care of clean skin and hair, wear neat clothes of a more restrained style to work. In addition, you must always be open and honest, and only then will the doors to a successful future open before you.
Growing up may not come out right away, everything will happen with experience. Therefore, be patient and after a while you will achieve what you desire.
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