How to learn to say "no" and easily refuse intrusive people

Nobody likes to refuse. We were taught to help others — this is good. By doing good deeds, people experience the pleasure of realizing the correctness of their actions. And still you have to refuse, because if you constantly deal with other people's problems, there will not be enough time and strength for their own life. Usually, difficulties arise only in those cases when people obsessively demand our help, ignoring objections. Let's figure out how to learn to say "no" politely and decisively.

• Why obsessive people are the hardest thing
• Which opt-out forms can be used
• How to Learn to Say No: 5 Ways to Say No
• The main thing about the art of saying "no" correctly

Why obsessive people are the hardest thing

There is a category of people who don understand rejection at all. They act as if your powers, personal time, and space belong to them. It can be unpleasant to communicate with them, because often the standard reaction to & nbsp; "no" there are persuasion, attempts to convince and & nbsp; additionally argue the request. Obsessive people believe that if someone helped them once, they simply must do it next time.

The worst thing is when perseverance and unwillingness to understand refusals are characteristic of a boss or a loved one. In both cases, failure to comply with the request may affect relationship — work or personal. You need to learn how to formulate refusals so that they don offend show your disposition.

Read also: How to calculate a manipulator: recognizing by actions and methods of influence

Which opt-out forms can be used

When talking about  refusals, most often they mean direct and strong language that can really offend someone who asks for help. But not everything is so simple, because saying "no" can also be different. There are three options:

• Direct refusal. This form is well suited for cases where the request itself is formulated with a claim to others' personal space.

• Compromise. Means that you don't refuse, but consider the request later. In this case, it makes sense to ask questions to get more information about the needs of the asker.

• Delicate refusal. The best form of "no" if you want to show the person that is important to you.

Features of the choice of the form of refusal depend on many factors: the personality of the person who needs help, the situation and the request itself. You have to take into account various nuances, and still there is no one hundred percent guarantee that you will be able to save the relationship.

Read also: How to please other people: 5 effective tricks

How to learn to say "no": 5 ways to formulate refusals

The smartest solution — observe people who often refuse requests and at the same time manage to maintain relationships with the surroundings. If you can learn this art from living examples, imitate. Also pay attention to & nbsp; advice from psychologists:

1. Give yourself time to think. Make it a rule to pause before your final answer. Even if the decision to refuse is made, the wording needs to be considered. To buy time, ask again or just say, "Let me think..."

2. Less apologies.

   How to learn to say "no" and leaving a good impression of yourself? Start rejection with "I'm sorry...", "Sorry...", but avoid apologizing. You have no to to ask for forgiveness! And here the interlocutor"confession" can make a negative impression, because you will emphasize that you must help him even to the detriment of your interests.

3. Brevity is always appropriate.

   Be succinct, for example: "Unfortunately, I can't do it today because..."

4. Explain the reason for the rejection, but do not go into detail.

   Long explanations are rarely needed, but a brief summary of the situation is worthwhile, for example: "I have an appointment for this evening."

5. "Mirror" the interlocutor, use his vocabulary.

   This way you show that you have heard the request, understood the needs of the person, sympathize with him, but have to refuse for personal reasons. An example of such a dialogue: "Please help this evening with an urgent report" — "I understand that the report is urgent, but unfortunately I have other plans for tonight."

Sometimes these methods don work with obsessive people. They may keep pushing you to change your mind. If you have already tried all the options, but to no avail, then resort to the tactic of repeating the failure in the same form. Yes, it will be unpleasant for the interlocutor, but it will show him how inappropriate and childish his persistence looks. You don don have to be rude, formally there nothing to find fault with .

Communication Mistakes: 7 Barriers to Successful Communication  The main thing about the art of saying "no" correctly

Rejection is unpleasant, but if you have to, do it right:

• Decide on form.

  Sometimes a brief and outright rejection — the best option, but it may not be suitable if relationship with the requesting person is important to you.

• Don't respond immediately.

  Take a break, check your calendar and to-do list.

• Don't apologize if you don to ask for forgiveness.

  This makes a bad impression. It's better to start a rejection with "I'm sorry..."

• Be concise.

  Keep your answers short, but be sure to explain the reason for the rejection.

• Use the same words as the person you are talking to.

  This will emphasize rapport.

• Don't shy away from repeating the refusal to the intrusive person.

  Use the same wording you chose from the start. This way you spend less effort fighting a persistent interlocutor, but confirm that you are determined.

Respect people, fulfill their requests, but not to detriment to your own interests. This will help to build comfortable and mutually beneficial relationships with the people around you.

When it is worth limiting communication with relatives and why it is important