Yesterday everything was fine, but today the world collapsed? Unfortunately, there is no person who has not faced the pain of loss, betrayal or death of a loved one. And although they say "time heals", this is only partly true. The black streak must be lived correctly, otherwise it may drag on, and & nbsp; all life will be reduced to & nbsp; constant suffering. We picked up effective recommendations of psychologists that will help you survive the difficult moments of life.
- Time to grieve: living the crisis right
- How to help loved ones get through difficult moments in life
Time to grieve: living the crisis right
Any misfortune takes us by surprise and tune in, prepare for it is impossible. It is impossible to predict your behavior in difficult moments of life, but understanding and awareness of your own experiences will help you get through this difficult period more easily.
Psychologists have identified several stages of grief that are natural to the psyche. Each of them needs to be passed through in order to fully accept the situation and continue to live on. Below are the recommendations of specialists who will help to cope with the disaster.
Survive the shock
First reaction to bad news — denial and disbelief. The defense mechanisms of the psyche simply do not let this news pass, do not "allow" think about her. This is necessary to mobilize internal forces, so it's not worth fighting "petrification", trying to focus on what's happening. If the stage lasts longer than 3 days, it is better to seek help from a psychologist.
Let yourself be emotional
Don't try to "be strong", "hold on" and all that. Grief must be lived, loss must be mourned. Don't be shy about sobbing and tears, on the contrary, the more you suppress them, the longer this period of acute grief will last.
Don go down
No matter how you want to lie down in bed, turn your back to the wall and not get up, don allow yourself this. Through force, but perform everyday activities: brush your teeth, take a shower, change clothes. Gradually expand your to-do list, praise yourself for every new achievement, even if it's a simple trip to shop.
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Don't make drastic decisions
Often in difficult moments of life, you want to break loose and leave your pain, change jobs, place of residence, quit everything. Tell yourself "I will think about this in six months or a year, if the desire doesn go away — I will move in this direction».
Don neglect the help of psychologists
If you feel that you are unable to cope on your own, you have obsessive thoughts about death, your appetite — contact a specialist. Trying to go the hard way alone — useless heroism.
It's hard to predict when interest in life and positive emotions will return. But it is important not to miss this moment, not to pull yourself up «it it same trouble, how can you rejoice». Allow yourself to live on, this is not betrayal and not violation of any dogmas. Any grief — it's a challenge to pass, but not to get stuck in . You have become stronger, wiser and ready to live on, and sad events are left behind, but not forgotten.
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In modern society, a culture of empathy and sympathy is not developed, as the emphasis is always on positiveness, optimism and in general — make lemonade if you get a lemon. Therefore, when a loved one gets into trouble, with all the desire to help, we only squeeze out of ourselves "Hold on, be strong." and other common phrases. How to really help in difficult moments of life? Experts recommend the following.
Create conditions
In grief, a person cannot fulfill their work and social functions. Stress takes away all the energy, so there is no strength even for elementary things. Take on the performance of some duties: pick up the children from the kindergarten, help with cooking, walk the dog. Yes, these are trifles, but they are very important and help better than any words.
Don distract
To go through all the stages of mourning means to fully immerse yourself in sadness and memories. No need to distract with some news, try to saturate the life of a loved one with bright events. Don don stop him mourning your loss, better talk, remember, cry with him.
If it seems to you that the reason for sadness is so-so, it only seems to you. Everyone has their own pain threshold, their own relationships and their own world, in which this particular event brings just such emotions. Be respectful and refrain from commenting.
Be there for as long as you need
In the first time after a difficult event, there are enough people who want to support. But a week or two passes and everyone returns to the former life. In the vacuum that has been created, it is very difficult not to slide into a depression. Stay by your side until sure your loved one is ready to return to a fulfilling life.
Follow us on Instagram Any troubles end sooner or later. Our psyche is not designed for constant grief, the pain will gradually subside, and the colors will return to the black and white world. Remind yourself of this in difficult moments of your life and maybe you will feel at least a little bit better.
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