With the development of social relations, the importance of social status becomes more and more important. «Who am in the eyes of others» — We are constantly looking for the answer to this question, up to the fact that the assessment of outsiders in general becomes more important for us than our own attitude. How to believe in yourself and stop exaggerating your shortcomings and downplaying your strengths? How do you allow yourself to be yourself? Let's look into the reasons for low self-esteem, and also share the opinion of psychologists on this matter.
- Why people don believe in themselves
- How to believe in yourself: 5 effective ways
- Living in harmony — the best way to find self-confidence
Why don people don believe in themselves
About the fact that all the problems come from childhood everyone knows. And & nbsp; most often for & nbsp; low self-esteem it is customary to "thank" parents: authoritarian mother, indifferent father, all that. In fact, the role of parents is not exaggerated, but far from always they are to blame for the fact that their child somewhere has lost faith in their strengths.
In psychology there is such a concept — impressing. This is understood as certain events in childhood or adolescence that made a deep impression, were remembered and became decisive in motives and self-esteem. Such an event that brought down faith in yourself can be anything, for example:
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criticisms from significant people;
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offensive remarks and taunts from peers (even one-time);
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failure in something (lost competition, last place in competition);
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low evaluation of labor results.
What and when it will cause low self-esteem is difficult to predict, as well as to prevent it. We are not perfect and no matter how you protect your child/teenager, at some point he will lose, take last place, be reprimanded, not will achieve reciprocity. And if at this moment he believes in his own worthlessness, "disenchant" his back will be very difficult. But it's real, the main thing is to want to improve.
Read also: How to love yourself: working on yourself
How to believe in yourself: 5 effective ways
In order to have self-confidence, two conditions must be met. First — positive feedback from others, praise and gratitude in any manifestations. And second — a clear confirmation of one's own successes, which even the lowest self-esteem cannot ignore. If you don't know how to believe in yourself, use the following recommendations from psychologists:
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Give help. Charity, volunteering — this is a great opportunity to receive a portion of sincere gratitude, to feel needed and important for someone. Donate blood, go to an orphanage, help an old man from a neighboring entrance, it won't take much time and effort, but it will give you the right feeling «I can, I help, I do an important thing and ;gets me».
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Go in for sports. Physical activity and in itself changes a lot in our worldview (example — — runner's euphoria). And if you don not to be lazy, and don not quit classes after a couple of weeks, then the result will not keep you waiting. Let it be not Olympic gold, but a couple of dropped kilograms or manifested press cubes — this is entirely and nbsp;completely your merit, and it means you know how to achieve your goal.
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"Collect" praise. Get yourself a separate notebook and write down all the times when you were highly appreciated or simply praised. You'll be surprised how many signs of approval and attention ignore our self-critical attitude. Live in your memory every such minute, accustom yourself to the thought "I well done!" and slowly you will believe in yourself.
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Forgive those who offended you. Recall the most painful examples of unfair treatment and try to forgive those who knowingly belittled your self-esteem. It was an attempt to assert itself at your expense, a herd feeling to kick the weak, childish / adult stupidity and nothing more. Get taller, forgive this weakness and forget it
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Befriend your flaws.We were not perfect so and what? Just accept that you have freckles/nearsightedness/short legs or what were teased as a child? It is not necessary, when trying to deal with & nbsp; shortcomings, to flaunt them. It's just such a physical bug, everyone everyone and shouldn't wear with it.
Restore self-confidence — it’s not easy, otherwise psychologists wouldn’t make fortunes by explaining how to believe in yourself. And to go to this, without turning off the path and not paying attention to failures. "It's very important to just not give up" Stephen Hawking once said, and he already knew what faith in one's strength is capable of.
Read also: A student syndrome: how to allow yourself to be imperfect
Live in harmony — the best way to find self-confidence
Strange as it may seem, but not everyone can clearly say why high self-esteem is needed at all. Many believe that this is a synonym for leadership, success, public recognition. But this is not so, although faith in one's strength undoubtedly helps in solving many life issues. But not everyone can be a leader and if you are a talented performer, make it your strength and be happy as the role of an ordinary employee.
A quiet and modest person is not equally unsure of himself, just as outward bravado does not always reflect real possibilities. Yesterday's downtrodden bespectacled man can easily run a company in Silicon Valley, and a cocky alpha male can work as a locksmith. Main — don not be tormented by the question of how to believe in yourself, but be able to prioritize and make the right decisions, knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Understanding what is within your power and what beyond possible is perhaps the highest manifestation of self-confidence.
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