We need the rules of conduct in society for a safe and comfortable life among people. For any parent, the development of the child in society — an important point in education. The way a child behaves in public and cultural places gives the first impression of us as parents. Often it is superficial and & nbsp; erroneous. Therefore, it is not worth teaching a child only formal good manners. Behind outward politeness may be hiding self-doubt, hypocrisy or aggression.
There are many pitfalls in this seemingly simple question. Let's figure out what to pay attention to for parents who want to teach their child to behave culturally in society.
- Child development in society: how to instill good manners
- Child and manners: 5 rules for parents
- Briefly about the main thing: we teach a child to behave culturally in society
Child development in society: how to instill good manners
Many parents have experienced social stigmatization for children's behavior. Some are not satisfied with the fact that a small child is crying on the bus, others are beside themselves from running and screaming children, others do not understand why children are taken to shops, museums, cinemas. Everyone wants babies from the cradle to behave like little noble aristocrats.
Has anyone seen these kids? In the & nbsp; nature of children lies a love for & nbsp; active games, a desire to make noise, increased emotionality and & nbsp; curiosity. Of course, all this can be strangled in the root and raise a perfect, quiet and polite child with a broken psyche.
If it is not included in your plans, then you will have to put up with public condemnation. Our society is only coming to an understanding of the need to create a friendly atmosphere for children. Therefore, there will always be someone who will be unhappy with your child or you as a parent. Try to please everyone — means breaking yourself and child.
But the development of the child in society and his socialization suggest that parents must teach children the rules of behavior and good manners. This will help the child to find a common language with other people, painlessly join the team, feel confident and in their place.
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This approach is a little more difficult than simply teaching a child to say "Good afternoon", "Excuse me", "Thank you". But in in the long term it will bring much more dividends. It gives the opportunity to raise a cultured child, but able to defend their rights, not avoiding conflicts, but knowing how to resolve them peacefully, respecting other people and their opinion.
Child and manners: 5 rules for parents
You should start not with child, but with yourself
Children copy their parents even in small things. This is clearly seen in the example of young children, when they repeat what they observe at at home. A personal example is called the most powerful educational technique. If the parents themselves are not especially polite and cultural, then it shouldn't expect the child to learn the rules of decency by magic. Many adults have work to do. The way we behave in people and what principles we adhere to children absorb much better than any moralizing.
Respect the child
Often, parents teach their child to respect their elders without thinking what they mean by these words. If we consider this issue from the point of view of children's safety, it is also very controversial. Not all adults are good, some must be kept away from and not observe the rules of decency. Be sure to discuss this moment with children.
In other cases, the — as you treat me, so I treat you. And the task of parents — to teach to respect not just elders, but to try to be polite with everyone. This is the norm of social behavior. It originates from the relationship of the parents to the child.
If a parent respects his child, then it is much easier for him to explain why other people should be respected. Respect for the child is manifested in respecting boundaries, in the ability to have personal opinions and things, in the absence of any violence. And also in the fact that parents don see nothing shameful in telling their children "I'm sorry", "Please", "Thank you".
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Everything has its time
Don't wait for a one-year-old to eat neatly and clean up the dishes. Or the toddler will quietly sit in the queue, in the café and decently walk with hand handle with you. Each age has its own characteristics that must be taken into account. Somewhere to reconcile, somewhere to show how to do it right, somewhere to repeat it again.
Sometimes parents are in a hurry and demand to follow the rules of decency from a child who is not at all ready for this. There is an opinion that the sooner you teach your child good manners, the better. But the main thing here is to find a middle ground, keep a sense of proportion and be patient.
Tell rules of conduct and good manners
Preferably in advance, and not at the moment you came to theater or a guest. Tell us what good manners are and why they should be observed in society. For preschoolers and younger students, it is best to present such situations in the form of a game, and not mini-lectures. Take the children's favorite toys and simulate situations that will clearly show the child what behavior is expected of him.
Books and cartoons that teach the need for good manners don don
Encourage, don don criticize
Notice any children's victories. Avoid overly enthusiastic or exaggerated flattery so that the child does not become addicted to praise. You may notice that he did the right/nice/right thing when he did such-and-such. Be specific so that the child remembers what was right.
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Remember that little kids never do anything on purpose. They may lack parental attention, they may feel bad, tired, succumb to curiosity. Therefore, refrain from public debriefing, wait until the child calms down and explain why his behavior was unacceptable and what should have been done.
Briefly about the main thing: we teach a child to behave culturally in society
Children, like a sponge, absorb everything that happens around them. The influence of friends and society on children's behavior cannot be denied. But & nbsp; all the same, the family remains the most important authority for them. Parents will have to find a balance and their approach to the child in order to instill politeness and good manners.
It won't do without discipline, but it should be based on respect for children and take into account age peculiarities:
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Respect your child and set an example in your own behavior.
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Teach not just polite manners, but and pass on your values.
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Tell rules of conduct and what good manners are. Don do not forget to say why people invented them, i.e. show the benefits of such behavior for the child.
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Don't criticize, don shame, don humiliate the child in public. Don do this and in private. It's best to tell him what went wrong and how it could be fixed (and how it can be fixed now). Remember that personal example works best.
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Reject praise lectures that children of all ages hate tolerate. They perceive games and confidential conversations much better.
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