Adolescence – the period of life when a matured child begins to restructure the whole organism. Many parents notice that the child becomes more aggressive during this period. The character of the child changes, and he has a difficult period of self-affirmation. At school, aggressive behavior of teenagers is manifested by cases of violence against less weak children – they are mocked, humiliated morally and physically. In adolescence, the child's attitude towards his parents also changes, they seem boring to him, constantly giving wrong advice. The opinion of a teenager is in the first place, and only it is true and correct. With their aggressive behavior, teenagers hurt everyone, regardless of status and age.
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Aggressive behavior of a teenager – how to find a way out for parents
Parents often wonder why the child was calm and obedient yesterday, but today it is impossible to find a common language with him. From the standpoint of nature, the imbalance of hormones and the restructuring of the body are to blame. Psychologists, studying the behavioral reactions of adolescents, came to the conclusion that emotional reactions, which in adults are a sign of illness, for a teenager – the norm.
How to deal with verbal aggression: 5 effective exercises
There are several reasons for the appearance of aggressive behavior in adolescents: • there is a predisposition to aggressive behavior – closed, constantly thinking about the opinions of others, irritable personalities are prone to it; • the influence of the media, social networks, computer games, where there are scenes of violence and cruelty, – all this negatively affects the behavior of a teenager, he, like a sponge, “absorbs” into itself all the negativity;• family relations – if a child lives in a family in which violence is the norm or parents overprotect him, then such moments serve as the foundation for the appearance of aggression in a teenager in the future; the use of narcotic and alcoholic substances at an early age;• way of self-assertion – the child arranges some kind of competition with his parents, i.e. if he treats his parents roughly and cruelly, then it seems to him that he is a winner, he is on top;
Aggressive behavior of a teenager – how to respond correctly
To prevent the occurrence of aggression on the part of a teenager, there are special recommendations that have been developed by psychologists and educators.
These recommendations provide a positive solution to conflict situations:
• if the child raised his voice at you, do not answer the same in response, – better keep silent or speak in a whisper;
• at the first manifestations of aggression, talk to the child that his behavior is abnormal, why it upsets you, film it and show the child from the outside how he behaves;
• do not ask your child to do something unrealistic, for example, correct all marks in mathematics (and there are 20 of them) before the end of the week, set realistic goals for him – do not provoke him to aggression;
• control your behavior – show your child a good example of responding to aggressive behavior, that is, do not shout, do not show your power over him, do not threaten, because by showing your aggression, you lose the chance to achieve partnerships; do not discuss the child’s behavior in public, try to minimize the child’s guilt in public, for example, “you didn’t mean to offend him, you probably accidentally” etc.;
• the younger the child, the softer you should respond to his aggression – inspire the child with calmness with gestures and facial expressions, joke. show your child a good example of responding to aggressive behavior, that is, do not shout, do not show your power over him, do not threaten, because by showing your aggression, you lose the chance to achieve partnerships; do not discuss the child’s behavior in public, try to minimize the child’s guilt in public, for example, “you didn’t mean to offend him, you probably accidentally” etc.;• the younger the child, the softer you should respond to his aggression – inspire the child with calmness with gestures and facial expressions, joke.
show your child a good example of responding to aggressive behavior, that is, do not shout, do not show your power over him, do not threaten, because by showing your aggression, you lose the chance to achieve partnerships; do not discuss the child’s behavior in public, try to minimize the child’s guilt in public, for example, “you didn’t mean to offend him, you probably accidentally” etc.;
• the younger the child, the softer you should respond to his aggression – inspire the child with calmness with gestures and facial expressions, joke.
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Show your child positive examples every day, so you will form authority. Do not prioritize school, exams, grades – it's not the most important thing. Be more interested in the child's life, his interests, his sorrows and joys, and not just whether he did his homework.
Many parents themselves are fighting for survival, working day and night and they have absolutely no time to communicate with children. But what you lay in a child at an early age, – then reap in adolescence. Aggression breeds reciprocal aggression. We advise you to take this factor into account.
Ways to overcome adolescent aggressive behavior
There is no single and exact method to overcome the aggressive behavior of a teenager. There are no identical children, and approaches are also different for everyone. At the same time, each manifestation of aggression is fraught with a reason, talk to the child, maybe something is bothering him, but he is afraid to tell you about it. Give him the opportunity to make a choice on his own, take into account his interest.
Analyze your family relationships
– eliminate conflicts between spouses. Help your child find an activity, such as sports. There he will take out his anger on the sports equipment. Share with him your methods of dealing with stress and anger (alcohol and cigarettes do not count). Become a friend and adviser to your child, do not criticize or judge in any way.
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How to deal with aggression: five effective ways
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