It's impossible to live without friends, because meeting with them and spending time together brings a lot of positive emotions. Perhaps every woman has a best friend, and maybe several, with whom you went through "both fire and water." The need for friendships is due to our needs for love, understanding, and so on. Getting the support of like-minded people is always good, but what if you can’t even take a step without your best friend, and a long absence of a call causes panic? Here we are talking about the fact that you have an emotional addiction, and not a simple female friendship, and estet-portal.com offers to deal with this concept in detail.
Determining: emotional dependence or attachment
Many people confuse attachment and dependence, the first concept is much safer, because having become attached to a friend, you can continue close communication, and then disappear for a while and meet again. You will not experience any discomfort during this period, but on the contrary, you will get a positive from the meeting after a long separation.
With such a thing as emotional dependence, everything is different, there is no meeting or any other contact (SMS correspondence, social networks, etc.) causes panic and anxiety. In this case, you should seriously think about the consequences of such a friendship and determine if you have the first symptoms of an addictive condition.
Emotional addiction: what the first signs of a problem look like
There are some warning signs that you can tell if you're developing an emotional addiction:
• perception of an increase in the distance between a friend as a disaster (if the object of friendship does not pick up the phone, then it means "does not want to be friends");
• the call to dialogue begins with phrases like: "where are you?", "what happened?", "call back, I'm worried", in addition, the suffering side accompanies the text with emoticons and statuses that convey mood, a similar situation occurs in love, when friendship after breakup – rarity;
• physical ailments are manifested in the form of a rapid heartbeat, pain in the head, trembling in the hands, etc.;
• symptoms disappear
It is interesting that emotional dependence does not arise without reason, and it develops for a reason and not in all people. Such excesses in relationships are born in early childhood, when the mother plays the most important role. The period when the baby is in the stomach and under the age of 1 year is especially important, then full communication with the mother and good relationships give confidence in one's own safety and support from the outside. And how else, you ask, because in this period a woman a priori takes care of the baby, surrounds him with care and affection. But this is not always the case, there are many cases when the pregnancy is unplanned and the bearing of a child is not a joy. Sometimes a woman in labor suffers from depression and she is also not up to the baby, she does not want to "communicate with the one who brought her so much suffering"; certain time,
If you suspect that you have an emotional dependency and have become a "hostage" your friend, check out these tips to help you overcome the problem:
• realize that in other people you want to find what you lacked in childhood from your parents, and accept the problem;• try not to accumulate your own feelings and emotions, but to express them, analyze them, etc.;
• increase self-esteem, do not let others manipulate you, because you are self-sufficient;
• do not expect help from others, you are responsible for your life and how it will be (happy or not) depends only on you;
• if you can’t overcome the addiction on your own, do not neglect the help of a specialist, visit a psychologist,
Friendship can turn into dependence on a person if the process of excessive affection is not stopped in time. Temporary separation from a girlfriend should not be a disaster, because there are also personal matters. You should look for the roots of the problem in early childhood, therefore, know that you can deal with it.
You should not think that you should be friends only with those who think and act in the same way, and who also want to devote all their free time to you. A person has personal boundaries, because everyone is individual and can be interested in anything. Emotional dependency – a problem that can be solved by realizing it in a timely manner. Having girlfriends, chatting and meeting with them should be part of your life, not life itself. After all, it's nice to remember a good time with an interesting person, but to depend on every phone call, the absence of which can ruin your mood and cause physical discomfort, is not entirely pleasant.
Why and who needs a conversation with a psychologist
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