The only child in the family: how to raise

The only child in the family — spoiled and not adapted to life. So they thought back in the beginning of the last century, when families with one child were rather an exception. Modern psychologists are in no hurry to agree with such a one-sided position. But all do do exclude that the upbringing of an only child has its own peculiarities. The fact is that such children are often surrounded by love, increased attention and care. All this can do a disservice to the child if the parents put him in the center of the family.

• An only child in family: 5 tips for parents
• Give your child more independence
• Be the parent to of friend
• Teach your child to be friends
• Get rid of inflated expectations
• Teach your child patience and give more personal freedom

An only child in family: 5 tips for parents

More and more families decide to settle for one child. Psychologists and  sociologists talk about this as a new trend to which it is worth adapting. They stress that it's not good and not bad. It's just that the arrangement and approach to upbringing in small families will be much different than in large ones.

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What problems does an only child face in a family

• Intense attachment to parents and comfortable little world they create. From this follows the fear of the big world and problems with communication and relationships.

• Inflated self-esteem and strings for perfectionism.

• Hesitation in making decisions.

• Reluctance to take responsibility.

However, only children have their own advantages. They value friendship and family relations, are sensitive to family values ​​and traditions, they are intellectually developed and trust their strengths that allow them to achieve success.

Read also: The Big Difference in Children's Ages: Parenting Secrets from Experienced Parents

And the problems in their upbringing directly follow from what line of upbringing the parents choose.

We picked up a few tips that will help smooth out the problems in raising an only child

Give your child more independence

When there is only one child in a family, then everything will revolve around him. Care, love and attention to the inner world of the child — OK. But not when it becomes overcontrol. By the way, it has little to do parental love, and rather masks their personal anxieties and fears. Overprotection suffocates the child, deprives him of his personality and desire to develop. It is not necessarily present only in parents of one child, but they have more power and control.

How to Raise Independence in Children:

1. Let's choose from a very early age. For example, what to eat for breakfast, how to celebrate a birthday, what to wear for a walk. Decisions should be feasible for the age of the child. At first, it may seem like a trifle when the baby himself chooses the colors for his tights. But this is how the ability to choose, listen to one and take responsibility is formed.

2. Don't criticize the child's choices and let the child be responsible for their choice.

   The temptation to step in and help the child will always be great, but that way he will understand that his every decision will be responsible for  certain consequences.

3. Recognize your child's right to mistake.

   Mistakes are necessary in order to learn to do something new. Contrary to popular belief, they help develop.

Be a parent to your child, not a friend

The child should have equal rights with other family members, but at the same time, see the parents as the main adults, and not their friends. Children need boundaries that parent friends can't build. They are too frank with the child, share all their problems, do not know how to say "no", give the right to vote in those issues that children are not able to solve. All this makes the child's world shaky and unreliable. And after all, one of the tasks of a parent — provide psychological comfort. Therefore, the boundaries in upbringing should be, which does not negate a good relationship with the child.

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Is need control of child  children

Teach your child to be friends

Brothers and sisters in the family teach each other how to negotiate and cooperate. The only child in the family is deprived of this. On the contrary, he is surrounded by adults whose attention is focused on him. Therefore, it is very important to develop the child's social skills.

Communicating with other children will help:

Kindergarten, circles, sections

• Inviting other children to guests

• Maintaining relationships with cousins ​​and sisters

• Own parental example of conflict resolution and ability to compromise

This will help the only child in the family not to feel alone, to learn to cooperate with other children, and not to see them only as competitors.

Get rid of inflated expectations

When there is only one child in a family, he/nbsp;he has a great responsibility to meet the expectations of relatives. Everyone wants to see in an outstanding personality and, as a rule, not take into account what the child wants, loves, and what the child himself aspires to . To earn the approval of their parents, such children try their best. But in adulthood, this can turn into a crisis of personality and self-realization.

Let your child enjoy childhood, make mistakes, find himself, enjoy the process and try different things. Don cultivate perfectionism and the desire to be the best. In fact, it kills creativity and creativity. And these are the main professional qualities for the XXI century.

Read also: 

Incomplete family: how to raise a happy child

Teach your child patience and give more personal freedom

Most of the needs of one child are met very quickly. To do this, parents have the time and resources. But it is not always useful. If you overwhelm a child with gifts, fulfill any of his wishes, anticipate desires, all this will turn against the parents. For example, the child did not have time to become interested in dinosaurs, as the parents bought him a whole collection of toys, took him to the museum, to the exhibition, bought books and showed all kinds of films on this topic. They did not allow the child to develop a sense of curiosity and search for answers to questions. The adults presented everything on a plate and they are surprised that the child quickly loses interest. He becomes impatient, moody, indifferent and 

Don rush to the child at first call and don rush to satisfy all his wishes. Help me learn to wait, seek and follow the rules.

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The main feature of raising an only child in a family — This is the undivided attention of parents. If parents do not make the child the center of the universe or their own tear vest, then there is nothing wrong with that. Unconditional love of parents, building reasonable boundaries, respect for the interests and features of the child — it will make any child's childhood happy.

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How to better understand your child: important tips and useful literature for parents

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