The institution of the family is gradually changing, losing its traditional meaning for a person. The number of divorces is increasing, due to which more and more children grow up in single-parent families.
This statistic is also increased by single mothers who gave birth to a child out of wedlock. If you believe the numbers, then every second baby grows up with only one parent. But mom and dad – important figures in the life of every person. And it cannot be said that one of them is more or less important.
An incomplete family deprives one of these important components. But this will not hurt to bring up a harmonious personality, if you know how to do it right. estet-portal.com will tell you how one parent can raise a happy child and a self-confident adult!
1. Incomplete family: typical mistakes of a parent
2. A happy child: some parenting tips
Incomplete family: typical mistakes of a parent
Almost all single parents make the same mistakes. This does not speak of their failure, but is a reaction to the stress associated with the loss of a loved one, divorce, parting.
It is important to understand this in time in order to make the life of the child and your own happy.
So, there are three negative parenting scenarios:
1. Self-sacrifice - this is more often "sinned" by mothers left without the support of their father. Such a woman throws all her strength into raising a child, putting an end to her personal life, hobbies, career ambitions.
So she fills the void in her life, tries to be "perfect" mom. For a child, this is expressed in constant control, excessive guardianship, when he cannot do something himself.
Mom takes care of everything – even the smallest ones. As a result of such upbringing, children grow up anxious, cannot express their opinion, do not show initiative, they are very selfish.
Excessive anxiety of the parent irritates the child, he tries to move away from him, which is expressed by conflict.
2. Tyranny is excessive exactingness and severity, fear of spoiling. Such a parent knows about the dangers of overprotection and chooses the exact opposite pattern of behavior, another extreme. All aspects of a child's life are criticized, many prohibitions are set.
As a result - isolation, concealment of one's true feelings, the ability to lie to a parent. In the future, this is fraught with the formation of an inferiority complex, when an adult remains "unloved"; due to lack of domestic warmth and understanding.
3. Lack of contact – often a parent is forced to work literally for two in order to provide a decent life for their children.
Yes, the material component – important part of life. But we must not forget that communication with an adult is much more valuable for a child. And it cannot be replaced by expensive gifts or pocket money.
If you practically do not talk to your child, he will feel a lack of attention. And will try to attract him with whims, disobedience, defiant behavior at home or at school.
Be honest with your child, trust him, leave the right to personal space. What matters is not the quantity of communication, but its quality.
If you are busy at work, find time to talk with your children in the evening. Tell them the truth that you have to work hard because you
There are no trifles in raising a child. It is important for children to communicate regularly with the parent, to feel that he is needed and loved. Therefore, no expensive toys or gadgets can replace the usual conversation and spending time together.
Psychologists have created recommendations for a parent raising a child alone:1. Talk to your child more often, play with him
– we are not talking about the time spent at the TV or computer. It is important to speak, to hear what exactly the child wants to tell you. Only in this case is mutual understanding possible.
2. Create an atmosphere of trust- children must trust an adult, be sure that they will be understood and supported by . In this case, you will definitely know about the experiences of the child, his problems at school or on playground. This is especially important in adolescence: if there is no trust, then the child "closes" from the parent, emotionally moving away.
3. Do not blame- the child should not feel guilty for the divorce of the parents or the loneliness of one of them.
4. Do not create a negative image of a father or mother- yes, the departed parent may not be the standard of nobility and humanity, but you do not need to create such an image in the child's head. This can, at least, give rise to the association "my father is a bad person - so I'm bad too."
5. Contact a psychologist- if you have problems with mutual understanding or you find it difficult to educate, do not be afraid to consult a specialist. This does not speak of your failure as a parent, because sometimes each of us needs help! Remember that in a
single-parent familythe child has to grow up faster, take on some of the "adults" household duties. Respect the efforts of your child, praise him for his help, treat him as an equal. Only a happy adult can raise a child like that. Live a full life, do not go in cycles in the child and work!
Incomplete familyis not an obstacle in the upbringing of a happy child, not a hindrance to his harmonious development. Of course, this is possible if the parent understands all responsibility for their actions and words. None of the most expensive gift can replace communication with a parent. This is the only way the baby feels that he is loved, needed, significant for mom or dad. It is also important not to create a negative image of the departed parent, even if he was not the best person. Do not focus on the child, devote time to your hobbies and relaxation. This will not make you a bad parent – vice versa!
Only a happy adult is able to bring up a harmonious personality – happy, confident in yourself and your abilities!
How to explain divorce to a child: practical recommendations from child psychologists
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