Look around, and then answer a simple question: are there many people around you who are in perfect control of their emotions?
Controlling one's emotional reactions allows a person to largely control their life by not allowing themselves to act out of anger, anger, or in a fit of unbridled joy.
Human emotions necessarily need to be controlled, otherwise there is a risk of making many unforgivable mistakes or becoming a victim of outright manipulation. Together with estet-portal.com we will get acquainted with some tricks that will allow you to control the emotional component of your life.
1. Human emotions: why are they needed
2. Why you need to control your emotions
3. How to develop the habit of managing emotions
4. We learn to model situations and our behavior
5. Mastering the skill of assessing the situation from the side
6. Looking for a safe outlet for negative energy
Human emotions: why are they needed
What are emotions and do people need them if they cause so many problems? Alas, the emotional (or irrational) component of our psyche is its integral part, it is the emotional reactions to various – both external and internal stimuli are basic for us, laid down by nature.
The mechanism for the emergence of emotions was primitive, but it worked instantly, and perhaps this is what allowed our biological species, which is much inferior in strength and dexterity to many competitors, not only to survive, but and build an advanced civilization.
In those very harsh times, still young humanity, it was most likely not up to reasoning.
Fear dictated the need to run as fast as possible, hunger forced to show dexterity in the hunt, and anger and rage doubled the strength needed to defeat numerous enemies.
In our modern reality, we are also often guided by emotions: any person has happened to act under the influence of fear or anger, to become a victim of his own greed or passion.
Why you need to control your emotions
So, human emotions – it is an inborn, highly effective mechanism necessary for the survival of the individual, bestowed by nature. These or other changes in the external environment or internal state cause certain emotions that prompt us to action, this is a kind of vital energy necessary in order to realize our desires or avoid danger.
But, of course, such a model of behavior is not characteristic of a modern civilized person, because in everyday life our actions are guided not only by emotions, but also by reason, the rational component of our personality.
A civilized person – whether he wants it or not, he must curb, humble his emotions, developing & nbsp; a different reaction to stimuli, getting used to being guided not only by feelings, but also by reason, comparing momentary impulses with the far-reaching consequences of their actions.
We begin to realize the need to control our emotions already in early childhood, when in response to a very emotional demand to buy a toy we like, they put us in a corner and offer to think about our behavior.
Unfortunately, growing up, not everyone is fully aware of the fallacy of such a model of behavior. That is why it is sometimes so difficult for us to reach mutual understanding, peacefully resolve a conflict or avoid clever manipulation, after all, human emotions are primary, but it is emotional restraint that makes us especially vulnerable.
How to develop the habit of managing emotions
Yes, that's right, we are talking about a habit, a kind of mechanism that allows you to "turn on your head" in time, activate the rational component of your personality in response to certain stimuli.
But how to turn on such a mechanism? Experts recommend starting with a well-formulated question relating to a particular situation. Thus, you switch, focusing not on emotions, but on the search for an answer, which means that you deprive your impulse of energy necessary for action.
Does it seem difficult to you? However if you set a goal and train yourself in easier situations, you will be able to appreciate the effectiveness of this method.
But what questions can be considered correct? Consider an example when a certain situation scares you and you are ready to do anything to avoid its repetition.
Think what underlies your fear, evaluate the "limit of horror" and compare it with reality. Perhaps you are afraid of an unrestrained boss and avoid the opportunity to prove your case? In this case, just imagine what will happen in the worst case? If you lose your job then it only means the possibility of finding another, perhaps with a higher salary and more adequate management.
So, we will consider correct questions that reveal the nature of human emotions, form the basis for the analysis of possible actions and the results obtained.
Learning to model situations and our behavior
Of course, the mind does not always have time to prevent a surge of human emotions, because their mechanism does not have "inertia", the emotional reaction can be instantaneous.
It is the speed of reaction that is needed to avoid a collision with a car rushing towards you or a car that is not too friendly rhino. However, it is the thoughtless reaction that makes us regret the thoughtless words and deeds.
Of course, there is not always time for analysis and sorting things out. That is why we are so often forced to repent, suffering from the inability to correct the consequences of our words or actions.
What if being an impulsive and temperamental person, you are used to "not looking into your pocket for words", or vice versa, mumbling something unintelligible, after the fact you come up with beautiful formulations and witty answers?
Psychologists recommend not only to analyze the mistakes made, but to build & nbsp; in your imagination a model of a possible situation, imagine options for your actions and possible & nbsp; effects. Thus, you will be able to choose the most effective variant of your behavior.
It is useful to say the most "difficult" words out loud, rehearse in front of a mirror.
We master the skill of assessing the situation from the outside
Often negative emotions consume us whole, we rush about in search of an answer, not knowing what to do.
We will have a hard time experiencing injustice, difficulties in personal relationships or in a work team. At the same time, we sometimes come to a dead end, because it is precisely the overabundance of emotions that prevents the adoption of a rational, deliberate decision.
How can you help yourself if you have absolutely no one to ask for advice? Oddly enough, the answer is obvious: imagine what a good and reliable friend would advise you. Just look at what is happening from the side, not as a participant in the events, but as an outside observer, abstract from the situation.
The advantages of this approach are obvious, because here, first of all, the very “correct” one is involved. a question that switches you from emotions to thoughts. In addition, you will never give yourself impossible advice, which is so often heard from others.
Looking for a safe outlet for negative energy
Any strong emotions of a person, both positive and negative, require an outlet, which is why we sometimes want to share both joy and sorrow.
Repeated repeated stressful situations that cause a storm of emotions can have a detrimental effect on the body, because subconsciously they require action, energy release. And, of course, there is nothing worse than suppressing such a need. But how can this be done without harming others, without breaking family sets and without destroying furniture in the chief's office?
As an alternative to beating dishes, any kind of intense physical activity is suitable: beat a punching bag well, do twenty push-ups or do a general cleaning on the mezzanine – at the same time, in a fit of anger and irritation, you can throw away a moth-eaten sheepskin coat and five pairs of unfashionable sandals.
A person who is in perfect control of himself in any situation is not just pleasant to talk to, he is also a successful, sought-after professional whose actions are most effective in the current situation.
Perhaps it is not easy to achieve such an ideal, but by working on yourself, you will soon feel a certain result. Even if you consider yourself an absolutely formed personality, it is never too late to embark on the path of self-improvement, to grow not only professionally, but to reach new heights in the intellectual and moral sphere.
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